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Mother-in-law! Help!

brooke93086brooke93086 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I just need some other brides opinions on this one.  The mother of the groom just expressed her feelings about her mother of the groom dress and she would like to be IVORY.  I am wearing white.  I don't think that the mother of the groom should be wearing a shade of white.  What do you think?  I need some tips on this one.  I really don't want her wearing a shade of white, am I just thinking to much into this?  HELP!
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Re: Mother-in-law! Help!

  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My (now x-MIL) MIL tried to wear white to my first wedding.  I let her son handle it. I told him in no uncertain terms that it was rude and inappropriate for her to wear any shade of white, and he was to convey that to her.  Of course, this was in 1985, so things were a little different then.  She ended up in the same color as my mom.  ARGH!!!!  However, if the woman insists on wearing white, it will be no reflection on you, she will look like the idiot. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • janalawtonjanalawton
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think the mother of the groom should wear any shade of white!  I am taking my future daughter-in-law with me to shop for my dress just so I avoid any conflict.  Maybe you could ask to go along on her shopping trip.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Could be be an outfit that is part ivory and maybe part another color-maybe a print?That would be the only way I would find wearing ivory to a wedding acceptable unless you are the bride.The unfortunate part is that you don't have the right to tell adults what to wear so if she wants to wear ivory there isn't much you can do.  Take comfort in the fact that everyone will still know you are the bride and she's the one that will look like a rude/tacky moron.
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ivory or beige??? I know at least a few years ago the traditional MOG role was to"show up shut up, and wear beige." Now this is fine but outdated. Why not tell her how lovely she looks in blue/gree/gold/puce/ect and how you think that she would look great in that color for the wedding and see if she runs with it. But a lot of mogs still feel that they are supposed to wear beige
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  • green beangreen bean
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    just tell her the truth , you dont feel comfortable with her wearing Ivory to your wedding suggest a shopping trip and help her pick somthing else out, its your wedding and since she mentioned it she probley wants your input, unless you have a really bad relationship with her,
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • MOBinFL2008MOBinFL2008
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was totally surprised a few years ago when my good friend chose to wear an ivory colored gown to her son's wedding. I never would have expected her to do that.  But then I wouldn't expect anyone other than the bride to wear white/ivory.  To make matters worse...every other female at the wedding, including the MOB and all of the BM's, wore black (it wasn't planned at all).  It just ended up looking very weird with the Bride and the MOG both in ivory and everyone else in black! FWIW, I don't think it bothered the bride at all.  She's very laid back and has a great relationship with her MIL.
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  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    no one is going to confuse the mother of the groom with the bride!let her do whatever...no comparing a 50 yr old and 20 something!
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  • ck9586ck9586
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Great suggestion about telling her how good she looks in (insert color here)....and then ask her to go shopping with you. Lunch too? Unless of course you can't stand her--- Then, either get your FI to talk to her, or let it go. Also agree that no way ANYONE will get it confused, and if anything's going to be said it will be... "Can you believe his mom wore ivory? What the *&%# is wrong with her?" Have a beautiful wedding...ignore other people's clothes. You've got bigger issues to deal with!
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  • brooke93086brooke93086 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks to all who replied!  It helped a lot.  I did make the decision to let it go, because if it makes anyone look stupid, it would be her.  Thanks again for all your support.
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  • TruchanaTruchana member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My friends step mom wore ivory to her wedding.  It looked awful and tasteless and people were talking about it. It's one of those things that people will notice and comment on, but it will make her look dumb, not you.  If anything, I would also have the groom make mention that, You can't wear white to a wedding!! or something like that.
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