Wedding Hair and Beauty

Older Brides and Updos

Hello, this is a question for older brides--no offense, but if you're 29 and have no crows feet in sight, you're not really qualified to advise on this.  Thanks.

I'm 47, getting married next month and am not sure what to do with my hair.

My fiance loves it when I wear my hair up because I have a nice jaw-line and neck, and I do get compliments when I wear my hair that way.

However, my stylist cautioned me against pulling all of my hair back, noting that this can accentuate lines and wrinkes--and I agree. (Take a look at Sarah Jessica Parker in the first "Sex in the City" movie--it's enough to make you jump into the screen and pull a few wispy strands across her gaunt, lined face...)

Leaving wispy hair to frame my face seems like the answer, but it makes my face look cluttered with my birdcage veil.

Any ideas on how to keep the face somewhat clear, yet tactfully draped?  Links to photos would be welcome.

Re: Older Brides and Updos

  • Maybe you can find something here...

    I'm also an older bride (will be 36 by the wedding) but I haven't even decided if I'm doing a veil or not yet. 

  • I think a loose updo would be fine, even without hair around your face.  As long as the hair is not pulled back really tightly.  You'll have the veil to frame your face anyway. 

    I was 40 when I got married (although yes, I do look younger).  I did a half up.  I have bangs which also makes you look younger.  Check out the wedding hair sticky for some ideas.  But I say, if you like your hair up and are complimented on it, then go for it.  No one is going to see wrinkles, they will just see a beautiful bride!
  • I'm also an "older" bride (35), first time down the aisle. I say, if you and your fiance both love the updo--just do it. I look young for my age (most place me around 27) but some of the wedding dresses I was presented with just looked ridiculous when I was shopping--too young and fluffy. Embrace your sophistication with an elegant gown, sophisticated jewelry, an updo--hell, the wedding photographer can always photoshop anything necessary away--and I'm sure you look lovely. I think that updos can be aging on a 20-something, but that they are truly elegant (and can even have a face-lifting effect) if done properly on a woman of a certain age. I actually think SJP, as lovely as she is, has a bit of a "20 from behind, 50 from the front" thing happening with the long flowing hair, which also makes her face look too long cause she has the body fat percentage of an elite gymnast. Go for light, airbrush makeup, soft blush, no harsh eyeliner and you will glow! Tinted moisturiser will minimize any lines. A soft cage veil could also be gorgeous.
  • In Response to Re: Older Brides and Updos:
    I'm so glad you posted this.  I'm definitely an older bride and have been wondering how to wear my hear.  I am hoping to find a summery flowery hat.  No veil at my age and second marriage.
    Posted by kisaval
    This was my second marriage too but as soon as I put my veil on I knew I had to wear one!
  • I'm over 40 and am doing a half-up/half-down look
  • Do whatever makes you all feel beautiful.  I'm 47, and just married (second wedding).  I wore my hair down with a hairband.  PM me if you want photos of how it looked.  Up, down, whatever.  I really don't think an updo is unflattering on a bride in her 40's.  AND, if you want a a veil, wear one!

    Stephie--you are NOT 40.  Nope.  NO.   ((picture Elaine from Seinfeld pushing him backwards)).  That's aMAZing.
  • In Response to Re: Older Brides and Updos:
    Stephie--you are NOT 40.  Nope.  NO.   ((picture Elaine from Seinfeld pushing him backwards)).  That's aMAZing.
    Posted by deepcovejackie
    Awww, thanks!  :)
  • Stephie - I seriously thought you were like 26!
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  • As long as the updo isn't pulled back tightly and severely, I don't see an issue with it.  like PPs said, nobody's going to see crows feet, they're going to see a beautiful, glowing bride.  I don't have crows feet (being fat helps keep the wrinkles away - the one advantage), but I'm also going to be an older bride at 35, and I'm going to wear my hair up.  The reason I'm doing it is because I may be wearing a bolero jacket over my dress and I don't want my hair to compete with the collar, but also because my hair is long and straight and won't hold a style unless it's all up and pinned.  If you've got a great jawline, flaunt it!  It'll look great in pictures, and like PPs, said, if it really bothers you, you can have your eye area airbrushed/photoshopped.

    SJP does definitely look older than her years, and like her head is about 3 feet long.  Sure, she has the body of a 19-year-old, but that head of hers is ancient.

