Customs and Traditions

Re: r

  • If I understand correctly (I might be wrong): in order for your marriage to be recognized in the Catholic faith, then your wedding must take place in the church. Also, a priest won't perform a ceremony outside of the church. However, if that's not a concern of yours, then I'd say plan your wedding to take place in any place you want. Just say "Mom/MIL, (insert your FI's name here) and I talked it over, and we decided that what suits us more is having the wedding take place at (location). It's just more 'us'." If they can't handle that, then it's their problem.
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  • Maybe the girls ont he Catholic board can be more helpful, but I know that you can get your marriage blessed after it occurs elsewhere. I just don't know the parameters. My mom and step dad got married in the Presbyterian church we attended, even though he is Catholic, because my mother was not Catholic. She then had her marriage to my father annulled (after 23 years and 3 kids, silly idea to me) and she converted to Catholocism so they could get their marriage blessed in the church and start taking communion again.
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  • FYi there is a Catholic board if you are interested You probably know that the Catholic church does not perform or recognize marriages that are not Catholic marriages. the sacrament of Catholic marriage is one that takes place in the church almost exclusively baring a special dispensation( the only dispensation I know of is a friends church was wiped out by huricane the day before they allowed the wedding at the hotel they were at) dispensations only occur for really good reasons such as described. You describve yourselves as Catholic is that what the two of you believe? Will you have kids and baptise then Catholic and raise them Catholic? Do you two go to church now? Woudl you want Catholic last rites if you die? Basically you and FI need to talk and determine if you are Catholic or not. If truly Catholic then the only way to have a Catholic wedding is in a church. If not Catholic just have a Catholic heritage then it is time to let your parents know that you do not believe or recognize the value of sacraments. Either is valid but both take some serious looks at what you actually believe and how you plan on going on in your heart and religious lives. That said if you are truly Catholic you can do a church wedding and tehn have a lovely outdoor reception. This is what we did church wedding waterfront reception
  • First of all, for future reference, you have a fiance, not a fiancee. If you're absolutely convinced that you don't want a church wedding, then you need to stand up to your moms, and tell them that you're planning the wedding that is what the TWO of you want. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to stand up for yourselves and have the wedding you want. But....I think it will help a lot for you to have your reasons for your decision clear in your own mind and that they should be definite and definable, not just we want a simple wedding. Because you can have a simple wedding in a church. You can also have an outdoor wedding officiated by a Christian minister, just not a Catholic priest. Once you've made your absolute decision, you and your FI need to sit both moms down, either together or separately, and tell them about your decision. Then you need to say, we're hoping you can support our decision, and we're not going to talk about it anymore. And if they try, tell them you're done talking about the decision, and hang up the phone, leave the room, drive home......whatever you need to do to make it abundantly clear that you're not going to second guess your decision. And be prepared to pay for your wedding all by yourself. Because that's one of the big pieces here: you pay~you say.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Mom, we understand your concerns, but we have decided not to have our wedding in the church. We are going to have a simple, outdoor wedding. I know that this is not your preference, but I hope you'll understand that this is our wedding, and we've decided to do what is best for it. Have you tried the bean dip?
  • FI's sister got married at an outdoor ceremony, then later had a ceremony at the church to "bless" the wedding. You may be having the ceremony outside the church, but you still have options to make them recognize it later if you so chose.
  • Similar to what other people were saying, I know it is not a "Catholic" marriage if it does not take place at a church.  However, I know you can either have your marriage blessed to renew your vows, and then it is a Catholic marriage.  Also, if it's not that important to you to get married in a church, don't do it!!  However, if I was in your position and my fiance's family was very religous, I might have the ceremony at a gorgeous church for his family.  I know it's "your" day, but it is their kid, and if it could avoid a big problem, I may comprmise and have the ceremony at a church and the reception outdoors.  Good luck!!
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