just a quick background: I married at 20, was divorced by 22, (was an unhealthy relationship) had a big wedding, that myself (mostly) and my mom paid for. I'm now 25, still putting myself through school, FI is 26, has a beautiful little girl who'll be 6 in December from a previous relationship, was never married.
Anyone I've talked to in my family is so very happy that I've found someone who treats me like they should, and supports me like my family does.
WE are paying for it ourselves, have a guest list of about 100 people, his aunt wants to throw a shower for us, and in reading all the etiquette stuff....it makes me feel like I can't do a lot of the big stuff because it's not 'proper' since I'm a second time bride...
I definately don't feel like a second time bride and also definately learned my lessons the first time around. FI wants to 'erase' my past (figure of speech, just wants to make our present and future that much better) and I feel that he should get to experience everything that a wedding involves. My family and friends are very supportive and giving, and I'm certainly NOT expecting anything from my side (or his side really for that matter) I would love it if everyone from my side came to celebrate with us.
I guess the point of this post is just to vent....and ask is the etiquette still followed? and in my case should I even though I feel it doesn't apply? 
Thanks ladies!
Appreciate the time to read 