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Fiance's parents don't want us to get married :(

I don't know what to do, my fiance's parents said they will not come to our wedding because we moved our date up. We only changed our date because we didn't want to wait two years to get married and it's before his sisters wedding. They are telling us it's not fair to her but its 3 months before hers. We really don't want to change our date and listen to them because they have been controlling for everything. We both feel that if we let them have their way and tell us when to get married that it will continue forever, when we can buy a house, have kids... everything. I just need some advice everyone I talk to is telling me to do what we want.

Re: Fiance's parents don't want us to get married :(

  • edited December 2011
    I'm confused. It doesn't souond like they are against you getting married, just they don't want you getting married before his sister. That is silly of them if so. Do they have other reasons why they want you to wait-for example, financial, schooling etc.?

    Do you really think that they wouldn't attend their son's wedding? This may be a call your bluff situation. Unless, of course, they are paying. That does change the ball game.
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  • edited December 2011
    No, they are not paying for the wedding. We both will be done with school but he wants to get his masters, so thats not the issue because they knew that we would be married before he would be done with that. His mom doesn't want me taking the "spotlight" off of his sister. But they really havent given us a reason as to why we can't.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited December 2011
    I don't understand what one wedding date has to do with the other, as long as there is some space between. Are there family members from their side that will have travel expenses in order to attend the two weddings? Your fi should talk to them alone about it to figure out what is going on.

    If you are financially independent of your parents, and paying for the wedding, then the decision is yours to make. Think carefully about what is important to you and make your decision based on that.

    Good luck.
                
  • slpankuchslpankuch
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Wow the parents seem really childish. If I were you I would let your FI handle the situation and make sure you back him up with his choice.
    It's not like your weddings are on the same day. Does this sister have a problem with it? If not, there might be an underlying reason that they are saying this.

    Sit down with your FI and come to a conclusion/thoughts why they are saying this. Have your FI do the talking but go with him to support when talking to his parents.

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  • tldhtldh
    2500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011

    What are your FI's feelings on this?

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  • edited December 2011
    What is your FI's sister's opinion on this?  Maybe her parents hare outraged for her, but she's actually not that bothered.  In that case, she'd be a powerful voice in this.
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  • nlindsay17nlindsay17
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    It sounds to me like your wedding was planned for two years out and now you are changing it so yours is before his sister's. If that is the case then that is probably what they are angry about. Even if you got engaged first it doesn't mean your wedding has to be first.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited December 2011
    When is his sister's wedding?  You should be able to get married whenever you want but for the sake of keeping peace with the family you are marrying into you should really reconsider. Is it really that important that you get married sooner rather than later?  Will it make that much of a difference?  You can still move your wedding date up, but keep it after his sister's wedding.

    I know this all sounds crazy, but people do go a little crazy when it comes to weddings...sometimes it is just easier to keep the peace.  This is not something that you should let ruin your relationship with his family.

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