Lost My Mother

eospassion

I needed some lady support tonight... I lost my mom to cancer in November (2 months ago), and it has been tough. She didn't want us to get married early because we believed she was getting better. Things turned bad too quickly... and now we are getting married this summer. I can't wait to marry the man of my dreams, and I know mom loved him too.

The wedding will be a way to start healing for our family. Something to look forward to while we are grieving. She was so special... a polished stone in a rock quarry. The sunshine on a cloudy day. We are going to honor my mother at the wedding.

Treasure the women in your lives everyone... You never know what can happen.

If you feel you must share or reply, please share a special story about you and a special woman in your life. I like pretty stories.

em01092

I am so sorry for your loss. Honoring your mother is a wonderful way to remember and cherish her memory. What do you plan to do? I'd just be sure whatever you choose to do does not overwhelm you and make you too sad! It will be an emotional day no matter what, but you just don't want to make it seem like more of a funeral than a wedding, you know?

My paternal grandmother is my mother figure and always has been. She was always around when I was a baby/toddler and then stepped up when my parents divorced when I was not even 2. I haven't seen my birth mom since I was 8, and my step"mom" is no mother to me, so I am very grateful to have my grandma in my life. Sometimes we fight, as any mom and daughter do, but then I remember that she is 79 years old, and I don't know how much time left we have. I feel guilty sometimes when I'm out with friends or on the computer, so lately I have made a point to be sure we get some "us" time, whether it's eating dinner, watching Wheel of Fortune, going to church, going shopping, or just hanging out. 

Chelpants

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the hurt you are experiencing.

I got married 2 weeks ago and I incorporated my grandmother into the ceremony in a few ways. For my something old, I wore one of her pins, an "L" (her initial) inside my dress. We also did a ribbon tying ritual in the ceremony that was so beautiful and we used one of the ribbons from her funeral flowers. It meant a lot to my mom and me that we could have something so special, the ritual and the ribbon meaning so much. Our Pastor also said a few words that it was my late Grandmothers ribbon which was really nice. I don't know if it interests you at all, but I can post the reading for the ribbon tying. You hold your fiances hand and the officiant lightly wraps the ribbon as you repeat some vows. It really is beautiful.

My mom is my best friend, she lived 8 hours away for the past 3 years and just moved back about 2 months before the wedding. I really agree with your post not to take anyone or time for granted. I see my mom almost every single day and I hate when I don't. ahhh I'm tearing up now. Your mom is looking over you and will be there with you on your wedding day. She's with you everyday.

eospassion

Thank you everyone! We are considering a few things for my mother. And I also want it to be a happy day. I miss her, and I know she would want it to be about us getting married. We have considered having a candle lit- held and protected by a votive. Or having a picture with me. But neither feel perfect...

My mother was a lover of pink- and that is an understatement. I think that since the flower in our wedding is red roses, we can use a pink rose here and there. I want to play some of her favorite happy songs too during the reception... it will make people smile.

My fiance and I are not too symbolic. And we don't have a ribbon-or anything from the memorial. We didn't think about that at the time...

Chelpants

I danced with my mom to 'mamas song' by carrie underwood. it is such a great song. I don't even like country music. Check it out if you aren't familliar with it.

xo

divadancer11

So sorry for your loss.... I know you asked for stories of special women however I have never met my father and my grandfather raised me as if I was his own. He has been gone for 10yrs and now that I am getting married I have had my ups and downs.....stay strong!!! One thing that I got out of watching the Kardashian wedding is how she made her late father a part of it. If you didn't see it....she took one of his old shirts and had a little heart shape cutout and had it stitch in the inside of her dress where her heart is. Unfortunately for me we don't have any shirts of my grandfather but my MOH took a puc of him and is screen printing it and that will be stitch in the inside of my dress. We are also placing roses in the spots where our grandparents would have been sitting. Keep your head up and like the PP stated; your mother will be with you always.

[Deleted User]

My grandmother passed two weeks prior to my cousin's wedding this April.  They laid a single white rose at what would have been her place in the church.  The groom's father made it a point to acknowledge and remember her in his toast (my uncle was too emotional to speak).

We will be leaving a vacant chair for her at my wedding and will be doing the same for my FI's mother and step-mother as well.

I am so sorry for your loss and I know that your mom will be watching over you on such a special day.

redpumps

I'm so sorry for your loss

I lost my mom 6 years ago, but one of the first thoughts I had afterwards was "My wedding!!!!"  I know a lot of girls must feel this way after realizing such an important person will be physically missing that day.

So far, we have plans to have a white potted orchid at the church in her memory (that way, I can also keep it at home with me for a while!) and I'll be putting something in the program about her, as well as some photos at the reception with the rest of my deceased family members.

I hope everyone can and will continue to post creative/interesting rememberance ideas here for those of us who have unfortunately gone through the same sad event.

To the original poster, I hope you find strength and comfort in your surviving friends and family that will be there to support you guys on your big day!!!

xoxo

Ali