I know this is extremely long, and most will probably not read it. But i don't exactly have any friends and obviously no family memebers i can talk to about any problems. I would just like an outside opinion on what i might be able to do about this situation...
My relationship with my mother has been on a rocky road for going on 7 years now. And i'm only 21! I already have a 5 month old son with my finance, we were going to get married last year, until i found out we were pregnant, so we put it off until after he was born and we could enjoy having a new baby around for a little while...
My mother was absolutely no support during pregnancy, saying awful things about me, birth, saying more awful things, and even still today she does not help me with anything. The few times she has come and seen me over this past year, all her conversations consist of is putting down our family memebers. Of course when i stick up for them, she turns it around and puts me down. I let her hold my son a few times, but the last time she almost killed him, long story short, i honestly think she was trying to make him mentally handicap, because my nephew is... She has seriously told me that she thinks its sad for my brother to see my son be so healthy and perfect. (That's why i think she was trying to hurt my son on purpose, thank God nothing happened to him, because i got to him in time!!) Needless to say, she hasn't held him since then!
She still has yet to congratulate me and my fiance on getting engaged, let alone having a child together. Yet every time i see her around other family memebers, such as holidays, birthdays, etc, she wants to act like she's mother of the year and puts on a show, saying things like, i could watch your son this week if i'm not busy, oh would you like me to go flower shopping with you, where are you picking out your dress, etc, etc.
I've had private conversations with her, telling her exactly how i feel about our relationship, but she just stares at me and won't say a word. Then she literally crys to our family, my father, aunts, grandmaw, etc. about how i am so horrible to her, won't let her see her grandson, won't let her help with the wedding, blah, blah, blah. So then they all attack me and don't believe my side of the story!
I really don't want her at my wedding, on one hand for the obvious reasons, on the other hand because i'm pretty certain she will make a scene and make my day all about her. My only thing is, if i don't invite her, my father might not come or she might show up anyway and make an even bigger scene.
I've practically begged my finance to elope, but he assures me everything will be ok. He of course doesn't know my family as well as i do. A few family memebers made a huge scene at my baby shower because we started exactly 5 minutes late!