FMIL keeps buggin me about my dress

CowgirlK39

About a month or so ago, my FMIL suddenly went on some tirade that I never showed her a pic of my dress. I was confused, and told her I showed her a pic on my phone on 2 or 3 different occasions. She claims she never saw it, and was upset that I had shown the pic to some family friends but "never" showed her. I even told her a specific occasion when I distinctly recall showing her and she claims I didnt.

So to smooth it over, I brought her with me, my mom, my MOH and FSIL to go pick my dress up when it came in. I put it on for the first time and she was totally unphased. She was in la-la land and just said "oh yeah thats pretty." Then she and my FSIL (who is getting married a month before us) went and looked at dresses, which I told them was fine. I was working on my stuff with my mom and MOH and she was helping FSIL with dresses. No problems there.

But once again, this past weekend, she hit me with "remember when you didn't show me a pic of your dress?" I could have gone thru the roof. She keeps holding it against me that she didn't see a picture earlier, nevermind the fact she saw the REAL THING IN PERSON. I don't know what to say to her anymore when she brings this up. My FI tends to get really sarcastic and she gets upset with him when he calls her out on things like this, so I have been keeping him out of it, but i dont know how much more I can take. It makes me feel like crap when she points that out but its just NOT true!

Suggestions???

russell82012

Just tell her she's lucky she got to see it at all. I've kept mine a secret from his entire side of the family because I want it to be a surprise. I've gotten the "I'm so left out" and "I wish I could be there when you went shopping." Truth is, I wouldn't have invited her anyways. My sister and I both think that the dress shopping and fitting is a thing for the maids and mom/grandma on the bride side. It's *your* day. And you did her a favor showing it to her, period. She can leave her pity party at the door. Next time she asks, tell her she can see it on your wedding day with everyone else; since she was so underwhelmed by it before. 

graysquirrel

Since she is being so weird about it, I think that it is time to get your FI to bat for you. If he is around when she brings it up, he could say something like, "Hey, you got to see it in person, even better!" or "I remember her showing it to you, Mom." It is never good to start off with frazzled relations between the bride and FMIL-- as your future husband your FI should be willing to liaise between you. 

 If she gets pissy with you, I might say something along the lines of "well, I do distinctly remember showing it to you at so-and-so's house, I'm sorry if you don't remember it" and then bean-dip it-- change the subject and move on. 

RaptorSLH

Sounds like she's playing head-games to gain leverage.  The only way to win that kind of game is not to play.  I would refuse to aknowledge her guilt trips, and bean dip that conversation when it comes up.  Or tell her that she has seen the dress, in both pictures and in person, and if she wants to be in on any further wedding news, she'll stop the act now.

I'm also afraid it's time to bring in your FI.  It may not change her behavior, but you shouldn't be facing this alone, espeically since it's coming from his side.

ElisabethJoanne

I agree with PPs. Say, "We've already had this conversation. I'm not going to discuss it again." Then walk away or change the subject.

em01092

Ditto PPs. Don't be afaid to get your FI in on this. He needs to stand up for you. 

OliveOilsMom

Next time she says "remember you didn't show me a picture of the dress"  just give her the retort, "yeah, remember when I let you see my dress in person with it on me".  Then turn and walk away.  I think she's trying to assert some sort of guilt trip on your or something.  Don't give in. . .

simplestlife

You can't have rational conversations with crazy people. I would probably say something like, "Is there a reason you're bringing this up for the umpteenth time? Because I'm kinda over it." Then walk away.