OK, maybe I should post this on the nest, but you ladies always seem to have good ideas, so I could use a few.
My mom is concerned that she and my dad will be "replaced" as parents by my FMIL & FFIL. I believe these fears began to surface most recently when she read an engagement card I received from Fi's parents, welcoming me into their family, signed, "Love Mom and Dad (future last name)". I tried to quell her fears stating that while fi's parents will be important in my life, they could never be replacements. I love my FPIL, but my parents will always be MY parents.
Anyway- I have a very close relationship with my mom- we spend A LOT of time together hanging out, watching favorite shows/movies, shopping, talk 2-3xs/day on the phone, etc. I felt awful for her to feel thay way, because she means so much to me. We discussed that her role as my mom is not to change in my mind.
BUT-
I will say there is some validity to her concerns when it comes to time spent on holidays/vists from out of town (my relationship w/Fi is temporarily long distance)- Fi is kinda uncomfortable at my parents house.
My parents argue frequently and are outspokenly- though never to the face of the other- unhappy with the other.
Though I'm sure there's obvious indication to everyone, anyway.
Mom rolls her eyes at everything Dad says. He blows up often, then storms off.
Each routinely, 365 days/year, spend evenings watching tv separately from one another, until they fall asleep.
This was all par for course during our 5 years of dating and remains so.
His parents have a seemingly stable/affectionate marriage together, and they engage us in discussion, games, etc during our visits. No fighting.
What can I do to split time more evenly and effectively, as well as try to get more interactivity from my parents, maybe without the drama? I want to have both sides be as happy as they can be, and not feel left out, and of course I want Fi to feel more at ease, too.
I want my mom especially to see that she is NOT to going to be replaced.
Please help!