Moms and Maids

I think I'm being overdramatic...BUT

Hi everyone!
So, bridesmaid issue - mild, but still bugging me. One of my bridesmaids, who I've known forever, recently said something along the lines of "I'm bringing a flask to your wedding, because I am going to need a few drinks before the ceremony". This in itself, while maybe not super advisable, doesn't really bother me, but her justification does. She said that she'll need the drinks because 'weddings creep her the f*** out, and the whole idea of watching two people promise themselves to each other forever is totally weird and makes her uncomfortable".

I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so her feelings about marriage are totally fine. However, if this is how she feels, why did she say yes to being in my BP?

I hope she didn't agree to be a BM because she felt like she had to or anything. And on the other hand, while she's entitled to her opinions, I dont feel that they are appropriate for voicing to someone who's planning a wedding!

I know that I'm probably overreacting and over-analysizing this, but should I tell her that if it bugs her then she doesn't have to be in the BP? SHould I just ignore the comment all together? Should I tell her that it offended me, and that I dont really want to hear that type of negative stuff right now?

Thanks for your help!

Re: I think I'm being overdramatic...BUT

  • slpankuchslpankuch
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Hm that is really strange. I would ignore it now to keep the peace. You have other details to worry about.
    If another comment like that comes up. I would then tell her your offended.
    Sometimes people don't think before they talk!

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: I think I'm being overdramatic...BUT:
    Hm that is really strange. I would ignore it now to keep the peace. You have other details to worry about. If another comment like that comes up. I would then tell her your offended. Sometimes people don't think before they talk!
    Posted by slpankuch
    This.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs.

    One more thing to keep in mind is how you would have reacted if you weren't planning your wedding these days. What I mean is, this seems like a reasonable thing for one friend to tell another in the abstract: "The idea of marriage really creeps me out. I don't understand why people do that and can't imagine ever doing it myself." I said similar things, even early in my relationship with my now-fiance. I didn't say them directly to anyone planning her wedding, but it's a normal thing to say to a girlfriend. She doesn't stop being your friend just 'cause you're planning your wedding (though she should be more careful about what she says about marriage in front of you).
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited December 2011
    My daughter has a close friend who is opposed to marriage. And she is vocal about it. She says she is holding out for a rich man because love is a foolish venture. My daughter accepts her friend the way she is. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

    If this truly upsets you, then you should tell her, but don't ask her if she wants to step down.


                
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to assume that she agreed to being your bridesmaid for the same reason you asked her to be... because she's a close friend and you two care a great deal for each other and support each other's life decisions even while they're not what you might choose for yourself. So even though the idea of a wedding creeps her out, she wants to be there for you. So yeah, I think you're taking it way too personally. She's not trying to stop it or convince you to her way of thinking, it sounds like weddings in general just make her uncomfortable and so she's dealing with it by making some jokes (although probably not thinking about how they might sound to you) to relieve some of her tension.

    Unless she starts making comments about it all the time, I'd just ignore it. And if she does start making more comments about it I'd probably just jokingly say back to her: "Some of your wedding anxiety is starting to rub off on me! Can you cool the wedding jokes around me until after I'm safely down the aisle?"
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the advice...like I said, it's not her opinion that bugs me, it's just that she's saying it during my wedding planning. So, excellent points about how that isn't really a weird thing to say to a friend under usual circumstances, I'm just being oversensetive now that it's wedding-planning time. Very good perspective!
    Also, thanks LoveMuffins, I'm DEFINITELY going to remember that "wedding anxiety" line incase more comments happen...that's a nice, non-confrontational way to let her know that those sort of comments kind of upset me!
    You guys are all so smart! :)
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