How Lopsided is Too Lopsided?

MikesAngie

When we began planning our wedding we were in agreement about wedding party size, four per side.  Now a little more than 5 months out and the bride's side is down to two.  The groom's side will have a Best Man and three groomsmen along with him and his daughter(6 total).  The bride's side will have two ladies and the bride (3 total)... is that too lopsided?

Before you all share that the FDSD could stand with me I will tell you that no she can't.  She gets hyper-clingy when in emotional situations, and she hangs on me when that happens.  She will do much better standing with her dad - she doesn't tend to hang on him as she does me.

mybooboos

It doesn't have to be even.  Four months from now your numbers could change again.  Have the people (male or female) that you value, be the ones to stand up there with you, regardless if the sides equal out. It's better than having a "stand in" just to keep it even.

Just my 2 cents...

Marrin713

I like the idea that everyone gathered around rather each on the sides they're supposed to be on.  I don't know that I've ever seen something like that, but I'm kinda digging the idea.

squarepeg72

As long as the peop;e in your wedding party are people who are special to you and your FH, the numbers don;t matter. I have a matron of honor, maid of honor, 3 bridesmaids and 2 flowergirls. He has 2 best men and 2 groomsmen. The wedding party is made up of my children, his bff's children (he has helped raise them), my bff, his bff and his brother. the guys will be standing up front as the girls walk in and we will sort the leaving out at the rehersal.

AudgiePodge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_lopsided-lopsided?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:89e558d7-8076-4fdd-b9c9-07025c4e5c1fPost:774eb163-15e8-4013-99f0-b5ac94a11f9e">Re: How Lopsided is Too Lopsided?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>As long as the peop;e in your wedding party are people who are special to you and your FH, the numbers don;t matter</strong>. I have a matron of honor, maid of honor, 3 bridesmaids and 2 flowergirls. He has 2 best men and 2 groomsmen. The wedding party is made up of my children, his bff's children (he has helped raise them), my bff, his bff and his brother. the guys will be standing up front as the girls walk in and we will sort the leaving out at the rehersal.
Posted by squarepeg72[/QUOTE]


I agree. The sides don't have to be even.

AbbeyS2011

I think it will be fine.  Maybe you could have your BM escort two of the men out, the 3rd with FIs daughter then the BM and MOH?  Just a thought. 

Our wedding party is also lopsided at the moment.  I would really like FI to ask my MOHs hubby to be one of his GM to make the sides even, but he has not decided yet.  I started it by moving the Jr BM up to a regular BM so I could have FI's cousin's daughters in the wedding since I did not think it would be polite or fair to only ask one of them to be in it.  I think he would rather have my MOHs hubby be his Best Man, but he said if he did not ask one brother then he would be really pissed off but whatever, that is between them LOL.  Either way I think it will work out OK.  I guess worst case is one GM escorts out 2 of the ladies? 

MikesAngie

Retread - there were very sentimental and specific reasons I asked the ladies that I did to be in the wedding party. They were told what those reasons were when they were asked.  That one of my sisters will bow out because of an elective surgery in March is very disheartening to me.  I half expected the long time friend to flake out because she has been doing that all along since being asked to participate.  It was very important to me that they participate.

That being said, my FI has cousins that he would have liked to have seen in the wedding party - but he graciously let me choose my ladies and now he's disappointed as well.  His cousins are genuinely happy for us and want to participate.  My long time friend and sister obviously do not want to participate even though they said they did.

Abbey - we're not having an aisle - different I know.  We're having the gents, my FI the MOG and his daughter all enter from the right hand side in front of our guests, and me and my ladies and the MOB will enter from the left.  When we exit it will be in front of our guests to the right, and we haven't worked out pairing yet.  We opted for this style for two reasons - one it's how Cherokee wedding party enters a lodge a nod to my heritage and two we wanted to seat all the guests together as one large community instead of having sides.

AbbeyS2011

I love that you are incorporating your Cherokee heritage into your ceremony.  Is there a particular way the wedding party leaves the lodge?  It sounds like it will be fine with the people you have.  I understand not wanting to "add" someone else as a replacement just to make it even.

I am sure it will all work itself out.  Good Luck on the rest of your planning!

Lisa50

Nope!  It's not too lopsided.  Rock on, Angie!

MikesAngie

Retread - It wasn't a summons - and they were all asked and agreed and they all wanted to participate.  They each were thrilled to be a part, matter of fact the long time friend practically begged to be in the wedding.  And now this.

The long time friend bowed out because her (married) boyfriend of two years, who cheated on her in August (she took him back) moved out in November and she can't deal with being single (her words not mine).  She may not even be a guest.

The sister is having lap-band surgery (insurance doesn't cover it) in March two weeks before the wedding - which she planned after she agreed to be in the wedding (back in May of this year). The only place that either of my sisters found gowns at was David's and they want 6-8 weeks for a gown to come in and she doesn't want to buy anything until after her surgery.  So that puts her out of the party, plus I doubt she'll be healthy enough to attend.

The most upsetting part of all of this is that they both know when the wedding is and both chose inopportune times and ways to tell me. 

My sister announces her surgery while at a family dinner after she's had 5 cocktails, the same night that we said goodbye to my FFIL: - he died the next morning!  

My friend bowed out in a FB message when a phone call would have been better and she knew it.

I'm from tribes out of Oklahoma, so that may be the difference in how we're entering the site.  I said that the way we're entering is different but not unheard of.

MikesAngie

Thank you Retread - I will follow your advice and let them be until mid-January.  Who knows they may change their minds. At least that is what I am hoping.

Edited to add: I love the idea of having everyone sit together, and that is what spurred on the side entry and like you said it's easier for everyone to see.

shytownkelly

"The sister is having lap-band surgery (insurance doesn't cover it) in March two weeks before the wedding - which she planned after she agreed to be in the wedding (back in May of this year). The only place that either of my sisters found gowns at was David's and they want 6-8 weeks for a gown to come in and she doesn't want to buy anything until after her surgery.  So that puts her out of the party, plus I doubt she'll be healthy enough to attend."

FYI - not sure what her docs are telling her but she won't be that much smaller just a few weeks after her surgery - MAYBE a size.  (which PP pointed out can always be taken in)

As for how she's feeling - really depends on if she's having it done laprosopically or full insicion - and her overall general health.  I had a similar surgery years ago - and I found overall I felt good but because your eating habits are VERY different I lacked energy.  But I had a more invasive one which required a very strict post-op diet...anyway I digress...

Bummer about the timing in general - but if she's been heavy for a long time imagine how excited she is about having a better opportunity at managing her health.   (Not sure this would fly - but could you talk to her about rescheduling her surgery date?)

MikesAngie

My sister is going to let me know what she is planning on doing after she goes in for her informational meeting on Monday.  She may not be able to have it scheduled as soon as she would like which would mean that it would occur after the wedding. 

She's 5'10", large build so it's not like she would ever weigh less than 165 (that is what her doctors told her a healthy weight for her is), but she weighs considerably more than that now.  She has a hard time with portion control, eating healthy and such.

Other than that I am going to leave the two ladies alone until mid-January.