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MOG dress help

So my fiances step-mother has said that she is going to wear her "wedding" dress to our wedding, granted its a pink skirt suit but still... It's over 20 years old and it's her "wedding" dress. Which she will make a point of telling everyone that she is wearing because it still fits after 20 years. So FI's sister tells her mom that she is not wearing that to our wedding, gotta love her, and response is that we (sister and I) need to find her something to wear then because she isn't going to go shopping for anything, and there are rules to what we can get her...no sparkles, no green (our colors are green and copper), no low neck lines, no tanks must have sleeves, nothing short.

So my question to you all is, where can I find some simple MOG dresses to appease all these rules that are not expensive, we are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves.
Everything I have found so far, doesn't fit within the rules...uggh!  We have 4 months to find this.

Thanks

Re: MOG dress help

  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to MOG dress help:
    So my fiances step-mother has said that she is going to wear her "wedding" dress to our wedding, granted its a pink skirt suit but still... It's over 20 years old and it's her "wedding" dress. Which she will make a point of telling everyone that she is wearing because it still fits after 20 years. So FI's sister tells her mom that she is not wearing that to our wedding, gotta love her, and response is that we (sister and I) need to find her something to wear then because she isn't going to go shopping for anything, and there are rules to what we can get her...no sparkles, no green (our colors are green and copper), no low neck lines, no tanks must have sleeves, nothing short. So my question to you all is, where can I find some simple MOG dresses to appease all these rules that are not expensive, we are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves. Everything I have found so far, doesn't fit within the rules...uggh!  We have 4 months to find this. Thanks
    Posted by jroark8
    Stop looking, and let her wear what she wanted to.  Who cares if it's what she wore for her wedding as long as it's not a bridal gown.  And even if it is 20 years old and people choose to comment on it, or the fact that it's her wedding outfit, that has no bearing or reflection on you and your FI.  Your FMIL is a grown woman and can wear what she wants.

    If you are going to insist on getting her something new, she does not need to match the WP at all.  I'm kind of assuming you want her to since she said no green and you mentioned that was one of your colors.  She is not in the WP and doesn't need to coordinate with them.
    image BabyFruit Ticker
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak
    10000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    No one but you is going to know that it's technically a wedding dress, and frankly, if you're concerned about that on your wedding day, your priorities are seriously out of whack.  MOG gets to wear whatever she wants, it's out of line to give her any "rules" whatsoever.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • vicki0508vicki0508
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    You have created this problem for no reason.  Just let her wear the pink suit.  It obviously makes her happy, and good for her for still being able to fit in it. 

    Who cares if she tells people it was her wedding dress?  People at your wedding are allowed to talk about other things besides you and your wedding.  You'll still have plenty of attention focused on you.

    Macys has lots of long dresses.  You can always get something sleeveless and also get a cardigan to go with it.  You could also check out traditional MOB/MOG dresses at Davids Bridal or other bridal salons.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to MOG dress help:
    So my fiances step-mother has said that she is going to wear her "wedding" dress to our wedding, granted its a pink skirt suit but still... It's over 20 years old and it's her "wedding" dress. Which she will make a point of telling everyone that she is wearing because it still fits after 20 years. So FI's sister tells her mom that she is not wearing that to our wedding, gotta love her, and response is that we (sister and I) need to find her something to wear then because she isn't going to go shopping for anything, and there are rules to what we can get her...no sparkles, no green (our colors are green and copper), no low neck lines, no tanks must have sleeves, nothing short. So my question to you all is, where can I find some simple MOG dresses to appease all these rules that are not expensive, we are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves. Everything I have found so far, doesn't fit within the rules...uggh!  We have 4 months to find this. Thanks
    Posted by jroark8

    Then stop putting so many "rules" on her dress, not only is it unneceesary it is down right rude. Have her daughter take her to a department store and let her find something she feels beautiful in. Once again STOP with the RULES, you have no say in what she can and can not wear.

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to MOG dress help:
    So my fiances step-mother has said that she is going to wear her "wedding" dress to our wedding, granted its a pink skirt suit but still... It's over 20 years old and it's her "wedding" dress. Which she will make a point of telling everyone that she is wearing because it still fits after 20 years. So FI's sister tells her mom that she is not wearing that to our wedding, gotta love her, and response is that we (sister and I) need to find her something to wear then because she isn't going to go shopping for anything, and there are rules to what we can get her...no sparkles, no green (our colors are green and copper), no low neck lines, no tanks must have sleeves, nothing short.So my question to you all is, where can I find some simple MOG dresses to appease all these rules that are not expensive, we are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves. Everything I have found so far, doesn't fit within the rules...uggh!  We have 4 months to find this. Thanks
    Posted by jroark8
    Are these her rules or yours?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    282image Invited to celebrate!
    208image Will be Dancing the night away!
    74image Won't be having any fun
    0image are giving me a major headache

  • McKenna2012McKenna2012
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Eh, this is one of those things that won't even matter to you later. Just let it go.

