Moms and Maids

Future inlaw woes...

Completely new to this and typing in the go so sry if this belongs somewhere else. Quick summary of the issue is I'm Protestant, he switched to the Protestant church a while ago and before we ever met and they're do or die Orthodox. They cant stand were marrying protestant and now I'm to blame for just about everything going on with thier deteriorating relationship with Fiance. His sister seems jealous of how clise we are ? which completely has me at a loss for what to do. They were definitely close but strains between him and his parents have also strained thier relationship. She actually got married in May of this year, shortly after we started dating. were two months engaged Hes been giving then thier space which should be normal enough but i think unfortunately shes lumped it into why she feels im taking him away from the fam. Anyway, today was the worst family fight to date. It included FMIL swearing she will not be attending the wedding.
They also set up a surprise supper with their Priest which fiance and i didnt appreciate much. We were polite and all but it seems the priest has told them theres no hope of me baptising Orthodox any time soon which thier isnt and he told over the phone he didnt approve of our marriage, it was wrong and wouldnt work out :o/
Help us please!!
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Re: Future inlaw woes...

  • All you and your FI can do is stand your ground. Religion is always a hot topic for most people so as long as both you and your FI strongly believe in your faith then don't let them guilt you into converting.

    It's important that both you and your FI are on the same page about this.

    Remember that with money comes strings. If they offer any amount of money towards the wedding, chances are they will want some type of control. Pay for the wedding that both you and your FI can afford and send them an invitation. If they threaten not to come, call their bluff and tell them they will be missed.
  • This is your FI's problem not yours.  HE is the ONLY one who needs to sit his parents down, explain that he left the Orthodox church for his own reasons and to blame you is pointless and unfair.  He also needs to tell them in no uncertain terms that they can drop their objections right now and be fully accepting of you as his (future) wife or there will be repurcussions (like not seeing him or any grandchildren). 

    Which Orthodox church is his btw?  Our Greek Orthodox priest has never said a word about me not converting to Orthodoxy (which is never going to happen and isn't required to be married in the church) nor has he ever said anything about us not being married in the Greek Orthodox church.  The whole scenario you described is just strange.
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  • edited October 2012
    To what Protestant sect do you belong? If you've been baptized Anglican, Lutheran, or the like, you can get married in an Orthodox church without having to be baptised into Orthodoxy. If you're an evangelical Protestant, you're out of luck. (I had this issue with my MOH - she couldn't be my church witness because she's evangelical).

  • I agree with GLB.  Your FI needs to sit down with his parents alone and let them know he has left their church of his own choice and it has nothing to do with you.  Then (with no pun intended) he needs to have a come to Jesus meeting with them about heir passive aggressive crap with inviting the priest for dinner and he needs to let them know you will both walk out if they try anything else like that to manipulate you.

    This may very well be the picture of how they will be in your lives.  It might do well for you and FI to consider premarital counseling targeting their relationship.  It sounds like he is firmly in your corner, which is great, but his relationship with his family is on the line here and it might be good to have some professional help in setting a plan to deal with them.
  • I agree with GLB. I find it hard to believe that the priest told his parents that he didn't approve of the marriage. Don't believe second and third hand news, ever.

    Hasn't your fi told his parents that he has joined another church? It's time for him to set them straight.

                       
  • No he and my parents are paying for the wedding and I havent said anything despite them trying to corner me all the time, and definitely dont plan on saying anything :o
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  • I'm Baptist. His family is Coptic Orthodox.
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  • the priest old both his parents and my fiance himself that he doesnt approve. He then told my fiance he wasnt a man for not insisting i get baptized and marry Orthodox and that our marriage would fail.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_future-inlaw-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:1ae626d3-1129-47b7-b2ab-d6ff6e65a118Post:e1f2e93a-1c70-4263-9ca6-9189a5e88ddd">Re:Future inlaw woes...</a>:
    [QUOTE]the priest old both his parents and my fiance himself that he doesnt approve. He then told my fiance he wasnt a man for not insisting i get baptized and marry Orthodox and that our marriage would fail.
    Posted by futuremrsmina797[/QUOTE]

    That alone would be enough to send me out of the church doors.   One more question, how old is this priest???
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Late sixties may be? Hard to tell because hes fully bearded and all...
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