Customs and Traditions

why does the catholic church hate me?

I've been going to church regularly with my fiance for two years. we both are baptized, confirmed, no kids, no previous marriages, no divorces. I called as soon as i got engaged to book our church. they said it was too soon to call six months before the day. I cant book anything else before that day so i went a head and booked everything else. So i call six month beofre the day now they tell me to call in january. they just called me and told me the church is having construction and having a new alter ordered and the alter will be in but they cant use it until the bishop comes down and blesses it... which is the next day after my wedding so he cant say a mass.I've called another church  and explained our situation they dont want to unite us becuase we dont go to that church and we do not live in that district. WTF????? we dont live with each other becuase we thought it would be easier to get married in a catholic church that way.....it turns out it doesnt matter cause no one wants to marry me any way.please some words on encouragement.... come im seriously on my wits end here.....

Re: why does the catholic church hate me?

  • I don't think the catholic faith hates you, I just think you've had some bad luck.Just keep calling around until you find something.  Try not to get too discouraged, I'm sure you'll find a church soon!Just curious, since when to churches have districts?  I go to my parents house on Sundays to go to church and they live 25 miles away-I wasn't aware you had to go to certain church based on where you live (like schools).  Sounds like they care more about the fact that you aren't members.
  • Just keep calling around. Go to mass to a couple different churches. It seems that there are some that are way strict. We wanted to get married at FI's church because his grandma goes there and his grandpa was very involved and is well-known at that church. FI called to ask them about getting married there and they were somewhat rude. They said it didn't matter if his grandparents were members and that we had to pay $500 just to register as members! And that didn't include the cost to actually have our wedding there. We decided to go to the church in my hometown where membership is free and so is the ceremony, of course with a donation to the church.
  • thanks girls it feels good to know that im not the only one with bad luck, the churches i have talked to have been extremly rude to me.
  • We are getting married in the church my Fiance grew up in, however neither of us live in the parish currently.  My Fiance's father does.  The priest was not thrilled but told us that we'd need a letter of consent from the church in our neighborhood. Perhaps if you speak to your church regarding written permission to marry in another church, other churches won't be so quick to turn you down.  It seemed to me from the conversation we had with the Priest that it was very common for couples to marry in churches other than the one in their neighborhood.  So, don't worry.  There is sure to be a church locally that will marry you!
  • The Catholic church requires that you get permission from your parish if you plan to marry elsewhere.  It's mostly a formality, a recognition of your home church by the church you're marrying in.  Your officiant will help you with the paperwork.  A lot of churches will require that you either be attending or be within their geographical parish to marry there.  Most don't charge for registration (never heard of that) but expect to pay a chunk of change for the space itself.  I've run into anywhere from $700-$1500, but I live in a city. It sounds like this doesn't have anything to do with you, or your living arrangements; it's simply bad timing and maybe less than great administrative support staff at the places you're looking.  Maybe instead of calling and talking to staff, if you find a church you like, go one Sunday and talk to the priest after Mass.  If you tell him you really enjoyed the Mass and explain your situation to him in person, rather than simply calling the office like the hundreds of other brides who call every year, you might get a foot in the door, a suggestion of where to go, or at least some sympathy. Good luck!
  • thanks girls you made me feel alot better. i never got a call back from my regualr church and i was really worried about it.... turns out he was on vacation lol just my luck. the secreatry at my regualr church was really really nice and helped me out alot. thanks again!
  • Howdy, 
    We are being married in the Catholic church in 17 days. I feel your pain with the administration staff. My advise to you is go to the church you want to get married in and talk to the priest. If this gets you no where go to your local Arch-Diodes. (sorry I don't know how to spell that) and talk to the local Bishop. He will be able to advise you where you can get married. Hope this helps and good luck. 
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