Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid and baker?

So I'm officially a maid for my best friend who is getting married in about two years.  In addition to the BM duties, she has asked (ok, more informed) that since I am the member of our group who bakes, and bakes well, that I be the one to make her cake to keep costs managable.  So far we know that the wedding is going to be quite formal, Catholic ceremony, masquerade reception in a ballroom, estimated 200 people, and the thought of making the cake is stressing me out already.  I would really love to make it, it's just the sheer enormity of work that would go into a formal cake for 200 people plus the cost of materials (just finished one degree and plan on starting another within the next year, so finances are an issue) and the thought of last minute failure is stressing me out.  Is this something I should be able to learn enough about and practice enough given the long engagement to be able to pull off or would we be better off looking into a professional bakery?  

Re: Bridesmaid and baker?

  • I agree with Stage that your bride is overstepping big time by asking you to do something like this.  Talk to her now and explain your concerns. (I'd emphasize how badly you'd feel if something went wrong last minute.)

    If you want to, you could offer to help her research bakeries and other options.  A budget saver can be to get small tiered cake made (especially if you order through someplace like Costco) and then supplement with sheet cakes of the small flavor/icing combination.  You could also offer to attend tastings with her or to visit some the places with her as she gets quotes and makes a decision.

    Maybe, and this is just a thought, since it seems she likes your baking, you could offer to do a smaller shower or bachelorette party cake instead.  But that's not a requirement by any means; it could be your gift to her at those events.

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    Anniversary


  • Another one agreeing with stage also!  I'm a baker also but no WAY would I do a wedding cake if I was in the wedding.  Like you said, the cost is pretty high and the stress of making something THAT formal is high.  Agree to help reserch bakeries that can do this for her and call it quits on the matter. 

  • Wow.  Has she assigned another to do flowers and another to make her dress?  My God is she out of line.  Look, I love cooking and baking.  No way in hell would I ever attempt something on this scale.  Tell her that there is absolutely no way you are doing this and she needs to pry open that tightwad wallet of hers and pay a professional. Period.  End of discussion.  If she were ever to make any kind of comment about you not doing the cake, I would drop out of the wedding in a heartbeat.
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  • Ditto Stage.

    How is it that she can afford a formal masquerade ball reception, but she can't pay a professional wedding cake baker?

                       
  • Totally appropriate to say no thank you!  Plus, wedding is 2 years out and she's already making these kind of decisions is crazy on her part anyway.  Maybe you'll change your mind 18 months from now and if you are then more comfortable doing this for her reconsider but that is your call, not hers.  And if you were to do it, I would hope she would offer to pay you!  Man, my best friend is doing my engagement photos but I am absolutely paying her for her time and work!  As a friend you would hope she would value the amount of time and cost that would go into making a wedding cake.  That is not a good friend expecting something like that for free.  It's one thing to want to support your trade if that is something you are comfortable with, but to expect it for free is rude.  Hopefully your bridezilla calms down!  Good Luck with that one! 
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    Anniversary
  • Dude, say no.  Quickly.  This is NOT something you want to take on, believe me.  No is not a four letter word.



  • Say no.  Keep saying no.  She should not be using you to cut her own costs.
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