Customs and Traditions

Engagement Parties

So, it seems to me that no one is planning on throwing us an engagement party.  I don't really blame anyone, bc my parents are too busy paying for the wedding itself!  My FI and I were thinking of having our own.  We're in our final semesters in college and were thinking of having one just for our friends.  It would obviusly be a college-y get together.  We go to school in La Crosse, which is where Oktoberfest USA is, so we were going to do an Oktoberfest party, which would inclube a lot of drinking and craziness and my parents don't drink or anything.First of all, is it tacky to throw your own engagement party? Secondly, is it weird to do it just for friends, not family?
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Re: Engagement Parties

  • Traditionally, an engagement party is thrown in the couple's honor to give the families the opportunity to meet, and it is rude for the couple to throw it themselves.In your situation, I would just throw a party and not call it anything, or call it an Oktovberfest party.
  • Yes it is tacky to throw your own engagement party Anyone invited to any prewedding party MUST be invited to teh wedding itself. Why not just keep engagement out of it and simply throw a octoberfest party that would be fun, not tacky, and does not obligate you to a ton of guests
  • It is tacky to throw your own engagement party mainly because it is tacky to throw a party for yourself in your honor.But, there is no reason why you can't just have a party for Oktoberfest and just leave the "engagement" part out of it.
  • I would just say that you're having a party to celebrate and leave out the engagement part. Throwing yourself an engagement party essentially means you're asking for gifts which is where the tacky part comes into play. But I think that if you and your FI want to just go out and celebrate being engaged with friends then there's nothing wrong with organizing that!

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  • I disagree. I don't think it's tacky at all to host an engagement party as long as you make sure you're not expecting people to bring you gifts! The tackiness issue arises when it comes across as “I’m having a party for me! Come and bring me gifts!”  My FI and I just had one because some of his family from far away were in town, and we are not sure if they will be able to come back next year for the wedding. Also, we love any excuse for a party!The party was for immediate family plus our wedding party. Actually, we used the time to officially ask our friends to be in our wedding party; however, that’s defiantly not something you have to do! We worded the invitations to say that the party was from us to them, essentially “our gift to them.” It was to thank them for everything that they will be doing with us over the next year, and to reinforce how important they are in our lives. If you are still concered about coming across as wanting gifts, it's fine to add "best wishes only" to make sure people understand.We started with a casual style barbeque and then, later in the evening when family had left, had a house party for our friends.
  • I agree with the previous post. My FI and I actually threw our own engagement party 1) because our families are new to all of this and I guess didn't really 'know' to do this and 2) we wanted an opportunity for our friends who do not know each other to meet prior to our wedding day. It was a blast. We asked my FI's parents if they would host it in their backyard, they were more than happy to do so. We ordered some tables, chairs, bought our decorations, and food. Our parents took care of the drinks, utensils, and cake. We kept it very simple. We got some plastic champagne "glasses" and made toasts. People were having fun, and it was relaxed. On the Evite, we made sure to make it a point not to bring any gifts. It was their presence, not presents that we were expecting!We let people know that our registry info will be coming along with the Save-the-Dates and it is not until then, they can do their shopping in advance. :)
  • I agree with the past 2 posts... if you want to throw yourself an engagement party, then go for it! If people feel like they want to bring you something as a gift then more power to them! If they dont, they dont and who cares?! An engagement party, in my opinion, is just a celebration for the upcomming union. Plus you'll have plenty of time for the gift recieving later on durring the shower or actual wedding. My Fiance and I are having a small party with our friends just to celebrate the fact that hey, we're getting married! Why not!? Your idea sounds too fun to NOT do.:)
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