Obligation to host dinner/reception after Jewish conversion ceremony?

jwbtok

We are the parents of the bride who will be having a conversion ceremony the Friday evening before their Sunday evening wedding.  Both are taking place several states away where the couple lives. I'm not sure if there is, traditionally, any kind of reception/dinner (since it is in the evening) after the ceremony.  The couple has included "conversion ceremony" on their wedding website as something guests in town could attend.  Right now, have no clue how many might attend (tho. at most 4-5 from the bride's side will be in town Friday nite.  Probably a few more from the groom's side since she is converting to their faith.)  And not sure if Temple members come, as well.  We have contributed a considerable amount to the wedding, will have hosted her bridal shower, and have the expenses involved in flying out to the wedding (airline tickets, hotel, car, hosting breakfast for bride's side guests, etc.)  The groom's family has contributed to the wedding and will be hosting the rehearsal dinner the next evening. And the bride and groom are also helping to pay for the wedding.   And even if there isn't, traditionally, a reception afterwards, there will be family members attending who will need a meal afterwards and who have already gone to considerable time and expense to get there.  The only ones who live in town are the bride and groom, so no one has a home to host even something as simple as a pizza party.  Would appreciate any thoughts/help!

GoodLuckBear14

You should probably post htis under the Jewish Weddings section under th Cultural Weddings Boards.

s-aries8990

Someone should host something, even if you all just walk to the local pizza joint and the hosts (whoever it may be, and it may be several people) pick up the tab for the pizzas and soda.

OliveOilsMom

I don't think you would be obligated to host anything for any temple members who happen to show up for the conversion ceremony.  But is there anyway to even have some sandwich trays and drinks in a meeting room directly after the ceremony (if the temple has an area available)?  You should try to have something hosted.

Jen4948

"Conversion ceremonies" aren't normally invitational events in Judaism, but if you do invite someone, yes, you have to provide some form of hospitality.  Not to do so is rude.

Jager1219

I would put this in the same category as a bris or brita (spelling?), baptisim, first communion, bar/bat mitzvah.  In all the above, a reception is appropriate for those in attendance (not members of the community who just so happen to be there, but invited guests).

Avion22

Um, if the bride and groom live there, then don't they presumably have someplace in which to host a pizza party?   An apartment?  

I agree that someone should host something appropriate for the time of day.  Some cocktail apps in a Temple meeting room would be fine, but a pizza party or hosted dinner at a restaraunt would be good too.  Since the couple doesn't know how many people might attend the conversion ceremony, I would lean toward doing something in the Temple meeting room.  

YOU, as the bride's parents, should not feel obligated to host anything.  This is an event for the Bride, so she should be the one to host something.  

jessicabessica

If this will be at the regular Friday evening service, I think it would be a nice gesture to host something after the service at the synagogue.  It does not need to be extensive (cookies, tea/coffee, etc., depending on timing).  Usually someone will host in honor of a birthday, an anniversary, etc. - so hosting it in honor of the conversion would be fitting.  It would be highly inappropriate to exclude regular synagogue attendees from this, so whoever hosts should plan to have enough for everyone.  I would recommend calling the synagogue to see if there is a caterer or someone there to prepare food, and they may have dietary restrictions on what can be brought in (kosher).  You (or whoever wants to host) may be able to tell someone at the synagogue how much you can contribute, and that person will arrange all the details. 

I also don't understand why the bride and groom cannot have people over for dinner after the service, if they live in town.  It would be lovely for them to host a small meal for Shabbat (the Jewish sabbath) at their home, especially since she just converted and it will be a special time right before the wedding.  

If you have more questions about this, I encourage you to post on the Jewish board (on the left under cultural boards).

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_obligation-to-host-dinnerreception-after-jewish-conversion-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:226146da-2d0d-4abd-a84b-89074d4e268aPost:ccf508c5-c00b-40af-8049-7b67558ca782">Re: Obligation to host dinner/reception after Jewish conversion ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Um, if the bride and groom live there, then don't they presumably have someplace in which to host a pizza party?</strong>   An apartment?   I agree that someone should host something appropriate for the time of day.  Some cocktail apps in a Temple meeting room would be fine, but a pizza party or hosted dinner at a restaraunt would be good too.  Since the couple doesn't know how many people might attend the conversion ceremony, I would lean toward doing something in the Temple meeting room.   YOU, as the bride's parents, should not feel obligated to host anything.  This is an event for the Bride, so she should be the one to host something.  
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

Not all apartments have hosting space.  I live in a tiny apartment that doesn't. 

That said, I do think that something needs to be hosted somewhere.