    ETA: Girls, I believe the rules she mentioned were the mom's rules, not hers.  At least that's how I read it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Photobucket
  • edited December 2011
    If she was planning to wear a long white wedding dress to your wedding, I would understand your objection. But a pink suit? Are you wearing a pink suit? You should apologize to her and tell her to wear whatever she likes.

    image

  • trix1223trix1223
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: MOG dress help:
    If she was planning to wear a long white wedding dress to your wedding, I would understand your objection. But a pink suit? Are you wearing a pink suit? You should apologize to her and tell her to wear whatever she likes.
    Posted by MairePoppy

    ^^This^^ is soooo smart. OP:  you owe your FMIL an apology for getting wrapped up in MY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mentality.  The only answer you should have given your FMIL when she mentioned this was: "I'm sure you'll look beautiful".

    Someone in this scenario is wrong.  HINT:  It's not your FMIL.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Ok let me clarify a few things:
    I haven't said anything to her about the dress, her daughter my future sister in law did.
    The rules were her rules, not mine. I don't care what color she wears.
    She WON'T go shopping, as in refuses to do so, which is the whole reason she decided to wear a 20 year old dress.
    The dress is not in good condition according to my FSIL, moth holes, faded, etc.
    I've looked at Davids, Macys, Nordstroms, penneys, Dillards, etc and am having a hard time finding something that fits HER rules.


  • vicki0508vicki0508
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: MOG dress help:
    Ok let me clarify a few things: I haven't said anything to her about the dress, her daughter my future sister in law did. The rules were her rules, not mine. I don't care what color she wears. She WON'T go shopping, as in refuses to do so, which is the whole reason she decided to wear a 20 year old dress. The dress is not in good condition according to my FSIL, moth holes, faded, etc. I've looked at Davids, Macys, Nordstroms, penneys, Dillards, etc and am having a hard time finding something that fits HER rules.
    Posted by jroark8
    If FSIL is the one who cares so much about what her mom wears, then FSIL can be in charge of finding her a new outfit. You should tell FSIL that you don't care what FMIL wears.  However this progresses, you shouldn't be involved with it.
  • MobKazMobKaz
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Perhaps the FMIL instituted all the "rules" in the hopes that her daughter, out of sheer frustration and exhaustion in trying to find a dress within those parameters, GIVES UP! 

    While I can understand that FSIL wants her mom to look a certain way for the wedding, my guess is that this behavior/attitude the FMIL displays is nothing new or shocking to anyone who knows her.

    With the possible exception of while she walks up the aisle, the issue of what FMIL wears will be a non-issue.  In only that one instance will all eyes be on her.
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you McKenna, Vicki, Mobkaz and Retread for actually reading and understanding what I wrote. I am staying out of this one as some of you suggested. I guess my FSIL is upset that her mom won't even make an effort to find something nice to wear and is afraid that this is a precursor to things that may happen when the time comes for her to get married.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: MOG dress help:
    Thank you McKenna, Vicki, Mobkaz and Retread for actually reading and understanding what I wrote. I am staying out of this one as some of you suggested. I guess my FSIL is upset that her mom won't even make an effort to find something nice to wear and is afraid that this is a precursor to things that may happen when the time comes for her to get married.
    Posted by jroark8
    I did read your OP and you made no indication that the "rules" being enforced for the dress was ones made by your FSIL, if you would have indicated that in your OP my advice would be directed to your FSIL for telling her to stop with the rules. But like the others have said, stay out of it is the best course of action. If FSIL asks you to intervene say, "no, I just want FMIL to find something she feels comfortable and beautiful in, she can choose whatever she likes."
  • trix1223trix1223
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: MOG dress help:
    Thank you McKenna, Vicki, Mobkaz and Retread for actually reading and understanding what I wrote. I am staying out of this one as some of you suggested. I guess my FSIL is upset that her mom won't even make an effort to find something nice to wear and is afraid that this is a precursor to things that may happen when the time comes for her to get married.
    Posted by jroark8
    Dear heart, I read what you wrote.  Can you show me exactly where it said that the rules were your FSIL's?  Hint:  you can't because you didn't say that.  We're not mind readers here, and people will comment on exactly what you write, not what you meant to write.

    The advice that you were given was universally good, and that was to not start your married life as "that" DIL.  Because whether it was your FSIL's rules or not, you made yourself abundantly clear about how you feel about FMIL's attire choice as well.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    ditto Trix.
    Besides that, your follow up posts don't change a thing. You should tell fmil to wear whatever she likes.

    image

  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    My BF's mother wore a skin colored spaghetti-strapped silk sheath to her daughter's wedding a few years ago - it looked like she was naked!  And she apparently was "droppin it like it's hot" on the dance floor.  And if she wears the same dress the day when I marry her son, I honestly wouldn't care.  It won't reflect on me one bit.

    I do get why this is stressful - perhaps buy her a few outfits and bring them to her home so she can try them on, and you can return the ones she doesn't like?  We did this for my grandmother who hates going into stores.

    image

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