MOH thinks she is special...

mrsjoesmith

Ok, so I have a maid of honor that has yet to get her dress. When I picked out my maids dresses she wanted something different then the other girls. even though she is not the only moh so anyways, I have a feeling she is stalling because she thinks once it's too late to order I will let her pick something different. That's not going to happen. How can I tell her without being rude that there is no plan b? She doesn't have the dress, she doesn't walk? Ps. She has know which dress since Nov. So she has had plenty of time to get it.

nda8414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-thinks-she-is-special?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:436743ee-ebd1-43f2-a89c-dfcd8385e809Post:8fb8116b-97bd-4e03-b207-c09619ba9a17">MOH thinks she is special...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so I have a maid of honor that has yet to get her dress. When I picked out my maids dresses she wanted something different then the other girls. even though she is not the only moh so anyways, I have a feeling she is stalling because she thinks once it's too late to order I will let her pick something different. That's not going to happen. How can I tell her without being rude that there is no plan b? She doesn't have the dress, she doesn't walk? Ps. She has know which dress since Nov. So she has had plenty of time to get it.
Posted by mrsjoesmith[/QUOTE]

Is it the end of the world if she wears a different dress in the same color?

Who is paying for the dress? That could also be the reason that she's not ordering...bridesmaid dresses are typically pretty expensive.  If so, can you offer to pay/help pay? She could also be waiting because she thinks she may gain/lose weight before the wedding.  Have you asked her why?

mrsjoesmith

I didn't not expect them to buy them in November. They take 6 weeks to come in, so knowing they were slightly spendy I wanted to give my maids the time to gather up the funds. I did ask all my maids their budget and came in 50 under because I know how frustrating spending a boat load of money on a dress can be. She is the one who helped me pick out the dress and lived it at the time. Since then she has told me she wants to stand out and wear something different and in a different color. I love her deary and would be sad to not have her as part of my day, but she always has to be the center of attention and on this day I would just like that role for once. So maybe I am being slightly bridezillay totally made that word up! Lol. But maybe I will just leave it as is. I was just looking for advice as to tell her I am serious about wanting all my girls in the same thing.

[Deleted User]

I'd just let her know that dresses need to be ordered by x date in order to get in in time for the wedding and allow her to be in the wedding party. If she gets it, she gets it. If she doesn't and calls you afterwards panicking because she "forgot" to get it in time, you have a choice: either accomodate her and let her get another dress or say "I'm so sorry you were unable to get the dress and be in my wedding party. I look forward to having you as a guest though."

mrsjoesmith

Vonclancy... That's perfect. Thank you! I will let her know the timeline and ride it out to see what happens.

mrsjoesmith

Retread... Thank you for your advice. However I don't appreciate being called childish. You don't know me, or the relationship that exsist between my MOH and I. I asked for advice of how to talk to her... Not for your opinions on my feelings. This should be a safe place to voice concerns and feelings, even if you don't agree with them. Give advice and move on with out bashing people along the way.

mrsjoesmith

Ok. Let me stop and back up... I certainly don't want to be one of those brides that gets advice and then shuts down because she doesnt like it! : after posting I realized I have plenty of time to see what happens. All the other girls have theirs already so I got nervous. Also they all gave me a budget of 150. The dress is 100, which I still think is spendy, even if it is inside someones budget. And Stage, thank you for putting my bridezilla everyone is being mean for not agreeing with me moment in check! Retread, sorry for lashing out! Thanks ladies for all the great advice. I am going to just chill out till May!

MrsMuq

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-thinks-she-is-special?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:436743ee-ebd1-43f2-a89c-dfcd8385e809Post:81e1b0a1-f23d-4c09-a7a8-a2d6e6a5453e">Re: MOH thinks she is special...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Perhaps she is waiting because forcing bridesmaids to buy dresses in November for a wedding in July is ridiculous.</strong>  She'd be out money NOW for a dress that woukd hang in her closet for months. She should get to it now, though.... Leave it alone.  She either gets the dress, or she doesn't.  If she doesn't, then she's taken herself out of the wedding party, and you proceed as if nothing has happened.  About the different dress - that's up to you.  Depends on how badly you want your friend beside you on that day.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

The bolded section - in my experience, no it isn't. In four years I've been in six weddings, and for every single one (and my own), BMs dresses had to be ordered at least 6 months in advance.