Second Weddings

aisle?

okay so first im going to say i cant spell so aisle or isle...idk...

anyways...

my fi wants we to have someone walk me down the isle. Its very important to him. frankly i kinda would rather it be him but as stated to me by my moh "it would rob him of his moment of seeing me walk down the isle." she is right this is something he would want...

he doesnt ask for much so i want to give him anything he asks for. I have no father. My grandfather (who was very much my father) died when i was about 10. my adopted mother has no husband etc...

who can walk me down? what does tradition say and is this a  tradition i can break?

Re: aisle?

  • morrisonFTWmorrisonFTW
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    As long as it's someone special to you, it doesn't matter who it is.  My brother walked me down the aisle (and yup, it's aisle!) at my first wedding.  If it were important to my FI that I walk down the aisle, I suppose I'd probably ask my brother to do it again. 
  • handfast4mehandfast4me
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011

    Hey, lots of people don't spell aisle correctly--it can be a tough one, and at least you've admitted that you're unsure of which way is correct.  So, an aisle is in a church, and an isle is an island.  (starts with "I" for island is an easy way to remember it.)

    There are lots of ladies here who have done this all different ways--have walked down alone, or had their son walk them, the couple walked in together, etc.  DH and I didn't have an aisle, because we were on an isle :-)  in Key West--on the beach. 

    But any way you do this, you won't be "robbing" your future husband of the first site of you.  In practice, many couples have their formal portraits taken BEFORE the ceremony these days, so they don't hold up the reception for hours, and because the bride's make-up and hair will be fresh during that time.  What most couples do who have portraits done before their ceremony is that the groom keeps his back to the bride when she enters, then the photographer captures the moment he sees her, as well as the bride's "entrance."   

    Look on www.offbeatbrides.com for lots of examples of this.   

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  • calo1983calo1983
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    the problem is i sont have an appropriate male family member...

    my moh suggested asking her dad but it seems like it might be a bit akward and may offend my moh's brother(which would really not be good). I dont really feel close enough to my adopted mom but what about my gram? she is not blood related but knew my biological mother and my grandparents... 

    but i was told that it must be a guy who walks me...
  • edited December 2011
    It does not have to be a man. Your gram would be a great idea! 

    And there are no 'rules' - it really is just what feels right to you.
  • morrisonFTWmorrisonFTW
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    It does not have to be a man at all!!!!  The point (IMO) is to have someone special to you there with you.
  • edited December 2011
    For my first wedding, I really wanted my mom to give me away. She wouldn't, so my stepdad did.  

    This time I'm not sure if I'll walk myself or if my 4yo son will escort me.  Right now I'm leaning towards my son.  

    Handfast-thanks for the idea on how to capture that "first moment"  I had been wondering about that!  I kind of like that the first time FI sees  me all done up can be at our house rather than in the church (our venues are .1 miles apart with our house in the middle). :) 
  • vexievexie
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011

    Maybe you could do something like what we're planning...

    I'm going to start walking down the aisle (hehe.. I almost spelled it 'isle' too)  by myself, but then I'll stop half-way and my fiance will walk towards me... we'll then walk the rest of the way together.

    Just an idea...

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  • MerryNMathMerryNMath
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Calo....   If you really want someone to walk you down the aisle - and it's important to him that someone accompany you - my vote is for GRAM!  (And thanks for the idea - I may use my Nana!!!)   Brilliant! 
  • edited December 2011
    The person who walks you down should be a person who is of great importance to your life. A friend of mine got married and had her mother walk her down the aisle, because her mother was the most influential person in her life. Everyone thought it was very touching.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
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    edited December 2011
    ITA with many of the suggestions here.........the idea originated with the Dad doing it, as the patriarch of the family, "giving his daughter away" to her new life with her groom. When there is no "Dad", it has morphed into having the most influential person walk you down. In today's world, there is no expectation that it be a man.

    Hey, this is my first wedding, I'm in my mid 50's and have not lived at home with my parents for over 30 years. No one is "giving me away". Although my Dad is 80, he'll walk me down the aisle. I'd have both my parents do it (as is custom in many other cultures), but he sort of likes the tradition.

    Your Grandmother would be fine, and if she would like to do it, I think it's a very excellent idea.
  • edited December 2011
    It doesn't have to be a man!

    My parents were divorced and dad wasn't in our lives. Mom walked all of her girls down the aisle. Except me, who married at 53. I had my son escort me and she totally understood, my brother escorted her to her seat and my groom escorted his mother to her seat, it was very special!

    Do what feels good to you, as the other gals said you could walk alone if you want, or walk half way alone and have your groom meet you in the middle. Or you could have Gram walk you as well.

    There are many options! Best of luck to you and congrats!
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    My dad passed away 9 years ago, my mom walked my baby sister down the aisle when she got married in 2009, and she walked with me when I got married. 

    If you want to be escorted down the aisle then by all means ask Gram, and see if she is willing to do it.

    You have a lot of good suggestions here.
  • edited December 2011
    Hey, as far as "traditions" go, it's traditional for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to light the unity candles during the ceremony. But because I have a really turbulent relationship with my mom, we've agreed to have our surviving grandmothers light the candles instead, one from my side and one from FI's side. It all depends on who is most meaningful to you. Good luck! :)
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