Moms and Maids

Help! Maid of Honor issues...

I'm having a major struggle with this...

My little sister will be only 16 when I get married in 2014. I know it's the right thing to have her as my MOH but I really want to include my best friend that I've known since we were 10 and who is my age (will be 24 by the wedding) in the "Maid of Honor" title/responsibility/honor as well.
 I have no idea how to work it and my mother is breathing down my neck every other second saying "I HAVE to have my sister as my maid of honor". Is it okay to call her my "Matron of Honor" even though she isn't married? Or should I call her my "Best woMAN" or something witty like that? I have no idea what to do and really want them both to have a significance in my bridal party. (I have 4 girls in my party with a jr bridesmaid and a flower girl). 

PLEASE HELP! I will most likely be posting a discussion on psychotic, overbearing, opinionated mothers soon too. I'm going INSANE and I have a 2 year engagement to endure. 

Thanks in advance,
     Nicole :)

Re: Help! Maid of Honor issues...

  • You could have two maids of honor. No need to make up differnt titles for them.

                       
  • You could have two maids of honor. There's no need to make up different titles for them.
                       
  • edited October 2012
    Either have two MOHs or tell your mom you would rather have your friend as MOH but will still have sister as a BM. Even if your mom is helping to pay, the bridal party is the one thing only you have a real say in. ETA: Also not sure what the age has to do with anything.
  • A Matron of Honor is only called a Matron because she IS married, so don't go that route.  Either have 2 MOH's which is fine, or sit down with your mom and tell her that the MOH choice is yours alone.

    My SIL was forced by her mom to have her sister as her MOH - after 20 years that still ticks her off.

    Having 2 can solve your problems.  Gets Mom off your case, and you and your BFF can do things together.  Just be incredibly careful not to leave your little sister out of things - you will really hurt her feelings.  Seems like there is a ton of room here for compromise.
  • You can have two maids of honor.  It's incredibly common when a bride has both a sister and a best friend she wants to honor. 
  • edited October 2012
    There are no MOH responsibilities beyond getting the dress and standing up next to you, so you don't need to worry about that part.  As for the rest, as others have said, it's very common to have two maids of honor.
  • Is age an issue because of the not being 21 factor? That if pre-parties were to be thrown by a 16 year old, it would not be as... IDK, adult? 

    I think my main concern would be that if your mom is forcing you to choose a MOH this early, and being so forceful about it, likely she will do the same thing to your 16-year-old sister about planning different events for you. Maybe that isn't a problem, maybe it is, I don't know. But it's something to consider. Does your sister want to be put in a position where your mom starts, as you put it, breathing down her neck to plan various things she isn't actually obligated to plan? 

    Ultimately you get to decide who is the most important female in your life to be MOH. There's no "right" thing, IMO. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker whatshouldwecallweddings.tumblr.com
  • You can have two Maids of Honor.  If you are worried about having two Maids of Honor, don't be.  You can technically only have one because your sister will not be old enough to sign the lisence,  
  • You can have two Maids of Honor.  If you are worried about having two Maids of Honor, don't be.  You can technically only have one because your sister will not be old enough to sign the lisence,  
  • I had my 2 sisters as both of maids of honor, since neither are married. Most likely, when the next one gets married, I will be the matron of honor, and the other will be a maid of honor. When the last one gets married, she will have two matrons of honor.

    Not a big deal to have two, but only if that's what you truly want. Age doesn't matter at all.

    Also Retread makes a GREAT point about not choosing your wedding party more than 6ish months out. There is no reason to stress about that right now.
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