Am I Being Used?

Carson386

Ok, so back in June a former friend of mine was engaged. We were neighbors and she asked me to be a BM in her wedding and her best friend would be her MOH, that was fine with me and we actually got closer as time went on. Well the MOH bailed, never got her dress or called the bride back. The bride asked me to be her MOH since the other bailed on her. I (stupidly) agreed. After I did her shower and helped her this whole time, she is now saying that even if the former MOH shows up to the wedding, she will be the MOH again....
I don't like being used. And maybe I am just being overly sensitive that she promoted me and then told me if the other girl shows up i'm back to being "just a bm". Any thoughts??

em01092

It was crappy of her to promote you. She should have just left it alone. You as a BM or anyone could have thrown her a shower, not just a MOH. If she asked you to be MOH and the old MOH returns, what she should do is list you as co-MOHs. I don't know if she will though. 

You can tell her that the replacement title and her feelings about the former MOH/keeping her as MOH hurt your feelings, or you can let it go. Don't be passive agressive. If it's going to bother you, I think you should let her know how you feel so that the feelings of resentment don't swell over something else. If you can honestly move on past it, then that'd be fine also to be the bigger person. 

Maggie0829

I honestly would just move on.  At this point saying something might make a mole hill into a mountain and make things really weird until the wedding.  Truthfully she probably didn't even think that you would be hurt by that statement...she could just be in a "me, me me" mind frame right now which isn't a very nice friend thing to do but it happens to the best of us.  I would just continue being a good friend to her and chalk the whole thing up to a crazy bride moment.  However, if she continues saying things like this then I would definitely talk with her once the wedding is over with and let her know that your feelings were really hurt because of x, y and z.  This way, like PP said, resentment doesn't keep building up over time.

kaitlyn&henry

That does sound shady on her part...im sorry you feel this way. Like another poster said, she should have never asked to promote you for this very reason...not only that but then not demote you if the other one still wanted to be MOH. Thats just rude.

Personally, i would say something along the lines of it hurt your feelings so you dont bottle it in and it keeps growing by the time the wedding gets here--Especially if you still want a relatiionship with her.

nlindsay17

I would tell her how you feel. She obviously isn't concerned about your feelings so I don't see why you have to be cautios of hers. Just because someone is a bride doesn't give them the right to treat others poorly. You feel like you were used and are hurt by that. Let her know and hopefully she will realize how she is treating you and change her thought process. You will at least know if she is a true friend or just self-centered. Good luck!