Father AND Step-Father down the aisle?

becknuts

My step-father has been in my life since I was five years old.  We didn't always have the best relationship but as I have gotten older we have become very close.  My dad and I are not very close now due to personal issues he had my entire life.  I am very close with his parents (my grandparents) who would be upset if I didn't walk with him down the aisle.

Is it okay to walk with both of them?  What about the father/daughter dance?

homediva

Ohhhh this is EXACTLY my situation! I feel for you! I think I might do the father for the first half of the aisle / stepfather for the second half of the aisle idea. That way they each get a special bit - and one gets to be with you before, while the other gets to give you away. I haven't decided what to do for the dance yet.....yuck - weddings were not designed for divorced parents were they!? Maybe a family dance?

karlichris

I had the same problem...eventually both my dads spoke to each other and agreed to both walk me down...they've both been a part of my life since I was born and 3.5 years old.  For the father daughter dance, we're doing two...with my birth father going first.

Good luck with that one...it seems our generation will have a lot more issues with this!!!

becknuts

Glad to know I'm not alone in this.  I was almost thinking of not doing the father/daughter dance at all but that might make it even MORE awkward.

My birth dad is not going to be involved in planning the wedding, paying for the wedding, nothing.  In fact, when my fiance proposed he did not call my dad to ask for permission, he called my step-father.  BUT like I said, I wouldn't want to upset my grandparents (or my dad for that matter, even though we aren't very close) by snubbing him. 

This is the largest source of anxiety for me for my wedding!  Thanks for the tips

Penwater1

This is a hard subject, but the most important thing is what do you want. I think if it okay for you to have both your Dad and your step-dad walk you down the isle. "Giving you away " shows that they support you in your new life and if they both mean a lot to you they should understand. I have a step-father too who I am close to but my mom and he married when i was 18. My Dad is walking me down the isle then at the reception I will do a father daughter dance, my fiancée will do a mother/son dance, and then i will do a stepfather/daughter dance. It is important to me because I want him to know how much i respect him for being so good to my mom and to all of us, and even though he hasn't always been in the family he means just as much to me.

molliemcd1

I am definitely walking with both of them. The father/daughter dance will probably be with my dad, but for my Jewish ceremony, I am having my mother, my father, my stepfather and my stepmother walk with me.  We have new families and I think people need to be receptive to that!