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Moms and Maids

Long Distance Bridal Shower

My dilemna:   The bride's family live in the NJ/NY area & the wedding is in NJ.  The grooms family lives in Massachusetts & Ohio.The engaged couple are living in Houston.With regards to the bridal shower, I'm not sure how to handle it.  Have a party and ask the guests to order from the registry and have it delivered to Houston?Has anyone ever done this?  Any suggestions.Thanks. 

Re: Long Distance Bridal Shower

  • banana468banana468
    10000 Comments Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    The best thing is to come up with a plan to get the gifts back to the couple.  Many stores have great return policies so if the bride must, she can return the gifts in the shower area and buy them when she returns to Houston.  Or she can look into shipping rates for ways to get the gifts to her location.  I'd look into ways where the shipping can be grouped together so the cost stays low.  It's not fair to the guests to ask them to attend a shower where they'll have to incur more expenses and where no presents will be opened though.
    Thenimage Nowimage
  • NotNumbersNotNumbers
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I remember a while back reading about a knottie who had a long distance shower, but can't remember who it was.  The shower was in the host's home town and they set up a skype call.  That way the bride could interact with the guests for a while.  I think maybe they also opened the presents for her so she could make the appropriate noises???  May be wrong on that, though. A long distance shower is never a great idea, IMO, but if you have to have one it seems only fair to the guests to have some sort of interaction with the bride.
  • kmmssgkmmssg
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited December 2011
    My DD lives in Salt Lake City, both families are in MI and her shower was in MI.  She knew that accepting the gift of a shower meant accepting the responsibility of getting her gifts back to Utah.  We were all in agreement that there would be no requests to ship their gifts for them.  People come to a shower and expect the bride to open their gifts as well as the others.  It seems rude to me to host a shower and ask everyone to ship the gifts.  Immediately following both showers, SIL took the gifts to Kinkos/FedEx and shipped them home.  It was their responsibility to get the gifts home since they accepted the gifts of the showers. Someone posted in the last couple of weeks that Bed Bath and Beyond would ship the gifts for the couple after the shower (of course only things bought at BBB).  You might want to check into that.
  • trix1223trix1223
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    ditto kmm's excellent advice.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Kristin789Kristin789
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ditto kmm.>>Have a party and ask the guests to order from the registry and have it delivered to Houston?No.If it's a wedding shower, the guests MAY purchase from the registry - but you don't ASK them to. The guests MAY choose to purchase something not on the registry.If it's a bridal shower, the guests will NOT be buying from the registry as the gifts are for the bride only - so you would not ask for registry purchases in that case either.And NO, you do not ask the guests to have their gift delivered anywhere. The guests will personally deliver their gifts TO THE SHOWER in New Jersey. Traditionally, the gifts are displayed in the home of the bride's parents (see the movie "Father of the Bride"), and after the wedding, the bride's parents ship the shower gifts and the wedding gifts to wherever the newlyweds are living.
  • trix1223trix1223
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    Kristin, the original FOB movie was made in 1950.  So you advice using the movie as a reference was spot on.....except that it's now 60 years later.Traditionally, the gifts are displayed in the home of the bride's parents (see the movie "Father of the Bride"), and after the wedding, the bride's parents ship the shower gifts and the wedding gifts to wherever the newlyweds are living. I don't know anyone, ever, including my own wedding 31 years ago where shower and wedding gifts were put "on display" at the bride's parents' home and then shipped, at the parents' expense to the bride's new home.Please, try to move into the 21st century.  It's quite nice here.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    The bride has the horrible burden or transporting the lovely gifts her friends and family give her back home. If that burden is too much skip the shower  
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp's that it is the bride's responsibility to ship her shower gifts home. In my experience, some of my shower guests brought their gifts to the shower and others purchased off of the registy and had the gift shipped to my home. In this case, the guests included a picture of the gift with a card to be opened at the shower. Those guests that brought their gifts to the shower usually brought less heavy items. My shower guests were really thoughtful both with all of their gifts and thinking of me having to ship items home. Your shower hostess could offer some options to the guests if she feels comfortable doing so. Hope this helps.
  • Kristin789Kristin789
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    >>Kristin, the original FOB movie was made in 1950. So you advice using the movie as a reference was spot on.....except that it's now 60 years later. I've never seen the original FOB. The Steve Martin remake was made in 1991, which is 18 years ago. >>I don't know anyone, ever, including my own wedding 31 years ago where shower and wedding gifts were put "on display" at the bride's parents' home and then shipped, at the parents' expense to the bride's new home. >>Please, try to move into the 21st century. It's quite nice here. Well, if your wedding had been in the south or if you regularly attended weddings in the south, you would realize that, in at least one region of the country, this kind of gift display still happens. Yeah - in the 21st century.
  • simplyceesimplycee
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Similar situation here. Bride's family and wedding in NJ. Groom's family in DE. Bride and groom live in NC. Shower will be in NJ. I will fly my daughter up here that weekend (and her BP is planning the bachelorette party the same weekend). Gift givers can choose to either bring their gifts to the shower or have them sent to NC. When my own niece got married, she lived in CA but her shower was in NJ. My gift to her was a microwave oven, that I purchased online and had sent to her home in CA. Made no sense to me to pay to ship it to NJ, to only have to turn around and have it shipped to CA. Also, after the wedding, my daughter and her husband will be renting a U-Haul. They just bought a home and have boxes of items (NWR) stored at both sets of parents' houses, as well as a piano they need to get to NC. At that time, they'll also transport any gifts received from the shower and wedding.
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