Customs and Traditions

Will this be weird?

Okay so I'm super close with my mom and my dad has been non existant for most of my life (he was in the military) and has even threatened to not attend my wedding out of protest of the amount of money that is being spent (which is kind of cheap by today's standards).  My mom is already walking me down the aisle and giving me away to my groom.  Would it be too awkward if I chose to have my dance with my mom instead of my dad at the reception?

Re: Will this be weird?

  • I think that would be perfectly fine if you danced with your mom. There are a lot of songs that would be beautiful to dance to, right now I can think of "My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride.
  • Why on Earth does he care how much money is being spent?  Yes, you could certainly dance with your mom.
  • I also don't get why he cares how much money YOU spend. Anyway if I were you I would dance with my mom or skip the dance.
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  • Personally?  If I was at a wedding and someone did that I would think it was wierd.  But that's my opinion, and doesn't mean it won't be perfect for you if that's something that's important to you :)
    Married February 26th, 2011 TTC #1 since May 2011
  • I think it is a great idea.  I am a 51 year old Mom who is remarrying in 25 days.  From a Mom's point of view, I feel it most appropriate and touching.  If you are close with your Mom and your Dad is mostly out of the picture, certainly do what you feel.  I feel it would be appropriate, even if Dad played a big part in your life.  Capture these moments and do those wonderful things cause life is much too short.  Do it with no regrets!  Happy wedding!:)
  • I am doing exactly the same thing, My mom is walking me down the aisle, giving me away, and coming up to stand next to me to be my MOH. And then I'm dancing with her too!
  • I think it's a sweet idea. A friend of mine did this at her wedding two years ago...they danced to "She's Somebody's Hero." The artist's name is escaping me, but it was such a beautiful song--and I think if your mom is such a huge part of your life it's totally appropriate. :-)
  • Not at all! My mom is walking me down the aisle AND we are having mother/daughter dance. My father isn't really in my life either and I don't know if he'll be there. If you are looking for songs....we are having Bette Midler "Wind Beneath My Wings"
    Rebecca & Matt...June 26, 2010 My Bio
  • I'm doing a mother-daughter dance at my wedding. I don't think it's weird.
  • I love Stage manger's suggestion of "Where you Lead". If you want to do a traditional slow song I think that is fine. Another way to go might be to choose a more upbeat song "Let's Here it for the Girls" Martina McBride"Where you Lead" "Dancing Queen" Abba"Letting Go" Susie Burgess (this one is slow but very beautiful)You don't have to do a waltz, my mom and I used to dance in our living room to everything when I was growing up. If you feel at all insecure you could start the song with your mom and invite your bridesmaids to join in after the first couple lines or half way through. Just an idea. I think it could be very touching, fun and not at all weird.
  • I am dancing with my mom & my dad. Two of my sisters did the same thing. My dad wasn't around all that much growing up. My mom raised us. But now I have a good relationship with my dad. So they both get a dance!!! I don't think there is anything weird about it!
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  • my mom just passed away in april, so i think it is an amazing thing that you want to dance with your mom. i think you'll really treasure that moment with her and you'll regret not doing it, if you decide not too. :)
  • I went to a wedding where the bride danced with her mom and her dad seperately. At first I was kinda thrown off when she started dancing with her mom because I had never seen it done before and then I thought about it for a second and understood. Her parents are divorced so she wanted to share a special moment with each of them at her reception. Do what you want to do, it's your day, especially if it has meaning to you!
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  • do what you want and what is most special to you. if you want, you could nix the bride/parent dance altogether. no one would notice. i will probably do this as i am not particularly close with my dad plus he hates dancing and being the center of attention.
  • id personally just forego the dances altogether.  i would find it strange if i saw a mother/daughter dance, unless the daughter was, say, 5 or 6.  the dances in general are boring to watch.
  • Do it! Who cares what he thinks. Plus it might be wierd if he does attend your wedding since he's being a pain about it...An alternative could be you dancing with HIS dad, and him dancing with your mom instead.....But I would say having your dance with your mom is awesome!
  • Try not to worry about his threats or his issues with finances.  If he hasn't been there for you until now, why should you put much thought into that? My thought would be 'Don't come' (but that's me...)  Do whatever your heart desires; you are the bride! It would be an honor to your Mother for you to chose to dance with her!!  Best of luck!
  • I grew up with both my parents and love them both and felt that they were both important to me and I am really close to my mom so I did a separate dance with my father and my mother.  I felt that she is such an important part of my life she should also be highlighted.  My mom loved it (it was a surprise, she had no idea about it) and I'm sure your mom will too.  It was really special to me and everyone at the wedding thought it was really sweet (I did do a quick speech beforehand about my mom and had her stand since it was a surprise). We danced to Wind Beneath my Wings by Bette Midler.  It is a long song so I had the DJ fade the song out after a bit.  So, I say do it, you'll both love the special moment.
  • Thank you all so much!! I was hoping that I'd get this kind of response.  I did consider just skipping the dances but my FI is a big momma's boy and his mom well, she needs that spotlight because my mom is walking me down, so that's her "moment."  So I feel like if he is dancing with his mom, it would be equally weird if I didn't.  That song "Somebody's Hero" was what I had in mind or "I Hope You Dance" by LeAnn Womack.  Thank you all for the song suggestion.  I really think that my dad is rolling all the years of parenting that he missed into one lecture on how to spend my money wisely.  He's trying to prevent the mistakes that he & my mom made when they got married etc.  To mix it up a bit, my parents are divorced and my dad did have an affair with my stepmom & married her 6 months after the dovrce was final.  So that's a whole other ball of wax we get to deal with.
  • If I could have dancing at my wedding I would so steal your idea!  It is against the denomination of church I attend, and that is one requirement for using the building.  :( Anyway, I just have a song suggestion. I hope you dance--by Lee Ann WomackIt was the first song that came to mind when I read your post.  Remember it is your day... Do what you want or what you feel is okay, don't worry about anyone else.  Enjoy your self, do what you think is right, and DANCE YOUR HEART OUT!  Have fun, and congratulations!   
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