Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion

MOB harassing the Bride!

aav423aav423 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
My mother and I don't get a long and haven't for most of my life (product of a divorced family), so when I got engaged she naturally wanted to help.  He version of helping is taking over EVERYTHING!!  I've tried to be nice the past 8 months in letting her help plan, but she completely took the bridal shower away from my bridesmaids and even made nasty comments about me at the shower to my friends and co-workers.  She and my stepdad just insulted me the other day about hand delivering some invitations and started calling me "ghetto bride."  I only have 5 weeks to go, but their nasty comments and added stress is driving me insane!  Can anybody help??
Report Reply to Post

Re: MOB harassing the Bride!

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't know why a mother would want to make her own daughter look bad. Your best bet is to keep your distance from her. Don't give her more information than she needs to know.

    Keep your chin up, your mothers comments make her, not you, look bad.

    Good luck.
                       
    Report Reply
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mob-harassing-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:da754361-d438-43c3-aed6-2a31a8bdc6fePost:658fda5c-fc9a-41ec-837e-0ffe1c327d99">MOB harassing the Bride!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mother and I don't get a long and haven't for most of my life (product of a divorced family), so when I got engaged she naturally wanted to help.  He version of helping is taking over EVERYTHING!!  I've tried to be nice the past 8 months in letting her help plan, but she completely took the bridal shower away from my bridesmaids and even made nasty comments about me at the shower to my friends and co-workers.  She and my stepdad just insulted me the other day about hand delivering some invitations and started calling me "ghetto bride."  I only have 5 weeks to go, but their nasty comments and added stress is driving me insane!  Can anybody help??
    Posted by aav423[/QUOTE]

    Who's paying for your wedding?
    Report Reply
  • SilverLining1SilverLining1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If she isn't paying, just stop talking to her about wedding plans. If she is... You're SOL unless you want to decline her money.
    image
    Report Reply
  • theluckiest555theluckiest555
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My mom is paying for my wedding and she has been a bit overwhelming. She even wanted to control who I picked as a BM. Her latest issue is what color tie my FI chooses to wear at the ceremony. She insists he has to wear a black or a white tie (he is wearing a suit.) Everything about the wedding I have picked, but with her approval. I have gotten really fed up and stressed about it, but I'm trying to keep in mind that she is paying for the wedding, so I may just have to grin and bear it. It aint' worth fighting over, considering all the other stuff I have to worry about (finals). Thankfully I only have about 2 months left!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
    Report Reply
  • aav423aav423 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    @zitiqueen:

    My mother, FMIL, father, my fiancee and I are all paying for some portion of the wedding.  I understand if she's paying for the whole thing then she gets to call the shots, but everyone is pulling their weight.  My mother constantly tells me that I don't appreciate everything that she's paid for already, yet when I pay for things she yells at me for doing it and then trys to pay me back.  Even my FMIL has noticed that my mother is trying to get her own way and plan everything as if it were her own wedding.  Don't get me wrong...I do appreciate everything she has done, but she also needs to realize that she's turning what's supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life into a nightmare.
    Report Reply
  • saric83saric83 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Maybe just stop talking to her about all of the wedding stuff and avoid it unless she brings it up.  If she keeps pushing and insists on planning, just figure out what is left to do and kindly ask her to do the thing on your list that you care the least about and let her take care of it.  Hopefully, it will distract her, make her feel like she is control of something and let you be for a bit.  : )  Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If your mom is contributing, she gets some say in the planning, if she wants it. Some parents contribute, with no strings attached. Others want some say in how their money is being spent. You probably knew your mom was the later type when you accepted her money. So you are going to have to find a way to work with her, or turn down her money.

                       
    Report Reply
  • AmitzahAmitzah member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you tried sitting her down and telling her how this is making you feel? You can tell her that you don't want to exclude her from the planning and how much you have appreciated her help and "support" thus far, but if her behavior continues you may need to make a decision to exclude her that you don't really want to do. That's as diplomatic as I can think to phrase it. I hope this works out for you, and that you and your fiancé are able to enjoy your wedding day.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards