Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion
Options

help!

sarablejwassarablejwas member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
so i have a bit of a problem... now i love my furture mother-in-law but i dont know how to tell her i dont like some of her ideas without hurting her feelings. i love that everyone wants to be involved but in the end its adam and i's wedding i dont know what to do does anyone has a y advice???
Report Reply to Post

Re: help!

  • Options
    lalap69lalap69 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just say things like "thanks for the idea!  We'll consider it" or "thanks for the input, but we've already decided to do x".  Listen to her ideas, but you don't need to implement them all.
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
    Report Reply
  • Options
    eleonhardteleonhardt member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    My fiance and I had trouble with his mom from the start, all i can say is its your day, you make the decisions and stay happy the whole time.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with lalap.  I think it's the best way without hurting her feelings.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with lalap69. I am sure she will understand as long as you are nice and tactiful about it.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ChelseaBFHChelseaBFH
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also agree.  When we first got engaged, my FMIL actually told me to say this to her whenever she got out of line!

    If her suggestions are TOTALLY off base, feel free to (gently) send her in the right direction "We want things to have a casual feel" if she starts talking about tuxes for the men, etc.  And share the plans you're making with her -- it'll make her feel included even without using her ideas, and it'll give her a much better sense of your tastes!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    torabeaarmytorabeaarmy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with lalap as well. Its a much easier way.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 150 Invited
    image 16 are ready to party! image 0 missing out image134 are slow strolling
    RSVP Date: April 29
    Report Reply
  • Options
    msalitmsalit member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Remember, she will be in your life from now on so you should learn to stand up to her sooner than later.  I always find that a response like one of the following works well: "That is a great idea but I don't think it is what I was looking for", "I really appreciate your advice but I think we are going in a different direction", etc.  As long as you are clear that you appreciate her help/advice/suggestions and are grateful for all she is done, she won't be upset that you have a different style than her.  MIL's just want to be included!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sarablejwassarablejwas member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    thanks everyone you all have great advice. im also starting to see that all of a sudden she is becoming very protective and over bearing im not sure what do to do im scarred to say anything to him about it because that is his mom and all but sometimes i just feel like she doesnt want him to get married because  then he isnt hers anyone i dunno should i say something?

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards