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MOH woes...

mkwood1mkwood1
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in Moms and Maids
I asked my best friend to be my Matron of Honor about 2 months ago. Last week she texted me and told me she was pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death and would do anything for her and am more than happy for her and her husband. But, I know that she really cannot afford (time or money) to really be a Matron of Honor. I am not in a possition to be able to buy all my maids' dresses and they know that. I want her to be my MOH but I want what's best for her. What's the best way to handle this? Anybody have a story from experience?
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Re: MOH woes...

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You shouldn't assume anything about your friend's finances. You've already asked her to be your MOH and can't unask her.

    You should ask each of your bms, privately, what their budget is for their dress. Work within the lowest figure. Buying the dress is their only required expense, so don't expect anything more from them.

    IMO, helping one person in need, with the purchase of a dress, doesn't obligate you to help all of them. If you decide to help her out, just keep it between the two of you.
                       
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She's an adult and can decide whether she has the time and money to be in your wedding.  The only thing she has to purchase is her dress.  Before deciding on dresses you should ask each of your BM what their budgets are and work within the lowest price.
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  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PPs, except that I'd feel bad helping one BM and not another. All of my BMs are struggling in one way or another, whether it's pregnancy costs, financial aid debt, underemployment, etc. I made sure to be considerate of their costs and situations as much as possible, but as PPs stated, don't assume what they can or cannot afford. 

    You should definitely ask your BMs their budget, or you can just tell them to get a black dress in a certain length, that way they can wear one they may already own or get one from just about any store. Some other colors might work for this too, but generally black is best unless you are super lax about colors not being exact or would like all different shades. 
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