  • photo c603d655-594e-44b6-a311-72f04e7a561b_zpscca2447c.jpg My Little Sweetheart Follow Me on Pinterest

  • These were a couple I had saved for a sort of looser updo look that isn't too harsh. I'm 38 and had the same concerns about a tight do.  I ended up wearing mine down with my birdcage veil and it looked great.
    photo c603d655-594e-44b6-a311-72f04e7a561b_zpscca2447c.jpg My Little Sweetheart Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I am 46 and wearing my hair 1/2 up with my birdcage veil.  Talk to your stylist - she has hair around my face but very sleek (there are some great products out there to accomplish this).  Also, try a good primer (I discovered Studio Gear Prime Objective) that do a great job of hiding those fine lines!!! Kiss
  • Wear it how you like it best, it will show in your smile.

    Age doesnt factor.. but I asked myself this as well considering I will turn 40 like 6 months before my wedding (and the FI is a little younger then me).  It's intimidating to get out there in front of 20ish's, even some 30ish's and to not compare is even harder.

    I truly believe... that you ... know YOU best.  Do what feels right and looks right to you and it will show.
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  • I was 45 when I got married last year (first time) and it never even occurred to me to think about crow's feet or wrinkles.  I wanted an updo, so that's what I did.  I certainly didn't notice anything in my pictures, and neither did anyone else.  I got a lot of compliments on my hair.
  • I'm 37 and will probably be wearing an updo. I have thick, curly hair and will probably roller set it and use the curling iron for spirals. I don't have any visible wrinkles yet! :-) Nobody can tell what age I am...when I was walking on my old college campus, the kids were asking if I wanted to be in their club :-).  So I say do what makes you feel comfortable. An updo is fine for an "older" woman in my opinion.
  • I was almost 39 when I got married and did an updo.  You might be able to tell in my sig pic.  I think that if you like the way your hair looks in an updo, you should do that.  Otherwise I don't have any non-updo suggestions.  Sorry!
  • I'm going to advise you to wear your hair how you feel comfortable - fussing with your hairor worrying about wrinkles is the last thing you want on your wedding day!

    BTW Stephie is graced with the ageless gene!  (Girl needs to bottle that....!)

    No matter where I roam, I'll always be a California Girl at heart!
  • Older brides? Ladies, I'm 61 and getting married (3rd time) in June. It's OK, I've been single for over 20 years and learned a few things in that interim. I am letting my hair grow so that I will have some options by then, but I really like the answers here that say to just do what makes you feel beautiiful!  What gray hair I have is highlighted gold and the rest is chestnut, so I'll probably do some kind of half up and half down thing. With a sparkly thing in it.
  • I am 37, will be 38 by the time of the wedding. I haven't decided about hair or veil yet. If you like your hair up, wear it up!  I am sure there is something you can do for any crows feet with makeup or botox. When I went to prom 20 years ago, I wore my hair up in a french twist with wisps and curly twists hanging down - think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman in the red dress.  I loooooved it like that but that was the only time I ever did that.  My hair was much longer and a lot thicker then, though, so I know it's not even an option now.

    Whatever you decide I am sure you will look great!
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  • In Response to Re: Older Brides and Updos:
      I am also an older bride (preferring 'woman of a certain sge') and struggled with the whole head/hair thing. I have decided on a loose updo without a veil. I am 54 and have been told I look 20 years younger. I say go with what feels right for you, collecting ideas & pix to have something to compare with. Get opinions from all you trust. Look at photos of stars who are your age for inspiration. Talk with your hairdresser about your dilemna. We must all remember, there are no hard & fast rules! An older bride may have whatever she wants, it's HER wedding! Get your 8 hrs of sleep and do it on your back to help keep wrinkles at bay.
    I wish you the best of luck and a beautiful wedding!
  • I like your attitude. I feel the same way. I will be doing an  loose up-do, which will work well with my small face and Edwardian inspired gaeden party dress of satin stripe silk my brother sent me from China, years ago.
    My intended is 46, I'm 54. This is a second for me & 1st for him.
    A chignon would be beautiful, in an old world classic way and can be as soft or strict as you desire. It will also keep your hair looking good if you should remove the veil after the ceremony.Good luck & enjoy your day.
     In Response to Re: Older Brides and Updos:
    I'm so glad I saw this, I'm 40 and this is my first marriage! Fiance is 31 and he just had some growing up to do. My stylist is thinking a chignon (not sure how to spell that) updo with some wispys around my face.  I'm doing the veil and headpiece though, it's my frist wedding and I don't care what anyone thinks.
    Posted by smwagner70
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