Problem with the Ex wife

run262131

So I am sure somewhere and someone on here has had a similiar issue. I kinda need to vent and would like some advice. Together, my FI and I have 5 children. Its absolutely FANTASTIC and we would not change a single second of our wild, fun-filled, sometimes choatic life. The FI and his ex have joint custody as do myself and my ex. For the most part, things run quite smoothly. HOWEVER, this changed dramatically when the FI's ex realized he was 1. Happy 2. Happy without her 3. Getting remarried and 4. The children have adjusted well and that I LOVE her children completely. The FI and I live in a small town where everyone knows your name kinda thing. The divorce was ugly between the two of them and they battle lines were well drawn. Since we became engaged the ex and her group of friends have proceeded to send nasty emails, texts messages, and various other things to myself and FI. She is just being down right nasty. I have offered to meet with her for coffee and informed her I would not be interested in 'her side of the story" because the purpose was to insure a smooth transition for the children and to create an environment where we all worked together to benefit the kids. When I informed her that I didnt want to gossip about her ex she has since refused to meet. My FI is a very calm man and deals well with her behavior. I , however, do not tolerate childishness as well. And to be honest, I have behaved myself because the children do not need to be exposed to arguing and strain. The FI has asked her politely to stop her obnoxious behavior and she has not. Any advice?

run262131

Thank you so much!! I think I just needed someone to tell me it was OK to ignore her. And I especially like the idea of documenting everything because at this point, I really dont trust her at all. I am hoping she will eventually move on herself and get bored with us.

jjolovich

Thats what I hope too, she is wasting her life trying to ruin our life so i just ignore it. Which drives her up the wall, but eventually she will learn Good luck!! and Document EVERYTHING. Happy planning

jjolovich

Funny thing, your story sounds just about like my story. Except his ex refuses to talk to me period, but play childish games when it comes to the kids. She doesnt even want her kids around me, she even pulled her oldest daughter(who isn't my finaces child) out of his home. But his youngest absolutley loves me. And wishes she could stay with us full time.
 
Any who... my advice to you would be to document everything!! Let her dig herself a hole to where if it comes time you have proof of how she and her friends treated you. Sure it may work itself out in the end, but if she says anything happend that you started, you have proof of it all. They think that there ex can't be happy without them in there lives when really they have moved on and found a heck of alot better women in my opinion. The other thing i would do is ignore it, because that will eventually make her so mad and bored with the whole thing that she isn't getting your attention from it. You could possibly try to get a restraining order against her, but that may be going too far.

Sorry if im not much help, but i've just learned to ignore her!

Sue-n-Kevin

I agree with the above, but I would also change my email address and notify everyone BUT her about it. Let him deal with it, even though you are  a couple and should share family issues, you don't have to accept HER issues with YOU.

If it's inconvenient to change your email address, make a "HER" file, and just move them in there without reading them. It's much less aggravation.

And: stay off Facebook.

Jealousy is a terrible thing.

run262131

Thank you Sue and you are very right. My main email will be changed  and you are so very right jealousy is a terrible thing. We are just praying it all dies down quickly especially because of the children.

RichNicci4211122

My FI & have been going through a very similar problem with his 2nd wife.  Just as your situation they had a nasty divorce and she blames everything on us.  He has 3 children from his 1st wife who we don't hear from unless it has something to do with the children, and they have a very good relationship.  The 2nd wife and FI have 1 daughter together.  She fills their daughter's head with all kinds of nonsense.  Like your husband he deals very well with the childish games, but I do not.  I have sent all of her phone calls directly to voicemail and then save them.  Eventually I will have enough of them to show a pattern of harassment.  At that time I may file charges against her.  I don't do anything to provoke her odd behavior, she just can't get the idea that her ex and my FI are happy and so are all of the children.