does everyone get there hair done together?

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:edd3aedc-0493-4cad-83c3-9da18c757c99">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:

OP, how on earth did you go from this:

[QUOTE]Wow thanks for all the advice ladies! In the end, I'm sure I will laugh this off! I guess I failed to mention that she never shows up for anything including Christmas dinner, or our engagement party, and she blew me off the day she was supposed to order her dress. With that being said... I have this fear that if I am not with her the entire day, she may disappear! Regardless, I can't control it all (though I'd love to), and I'll hope for the best. When it's all said and done, I'm marrying a great guy, and that's all that matters. Thanks again!
Posted by luvredstockins[/QUOTE]

to this?

[QUOTE]Oh my god. You people are awful! I had an honest question about bridal parties, and no it's not because of what I've seen on TV. What I said was my FI agreed with me because he has seen it on TV. He's a guy...he has no idea about this stuff. Regardless, I do not know one wedding party that didn't all go together. It's possible there is a difference in lifestyles from where I live, and where you all live. The reason I want my FSIL there is because she is my FSIL!! I want her there to support me, and to have a great time start to finish. It's not really about the hair!  There is nothing wrong with that! I do agree that I should not let this effect our relationship, and I won't. If she does not want to be with the rest of us, that is fine. I would like to know how showing up right before the wedding, standing for 25 mins, and drinking the rest of the night with your date, is showing support for a close friend!? I have seen posts that knotties are rude, and very judgemental, but I thought I would give it a shot. My mistake.
Posted by luvredstockins[/QUOTE]

You just did a complete 180. Good job on generalizing with the advice you got here and not listening to the reasoning behind.

bablingbrooke

I too wonder how you did such a turnaround.  Also love that 25 people told you that this was silly, but ONE person says, "do it it's your special day!" and you immediately cling to that.  Don't you think the opinion of 25 people, who don't know each other and are from different walks of life and parts of the country, might carry a bit more weight than one flighty person who thinks you SHOULD do what the TV tells you?

If you didn't want people fixating on the "I saw it on TV" idea, you shouldn't have said, "I saw it on TV and I think I should do it."

You asked what you should do, you got responses.  If you don't want to be "judged" then don't put yourself out there online with a bad idea.  Internet isn't the place for you if you can't handle that.

mikeynkrib2011

i hear ya luvredstockins....it obviously is important to you that your girls and your FSIL be with you to share the experience.  You've expressed numerous times, including your OP, that it isn't about the hair do at all. 

Geez oh petes, you're not asking them to commit genocide.  You're asking them to be with you! 

So if it isn't another knottie's cup of tea, big freakin' deal?  People need to learn how to respond in a manner that respects other peoples opinions without being defaming.  I suppose tho you're right....this isn't the place for that!

And P.S I didn't ever say that it "didn't matter" there were grammatical errors...I said I didn't care.  Dyslexic people tend to have higher IQ's than your average bear.  

The bottom line:  "People who say this [incorrect spelling] doesn't matter are just lazy or uneducated" is a generalization, otherwise known as a blanket statement.  Blanket statements are false in nature because they assert an opinion with no evidence.

Looks like someone aside from myself could use a litter 'higher education'.....

luvredstockins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:e90252ac-9f36-47c5-a7d4-1dbe0b56b684">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: does everyone get there hair done together? : OP, how on earth did you go from this: to this? You just did a complete 180. Good job on generalizing with the advice you got here and not listening to the reasoning behind.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I made that statement in response to the rude comments made. I'm not commenting on the sound advice you people gave. I really do appreciate the input. However, there are better ways to state your opinions. You don't have to be hurtful, and tell people they are either lazy, or whatever. There is absolutely no reason to insult someones intelligience. I believe this type of behavior could be classified as cyber bullying, so I would just back off a bit. I'm sure anyone reading my post, that was not rude knows exactly who that last post was directed towards.

mikeynkrib2011

i hear ya OP!  it's your day and there aren't any 'rules'....if you cherish your friends and FSIL to be with you while you're getting ready I don't see any harm in that!  And I know it's not about the hair...you said that originally!

You're so right, this is not the place for constructive remarks.

I would, however, just like to add a little fact to this thread:

Bottom line:  The comment "People who say this [improper grammar] doesn't matter are either lazy or uneducated" is a generalization, otherwise known as a 'blanket statement'.  Blanket statements are false in nature because they assert a position without providing any evidence. 

I don't see any 'data' or 'empirical evidence' that supports the claim.  In fact, I would say this sounds more like an opinion...defined as a JUDGEMENT that rests on grounds insufficient to create complete certainty.

that said, a LOT less judgement from people and a LOT MORE compassion, constructive criticism, and kindness would go a long way.

