Money Dance???

verycrafty

FI and I have everything planned and are near finalizing the details.  The venue coordinator (who has been exceptioonal!!) insists that we should have a money dance at the reception.  She says it is quite common still.  The last wedding I went to (when I was a young teenager) did have a money dance, but I haven't heard of recent weddings having these.  I feel kind of awkward having one, like it will come off as tacky. 

Are you having one?

trix1223

If you haven't heard of it in your area, it's a clear signal that you shouldn't do it.

I abhor $$ dances.  Your wedding should not be, for any reason, a fundraiser.  To ask guests who have already given up a day, perhaps traveled, perhaps bought attire, probably bought a wedding gift-to have to PAY to dance with you is just, IMO, the height of rude.

You'll get different replies here from people who don't see anything wrong with it.  I'm not one of them.  If you want to dance with your guests, dance with them.  Just don't make them pay for "honor" of it.

It's cheesy, rude, and unneccessary.

amagwire

More than it being rude to ask your guest for money to dance with you, it's really, terribly awkward.

squirrelly29

Please don't do this...they are awful. I was at one wedding where this happened in FL and 90% of the guests were appalled.

cukimerrydoll

Even if it's still common in your area, it's not something that will be missed.

skippylouwho

To me it's the same thing as standing on the corner and accepting money. That is how much I abhor this "tradition".

LesPaul

Ditto pps.  Mondy dances are tacky, unnecessary, and I can't stand them.  Just say no.

mehgank

I wasn't planning on having one because I consider them tacky and a bit lame, but my FMIL said it's tradition in their culture, so we're having one.

Of the 5 weddings I've been to, only one had a dollar dance, and the bride & groom only "earned" about $20.

Kmartella4

I just went to a wedding this past weekend where they did it.... NO. It is tacky. Also, for the people that might not participate in the dollar dance, it is boring just sitting there watching people slow dance with the bride and groom.

aerinpegadrak

Cowboy up and tell her that you're not doing one.  Don't let your vendors push you around.

Amy_Justin

If you think it's tacky, don't have one. There's no reason why your vendors should dictate how your day goes. Personally, I think it's super tacky to make a wedding reception into a fundraiser.

dolanjj

until i came onto theknot.com, i had never seen or heard of this tradtion.  and i have to say, i am absolutely appalled by the whole thing.  what a terrible idea!  it seems very uncomfortable, awkward, tacky...and money-grubbing.  not my thing.

verycrafty

Thank you to all for your input.  I was really feeling awkward about it, but you have put my mind at ease.  I feel like I might just as well stand there with a cardboard sign "Will dance for Money" or something. 

I do like the idea of the "well wishes" dance.  I will suggest this to FI after work tonight and see what his feeling is.

[Deleted User]

They're not my favorite, but I don't mind them. Then again, it's tradition around here and I grew up with them so they just seem like a normal part of weddings to me. Not money-grubbing, just tradition. Maybe it's a southern thing?

My cousin held one at her wedding and took home an extra $1500. People were paying 10s and 20s for a dance. Personally, the only way anyone outside of my FI and father is gonna get me to dance is by paying me. I HATE to dance, it makes me so uncomfortable.

My mom really wants to do a dollar dance, but FI and I haven't decided yet. Although we aren't offended by it or anything, we just don't really care.

LisaMarieReust

I always love the money dances because it gives guests a chance to have one on one time with the bride or groom.

megk8oz

I'm also in Camp "It's tacky". I'm from an area where it's rarely done, and from a family where it's never done. I've heard some people on here say it's a "Polish tradition", and nobody in my extremely Polish family has ever done this since they came to America (Which was almost 80 years ago). I think originally it was supposed to be something like "in lieu of a wedding gift", as in yes, guests paid to dance with the couple, but the couple received no other gifts at the wedding.

As for my region, I've only been to one wedding that had something where guests handed cash to the couple, and it wasn't even a "traditional" Dollar Dance. It was really bizarre: The DJ sat the B&G in the middle of the dance floor and then had like 2 people from each table collect cash from everybody at the table, and then the 2 people had to dance for the bride and groom and then hand over the money. At the time, DH and I were very recently engaged, we watched the whole thing, completely horrified and actually said  "Over my dead body" when my friend (The bride) suggested we do the same thing at our wedding "just to get some extra money from people".

angegary

Coming from Maine, the "dollar dance" is still out there and some people and families have a blast with it.  I just went to 2 wedding that kept this tradition I grew up with. On the other hand, I will not be having this at my wedding.  It all depends on how comfortable you are with it.  If you think it's tacky....skip it.   Hey, I've even been to a wedding where groomsman passed a shoe around to filll with dollar bills! Theres a lot of crazy rituals out there!

Ken&Cass

I think it depends on where you live to whether or not this is still a common tradition.

skippylouwho

Why doesn't the idea of a money dance just not scream HOOKER to everyone?  I absolutely don't get it. 

sbily2010

i got to ask semi not related to the dollar dance thing but i coudn't imagine not carrying my purse or money on me for one day. Why wouldn't someone bring a wallet with them? sure your not expecting to pay for things at a wedding but what about driving to and from the event no back up money for gas or if something breaks down? even if the couple has an open bar what if the bar tender requests id from everyone before serving them? idk just doesn't seem practical or realistic to me.

tytbody

carry it, just get a Leiber bag. you will be fine... they do have wedding bags so it will be okay.

sbily2010

oh yea deff be doing that i just don't get it when people say they go places without money/id etc..

[Deleted User]

I personally don't like them, but where I'm from we call them "Dollar Dances" and everyone gives a dollar and dances with the bride or groom. A lot of people don't participate and that's the point if they don't want to they do not have to, but a lot of people find it a nice way to give the bride and groom a "little" extra cash for the honeymoon. At that point, what's a dollar really? Most people can afford that.

However I love the idea of the best wishes dance thing too. Good idea. My advice pick and choose your battles, get too upset about this and it will set the mood. Either gracefully decline having a dance or figure out an alternative.

aerinpegadrak

If I'm wearing something without pockets, I give my ID and debit card to FI to hang on to.  But I try to wear pockets whenever possible.  But in either case, I don't carry cash.  When I'm invited to a party, I expect it to be fully hosted, and if I'm asked to pull out my wallet for anything, I'm likely to just leave.