Bridesmaids dresses

Lisag72

Hi ,
I have made an appointment for my bridesmaids to try on the dress I want them to wear and get fitted. They have all had 2 months to prepare and save money . The dress is only $150 but one of the maids ( my sister) claims that she has no money to spend right now.
Does anyone know if dresses are paid for the day they are ordered or if they are paid for when picked up ? The amount of stress I've had with family in the last 2 months has been incredible and I really can't take anymore. I feel that The last thing I should have to worry about it other peoples finances.

msuprincess04

I understand your frusteration. Did you ask her her budget before you picked the dress? If so, then she effectively already offered to pay up to that amount. If not, then you shouldn't have picked a dress assuming all of your BM would pay for it. If she can no longer afford it after giving you a budget higher than the dress, then you have two options:
1) Pay it for her. (It's always safer not to loan anything you can't afford to live without.)
2) Let her wear something else she already owns, can borrow, or can afford.

We generally say that if they don't get the dress then they are choosing not to be in the wedding. But, I think if you care enough about your BM to ask them to be in your wedding, then you need to ask yourself if a dress would stop you from honoring them and having them near on your special day.

As for your second part. That totally depends on where you are getting it from. Some require all of it up front, and some only half when you order and half when you pick it up. Call the shop for your answer.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-dresses-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e2a96d9f-28f9-466d-ad4e-d7936af02cfbPost:bda65bf8-777d-4c28-9838-bae9612e5bf9">Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi , I have made an appointment for my bridesmaids to try on the dress I want them to wear and get fitted. They have all had 2 months to prepare and save money . The dress is only $150 but one of the maids ( my sister) claims that she has no money to spend right now. Does anyone know if dresses are paid for the day they are ordered or if they are paid for when picked up ? The amount of stress I've had with family in the last 2 months has been incredible and I really can't take anymore. <strong>I feel that the last thing I should have to worry about is other peoples finances.</strong> Posted by Lisag72[/QUOTE]

You are wrong. You absolutely should worry about your bm's finances.You should have asked each of them, privately, for their dress budgets. Then you should have selected a dress in the lowest range. It's common courtesy.

Every bridal salon I have ever used, has taken a deposit on the dress on the day it was ordered (usually half) and then the balance was paid when the dress was picked up. Your salon could be different. You should call them and ask. The other bms would probably like the information, too.

There is no need to order the bm dresses, now. Your wedding isn't until October.

Lisag72

They all knew the cost of the dress for over a month and noone had a problem with it until now..  "The problem child" is my sister..I knew it would be almost impossible to escape any drama with her..

MairePoppy

Why are you ordering dresses, now, for an October wedding? This could wait until spring. If the other bms want to order this early, let them. Your sister can order when she has the money. Or you could put the deposit down for her and let her pay you back later.

s-aries8990

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-dresses-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e2a96d9f-28f9-466d-ad4e-d7936af02cfbPost:e3b7d7c1-213f-41d0-8c58-ebda3024c108">Re: Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>They all knew the cost of the dress for over a month</strong> and noone had a problem with it until now..  "The problem child" is my sister..I knew it would be almost impossible to escape any drama with her..
Posted by Lisag72[/QUOTE]
<strong>
That doesn't answer the question as to whether or not you asked her about her budget. </strong>I work full time and another job on the weekends - but with student loans and rent syphoning out up to two thirds of my take-home pay every month, that doesn't leave much for gas, groceries, auto insurance, phone bill, and any medicine/personal care items (and god forbid something happen to my car or I have any medical problems! Knock on wood!!!!). $150 doesn't just pop up overnight for everyone.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-dresses-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e2a96d9f-28f9-466d-ad4e-d7936af02cfbPost:2ddcf2c8-aa2a-4172-8135-420f2174d838">Re: Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]Why are you ordering dresses, now, for an October wedding? This could wait until spring. If the other bms want to order this early, let them. Your sister can order when she has the money. Or you could put the deposit down for her and let her pay you back later.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

All of this.

And you really should have asked their budget, NOT pick a dress that you thought was ok price wise and then tell them that is how much they have to spend.

Lisag72

LOL !! Such a rough crowd.. The wedding planning shall continue, the dresses will be ordered next month ..October is only 9 months away and there is nothing wrong with having everything set and ready to go so there is no last minute worrying. I'm sure I'm not the first and I won't be the last to do this .

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaids-dresses-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e2a96d9f-28f9-466d-ad4e-d7936af02cfbPost:b9fe84b5-5d49-4616-a28a-4e3d47b233d4">Re: Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL !! Such a rough crowd.. The wedding planning shall continue, the dresses will be ordered next month ..October is only 9 months away and there is nothing wrong with having everything set and ready to go so there is no last minute worrying. I'm sure I'm not the first and I won't be the last to do this .
Posted by Lisag72[/QUOTE]

People can get pregnant, gain weight, lose weight, lose a job, get a job, and a million other things in 9 months. But you want them to buy a $150 dress and be sure that it's worth the investement?

If you don't want worrying and stress, don't put this on your BMs so early. Give them some time, ask budgets, and order in a reasonable amount of time, when they can be more sure of their budgets, their size situation, and if they'll actually be able to take the time to be in your wedding.

Samby86

It took almost 7 months for my bridesmaids dresses to come in. Personally, if your are prepared, and have decided on a style, go ahead and order it. Its your wedding.
But I do agree with everyone in that you should have asked all your BM's what their dress budget was. If you didn't do that already.
Also, my dress shop made them pay half upfront and half when the dress arrived.