But like OP said, not gonna get it here!

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:911d96cf-ba6e-4611-908a-093be6770fe7">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:
[QUOTE]i hear ya OP!  it's your day and there aren't any 'rules'....if you cherish your friends and FSIL to be with you while you're getting ready I don't see any harm in that!  And I know it's not about the hair...you said that originally! <strong>You're so right, this is not the place for constructive remarks.</strong> I would, however, just like to add a little fact to this thread: Bottom line:  The comment "People who say this [improper grammar] doesn't matter are either lazy or uneducated" is a generalization, otherwise known as a 'blanket statement'.  Blanket statements are false in nature because they assert a position without providing any evidence.  I don't see any 'data' or 'empirical evidence' that supports the claim.  In fact, I would say this sounds more like an opinion...defined as a JUDGEMENT that rests on grounds insufficient to create complete certainty. that said, a LOT less judgement from people and a LOT MORE compassion, constructive criticism, and kindness would go a long way. But like OP said, not gonna get it here!
Posted by mikeynkrib2011[/QUOTE]
Actually, that's exactly what she got.  Just because you have a diamond ring doesn't mean you get EVERYTHING the way you want it.  

mikeynkrib2011

i would disagree and say that more destructive comments were made than anything else...I just hope that luvredstockins wedding day is everything she hoped for and then some!!!

HOORAY!

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:23342501-993f-4a42-9071-77bfc512f867">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:
[QUOTE]i would disagree and say that more destructive comments were made than anything else...I just hope that luvredstockins wedding day is everything she hoped for and then some!!! HOORAY!
Posted by mikeynkrib2011[/QUOTE]
And it will be, even without strong-arming people into getting their hair done on her timetable.  That's the point everyone's making.  Forcing people to do "fun" bonding things like this almost always backfire--people have to want to do it.  The more she pushes people to do things, the more she'll push them away.  So not worth it.<div>
</div><div>Also, a constructive comment is one that says, in not so many words, "Your idea isn't very good, here's what you should do instead."  Which is what she got 25 times over.  </div>

mikeynkrib2011

you got the last word in.  you won.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:6973db5c-737a-46e2-a818-c24bcc0cebfb">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:
[QUOTE]you got the last word in.  you won.
Posted by mikeynkrib2011[/QUOTE]
Hurrah for recess-level maturity.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:edd3aedc-0493-4cad-83c3-9da18c757c99">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my god. You people are awful! I had an honest question about bridal parties, and no it's not because of what I've seen on TV. What I said was my FI agreed with me because he has seen it on TV. He's a guy...he has no idea about this stuff. Regardless, I do not know one wedding party that didn't all go together. It's possible there is a difference in lifestyles from where I live, and where you all live. The reason I want my FSIL there is because she is my FSIL!! I want her there to support me, and to have a great time start to finish. It's not really about the hair!  There is nothing wrong with that! I do agree that I should not let this effect our relationship, and I won't. If she does not want to be with the rest of us, that is fine.<strong> I would like to know how showing up right before the wedding, standing for 25 mins, and drinking the rest of the night with your date, is showing support for a close friend!?</strong> I have seen posts that knotties are rude, and very judgemental, but I thought I would give it a shot. My mistake.
Posted by luvredstockins[/QUOTE]

So buying the dress that she'll never wear again, standing up in your wedding, presumably attending the shower and buying a shower gift, standing next to you in the ceremony, presumably buying you a wedding fit isn't "showing support" for a friend, but getting your hair done at the same salon is?  That just doesn't make sense.

Look at everything she's going to be doing for your wedding.  And you're getting into a snit over her hair?  Do you not see how silly that is?

Cristine2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_everyone-there-hair-done-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:81cac8b4-3e43-4aa4-88ab-d32787a0ca92Post:23c00ff9-3c29-4ed0-b38b-aaf34d6d1ec2">Re: does everyone get there hair done together?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: does everyone get there hair done together? : I made that statement in response to the rude comments made. I'm not commenting on the sound advice you people gave. I really do appreciate the input. However, there are better ways to state your opinions. You don't have to be hurtful, and tell people they are either lazy, or whatever. There is absolutely no reason to insult someones intelligience. I believe this type of behavior could be classified as cyber bullying, so I would just back off a bit. I'm sure anyone reading my post, that was not rude knows exactly who that last post was directed towards.
Posted by luvredstockins[/QUOTE]
I agree with you that the comments were getting out of line and this is what frustrates me about these boards.

In reponse to your original post, I'm VERY glad that your FI stood up for you, regardless of where he got the notion from. If this hairdresser thing starts to get tense between you and your FSIL, maybe you could have a bridal party breakfast ? This way you get your bonding time with the BMs and then everyone is comfortable with where they are having their hair done.