Customs and Traditions

Who should walk me down the isle

My father passed away when I was a teenager... my wedding is in 4.5 months and i'm not real close with my mom.is it ok to1. Walk solo2. walk half way down solo then have my fiance come get me half way down?Other ideas are appreciated.Please post pics or video if u have done somthing like this, thank you- Jessica

Re: Who should walk me down the isle

  • You can walk down the aisle solo, or just walk in with your fiance. Or for another option, do you have a brother or grandfather or uncle you are close to?
  • While walking solo may sound nice just remember your nerves may get to you.  I know someone who said they tried it and they got so nervous with everyone staring that she almost fainted part way down.  If you're not a big public person you may want to think about that.  Anyone can walk you down the aisle.  Very few European countries have the bride walk with her father the couple walks together.  I agree with pp have a close friend or other family member walk you down.  Just be prepared to really hurt your mother if you don't at least talk with her about it.
  • If you want to walk down solo, go for it. But if you want someone else there, I would pick either a close family member or friend to walk you down the aisle.
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  • I would walk with someone that you are close to.  My dad isnt in my life and I am close to my twin brother.  He is walking me down the aisle. 
  • i dont have a dad either. my mom is walking me down the aisle, and im doing the father daughter dance with my favorite uncle. is there another family member you feel close enough with to give you away?if not, i think its perfectly fine to walk by yourself. i doubt anyone is going to think anything bad about it, or even think about it at all. or walk down with your fiance.
  • My dad passed 3 years ago and I will be walking down with his father.  My mom is upset about this (didn't know until way after I asked grandpa) and I talked whit her about it before asking.  We aren't that close.If something were to happen to my grandpa I would ask my uncle or my cousin. 
  • i think walking alone is the best choice
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  • Walking halfway is fine too. I think it's a romantic idea to have FI come & get you & walk you halfway.
  • I think it's ok to do whatever you want! I'm in the same situation though and I'm trying to avoid any situation where it will be glaring my dad isn't there... if someone walks you down the aisle you could be thinking about how lucky you are to have him/her rather than thinking about how your dad isn't there.
  • My dad passed away 7 years ago. I have a while to plan, but it is a hard decision. I am thinking of asking my brothers. (I am also not extremely close to my mom) I agree with l_disciple. If there is a family guy figure, it seems to be a good route. Talk to your mom about your decision. It seems that would be the polite thing to do. Think of it this way, would it cause drama/tension if you do NOT tell your mom the decision? If it hurts her feelings too much...maybe she can meet you halfway? I know this is a little different, but one of my friends asked her brother to be in her wedding. He was killed before the wedding. She still included him in a subtle way. She had a special bouquet made with a candle in the middle for the bridesmaid that was to be paired up with him. Not sure if it was battery opperated or not. I thought it was very special...and the ones that were close to her brother knew exactly what it was for. Something like this could be an optional route if you decide to walk down the aisle yourself. Good luck!
  • my father died 10 years ago.  i chose to walk down the aisle with my H.  it took a lot of nervousness and stress away, too.  the other added benefit was that we did all of our pics before, since we didnt have to worry about not seeing each other before.
  • My dad died 2 years before I got married.  I was very close to him and I am close with my mom.  However, the job of walking me down the aisle was always reserved for my dad alone.  When I got married, I walked 2/3 of the way alone and my husband came down to meet me.  My mom never felt slighted.  She was glad that she got to watch me.  My older brother was her official escort and he walked her into the church.  We also asked my older brother to make the welcoming toast at the reception.  The father of the bride usually does this.  My younger brother did a reading and his sons were (they were 8 & 10) were my ushers.  I also carried one of my dad's engraved handkerchiefs in my bag that day.  I knew he was with me.
  • My dad passed in 2002 so my brother walked me. Do you have a brother or maybe a male cousin or Uncle? What about your grandfather?  
  • @loyalnel:Your story is almost exactly like mine! My dad passed away 2 years ago as well, and I originally planned to walk solo, because I couldn't imagine that spot being for anyone else. However, after a lot of deliberation, I decided to have my mom walk me. It's partially because she never had a "real" wedding, but I think it's a nice idea. Just walk with whoever you feel close enough to. Or have FI meet you halfway (my FI really wanted to do this).
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  • My dad passed almost 8 years ago, but my brother in law is so much like him- physically and personality wise- that I asked him to walk me. No one can replace my dad, but my BIL (whose name is actually Bill... HA!) has done a great job of being "head of the family" since he passed. My mother was hurt that I didn't ask my brother, but I have zero relationship with him.
  • I am not close with my dad. My 11 (will be 12) year old son will be walking me down the aisle next July. I say choose someone you are comfortable with, wether family member or friend. Wlaking solo may not be ideal if you end up being real nervous that day.
  • I am actually walking down the aisle with my FI.  We are having a very small, immediate family only, ceremony and the idea of walking down the aisle did not thrill me one bit (I HATE being the center of attention).  So, we are actually walking in together.  You can do whatever you want.  Follow your heart--when it feels right, you'll know.  : )
  • I'm somewhat in the same situation. I don't have a relationship with my father but my mother and I are very close. She doesn't want to walk me down the aisle, so I'm considering a close male friend of the family who I'm comfortable with. If you don't want to go solo down the aisle, then I would definately consider having your fiance walk with you. Good luck. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.
  • My Dad is still here, thank God, but in the event he was unable or uninterested in walking me down, I have both a godfather and Family Friends who would do it in his stead. However, I've always toyed with the idea of having my Best Girlfriend do it as well, anyone who knows me well enough to know if my decision to marry my Fiance` is a good one would know me well enough to "give me away" ... My two cents! :) Good luck and congrats! :) ~Twinkle
  • I went solo. There's a strength to accomplishing this milestone by myself.
  • I'm not close to my dad so my brother is walking me. I could not do it myself.
  • 1ST of all, Hello everyone...I've never posted on this board before. But to answer your question, my brother walked my sister down the aisle when she got married. He will do the same for me. However, I must say, I'm a little torn. I really want my grandmother to walk me down. I love my brother but my grandma has my heart!! (I'm her favorite! Ssshh...our little secret!)
  • I was also in the same delimma. However, my father is still living but quite frankly, having purposely not even attended my HS graduation, he pretty much had his "fatherly" priveledges ripped clean out from under him. Anyways, I reached a dilimma because he is invited and I did not want to offend him or "get back at him". I chose my grandfather to officiate our ceremony but I was also leaning towards having him walk me down the aisle. Here are some ideas I can offer: 1. My grandfather, in fact, will be walking me down the aisle. 2. My mother is walking solo at her wedding in November, however she is having a very small country style wedding and it's her 2nd time walking solo. 3. My fiance's mother actually had him walk her down the aisle when he was 12 years old and she married his step-dad after his father had died. I won't assume that you have a son, but if you have a younger brother or cousin you are close to this could be an option. Also, I'm having my grandfather say that he and my FAMILY are giving me away. My grandparents basically raised me but my family as a whole has supported me throughout my life. That's an option as well if you choose a distant family member or friend to escort you. Hope this helps and Good Luck!
  • Thank You everyone for the advice.... I have decided to walk half down solo, then have my Fiance meet me to walk the second half with me....Thank You all again
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