VENT!

NicoleBreeze2013

Ok I'll appoligise now cause I'm going to vent about my mum and YES I love her but seriously.... Ok when I got engaged she wasn't thrilled, yes I'm only 20 but I'm going to be nearly 22 when we get married. Booked a reception venue she keeps telling us we made a mistake because we didn't ask her opinion, it's the best deal for the money FH and I can pay. Took her to see my dream dress... Told me I look prego and I should keep looking I think it's slimming. Dropped the wedding talk for a few months cause I was over the comments, took her to a bridal expo today whatever I like she hates, she picked up more reception info, already paid for half at the place I want. Her comment just checking other options. Told her today also we chose the park to be married in since she didn't want me married in a church, "oh a parks a waste of money" She took me dress shopping again picking out every dress I hate telling me try it on so I did a few to keep her happy then couldn't understand why I said I didn't like them on. I'm sorry to vent and be abit all over the place but how do I tell her to back off abit, I know what I want and she's going polar opposites and just doesn't understand.

GoodLuckBear14

Have an honest conversation with her about how her comments make you feel. 

StephBeanWed61502

You're two years out.  You really don't need to do any of this right now, so if you really want her to be a part of the planning process, stop the whole thing for now and pick things up again about a year out from your wedding date.  If she doesn't behave better then, I'd probably say something along the lines of "Mom, I feel like you never have anything nice to say about anything I choose for my wedding.  If you're going to be negative about everything, I think I'll just plan everything on my own with FI."

MairePoppy

Do you think your mom is trying to be difficult or is she just one of those people that doesn't have a filter? Whatever pops into her head comes out her mouth before she really thinks about it? She may not realize she is doing it, so I agree with Good Luck Bear. Have an honest talk with her. If that doens't help, then stop discussing the wedding details with her.

Go back to the bridal shop and try on your dream dresswith your MOH or someone who is more supportive and tactful. I'll bet you'll get a competely different opinion. If you love that dress,  you should buy it.

NicoleBreeze2013

Thankyou for your support Iam just over 16 months out. I Said to her last night when we were alone "your comments today about my bump really embarrassed me and I carnt help that my medication makes me bloat" she respond with I didn't say anything to embarrass you, so I think she has no filter. I have to plan now because we are doing payment plans on nearlly everything cause FH and I are paying ourselves. Thankyou though really just needed someone to understand.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a57131a0-0218-479d-a27c-bebc685a5bd4Post:b3820b2f-715b-4903-9da3-43e68f4b55b6">VENT!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I'll appoligise now cause I'm going to vent about my mum and YES I love her but seriously.... Ok when I got engaged she wasn't thrilled, yes I'm only 20 but I'm going to be nearly 22 when we get married. Booked a reception venue she keeps telling us we made a mistake because we didn't ask her opinion, it's the best deal for the money FH and I can pay. Took her to see my dream dress... Told me I look prego and I should keep looking I think it's slimming. Dropped the wedding talk for a few months cause I was over the comments, took her to a bridal expo today whatever I like she hates, she picked up more reception info, already paid for half at the place I want. Her comment just checking other options. Told her today also we chose the park to be married in since she didn't want me married in a church, "oh a parks a waste of money" She took me dress shopping again picking out every dress I hate telling me try it on so I did a few to keep her happy then couldn't understand why I said I didn't like them on. I'm sorry to vent and be abit all over the place but how do I tell her to back off abit, I know what I want and she's going polar opposites and just doesn't understand.
Posted by NicoleBreeze2013[/QUOTE]

Nearly 22.<em> *snort*
</em>
Do you tell people you're 20-1/2 now?

NicoleBreeze2013

No, but when I've said before about her saying I'm too young people have asked my age. I'm getting married two months before my birthday so yeah I'm nearlly 22.

Wmb0124

Nicole, I was 20 when I got engaged. When I told my mom, she wasn't exactly thrilled. But as time went on and the wedding got closer and we actually put down deposits and planned things, she eventually came around. My advice would be to take the wait and see approach. Yes, it is hurtful when your mom isn't all that excited about your wedding, but it's a pretty emotional time for her as well. If she sees that you're happy with the decisions you've made, hopefully she'll be just as happy for you. Until then, I would keep wedding talk to a minimum and not involve her much if she's not paying. I really hope your mom comes around.

Annas2013

I got engaged young too, but my parents were supportive.  Just give her time.  I'm sure she'll come around when the wedding gets closer.