Moms and Maids

Help with Matron of Honor!!!

I"m getting married next Oct and I will be 29. My bridesmaids range in age from 18 to 32 and my Matron of Honor will be 46 we have been the best of friends for the last 4 years and she was the only person I wanted to ask to be my matron of honor when I first got engaged. When I asked her she said yes and she was honored to do it, but now she is kinda backing out. she feels like shes to old and all the bridesmaids dresses are to young for he and she's worried she'll be an eyesore . I understand her point and to me it sounds like she really doesnt want to do it because she feels uncomfortable but then she tells me if I really want her to be the MOH then she'll swallow her pride and do it. I just dont know what to do. I'm a little hurt because I feel like she really doesnt want to do it now. I just would like some advice on how I should handle the situation. Please help!!

Re: Help with Matron of Honor!!!

  • She doesn't have to wear the same dress that the bms are wearing. Let her pick a dress that she feels comfortable wearing in the same or a complementary color.
                       
  • If she is uncomfortable with being in the bridal party, you can always give her another honorable spot in the wedding, like being a reader or if she sings, a vocalist.  She can still be a special part of your day without being your MOH. 
  • Yes I thought of that but she told me she will do it if I want her to I just need to tell her thats what I want and I told her if I didnt want her in it I wouldnt have asked her.. its really hard cause one minute shes telling me she wants to be the MOH the next minute shes telling me shes not sure.. I just dont know what to do I feel like she wants me to give her the way out... I just dont know for sure and how to do it



    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_help-with-matron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:06134009-1eab-4091-827e-7d78fb6f1fadPost:813936a6-aa71-49d7-94b5-c7ae95ac6e98">Re: Help with Matron of Honor!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she is uncomfortable with being in the bridal party, you can always give her another honorable spot in the wedding, like being a reader or if she sings, a vocalist.  She can still be a special part of your day without being your MOH. 
    Posted by shine882007[/QUOTE]
  • I told her that but she's worried that she will look horrible because she likes the mother of the bride dresses.. I told her it didnt matter to me what she wore.. she's my best friend and I would like for her to be apart of my specail day.. I'm open to all options but I feel like she wants me to give her an out and I dont know how to do that


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_help-with-matron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:06134009-1eab-4091-827e-7d78fb6f1fadPost:327776f2-fc57-4fba-ad8e-568876c2ff5b">Re: Help with Matron of Honor!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]She doesn't have to wear the same dress that the bms are wearing. Let her pick a dress that she feels comfortable wearing in the same or a complementary color.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]
  • You have a year to go, if your bio is correct. Just tell her she's your best friend and it means the world to you to have her as your MOH. You've given her options to make her feel comfortable. Ask her to let you know if there is anything else you can do. Your friend sounds very insecure.

    If she ends up dropping out, on her own, be gracious about it. But don't offer her an out - that could come across as you are kicking her out.
                       
  • Since there is such a large range of ages in your wedding party, definitely have them all wear different dresses so they can pick something that is suited to their tastes (the 18 year old will simply not want to wear what your MOH is wearing, and vice versa). Davids Bridal and other designers have LOADS of colors and styles that you can mix and match so that it still looks coordinated and everyone is still comfortable.
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