Bridesmaids questions!

atemple09

Okay, I have a question that I can't seem to get a straight answer on and it's been haunting me the past month or so.

After I declared who my MOH is going to be to my mother, who is a little bit sensitive..., she seemed a little hurt. Sooo after the deceleration she kind of named herself a bridesmaid without asking me. It shocked me at first, and I'm kind of unsure if I want her to be one, should I just swallow my pride and allow her to be a brides maid, or should I tell her no? Also, is it tradition that a mother be a bridesmaid?

[Deleted User]

If wedding talk between you and your Mom is going to be a source of tension, then just refrain from telling her much about the wedding.

And I have never heard of a Mom being a BM. While I am sure it has happened before, I can't see why your Mom would want to be a BM. Being a MOB is quite an honor and I would think she would just want to sit back and enjoy being your Mom for the day.

Summer2011Bride

I have seen parents as honor attendants a couple times when the bride/groom was especially close to them and asked them to fill that role. If you don't want to though, she shouldn't pressure you into it. Just tell her that you find MOB to be an honor in and of itself and hope she is happy celebrating your wedding with you as an honored guest (which I see MOB as being). If she doesn't drop it, don't bring up the wedding with her.

midgetthemighty

I wouldn't give in to her. As PP have said, just let her know that MOB is a high honor in your mind. Hopefully this will excite her! Were you planning on having a unity candle or anything like that? If you weren't, I would reconsider for her sake so that she has something to do in the ceremony that is meaningful. It would be awkward for her to walk out of the WP line to do these things to me. Good luck!

ETA: I have been to one wedding where a parent was part of the BP (MOH specifically) and I personally thought it was odd. I've always regared MOB as a wonderfully honorable spot myself.

shopgrl3177

I think it's a bigger honor to be MOB than a bridesmaid.  Your mom will stand out more walking down the aisle as your mom than she would standing in a group of bridesmaids. 

mrsjustinm2b

why on earth would you want to be a BM when you're the MOB?? Tell your mom that she already has a VERY honorable spot as the MOB. The only difference really would be that she stands up with you, which is actually not all the uncommon to have parents stand up with you and the parents always do if you're marrying in the jewish faith. Is that what this s about?? Why also would she want to wear a BM dress and blend in with the rest of the WP? Thats's a bit odd.

trix1223

I've been the MOB.  If my DD had asked me to be in her WP, I guess I would have done it for her.  But I'm awfully glad I didn't have to be.  Being MOB is, as the commercial says, priceless.  It was a very wonderful day for DH and me, as well as for our DD and SIL. 

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bridesmaids-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:3173c0dd-0c33-4a25-a354-a7ffdc8b75f7Post:db321194-34b9-404a-8a9c-b76a8da3ff7b">Re: Bridesmaids questions!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong><em>I think it's a bigger honor to be MOB than a bridesmaid. </em> Your mom will stand out more walking down the aisle as your mom than she would standing in a group of bridesmaids. </strong>
Posted by shopgrl3177[/QUOTE]

<div>AMEN!</div>

jleahd33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bridesmaids-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:3173c0dd-0c33-4a25-a354-a7ffdc8b75f7Post:962d937c-da84-4bf9-a645-40e6bf508046">Re: Bridesmaids questions!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>why on earth would you want to be a BM when you're the MOB?? Tell your mom that she already has a VERY honorable spot as the MOB.</strong> The only difference really would be that she stands up with you, which is actually not all the uncommon to have parents stand up with you and the parents always do if you're marrying in the jewish faith. Is that what this s about?? Why also would she want to wear a BM dress and blend in with the rest of the WP? Thats's a bit odd.
Posted by mrsjustinm2b[/QUOTE]

Agreed! This does seem a little odd... I like the idea of giving her other responsibilieies like PP said with the Unity Candle or maybe she would like to do one of the readings during the ceremony.  (If not father) it would be a great idea to ask her to walk you down the aisle.

Maybe she has never gotten to be a BM in a wedding of her friends, so she is trying to get that chance in her daughter's wedding, but I think you should explain how MOB is such an honor she should be proud to filfill the role.


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Savanna111911

I would just talk to her and tell her how important MOB is, and how much more distinguished (and relaxing) that would be.

Maybe you could have her and your father walk you down the aisle together? Maybe that could be a compromise?

MrsPnky2B

*chuckle* my mom would pull something like this. Thank goodness she hasn't. She gets the MOB role. But she is looking for a FAAABulous dress. No problem. I know how much she loves attention and that she is loving that this is her day too. 
It sounds like your mom is similar to mine and if so she'll be happy w/ MOB if you tell her how FAABUlous a role it is.