DRY reception

sheighk

We're doing a dry reception, meaning no alcohol.  I've had several people already freak out on me after I mention this saying that they'd bring their own wine or whatever, but we also have alcoholics in my family who would feel uncomfortable with the wine there.  We are planning to do about an hour in between the ceremony and reception (at the same venue) for photos.  The wedding is in the local botanical gardens.  Do I need to have them serve something during that hour or is it ok to just say wander the gardens and enjoy the scenery while we take pics? Coctails are not an option.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dry-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:342fde30-927d-40d4-badf-87b7c2edd545Post:73b50057-ea90-463c-9cd9-e060c23bd10c">DRY reception</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing a dry reception, meaning no alcohol.  I've had several people already freak out on me after I mention this saying that they'd bring their own wine or whatever, but<strong> we also have alcoholics in my family who would feel uncomfortable with the wine there</strong>.  We are planning to do about an hour in between the ceremony and reception (at the same venue) for photos.  The wedding is in the local botanical gardens.  Do I need to have them serve something during that hour or is it ok to just say wander the gardens and enjoy the scenery while we take pics? Coctails are not an option.
Posted by sheighk[/QUOTE]

If you didn't have alcoholics in the family would you still be having a dry wedding?

aerinpegadrak

Your guests must be hosted while you're taking your pictures.  "Cocktail hour" does not necessitate alcohol, it just necessitates light food and beverages.  It's absolutely fine to have a dry cocktail hour (your guests aren't really ever going to hear it referred to as a cocktail hour, it's not like they'll get confused), but it's also absolutely not okay to have a gap with no refreshments provided, especially when everything is at one venue.  Chances are pretty good that if they're left to just wander the gardens, they'll wander off to their cars and not come back. 

mgietler76

You need to serve your guests something during the hour you are taking photo's. It doesn't have to be alcohol.

Soda, juice, coffee, water and light app's is perfectly acceptable.
 
As far as people bringing their own booze, I would contact your vendor and see what the restrictions are on outside alcohol being brought in. If they don't allow it, simply inform your guests of this.

naomikb

Food and beverages are required for the "cocktail" hour, dry or not.  I would be pretty pissed if the bride and groom left for an hour without me having something to eat or drink and a place to sit.

Is the dry reception only because of the alcoholics or because of budget or other reasons?

Have you talked to the alcoholics about it?  Although it may make them "uncomfortable", most alcoholics go places where liquor is served.  This is part of the challenge on an ongoing basis for alcoholics to stay sober.  Family parties, weddings, restaurants, etc. are places that alcoholics can't just avoid forever.  I would talk to them to see how they feel about it, if you need to make the reception dry or not.  If it is not a dry reception, they can always choose to not attend if they think it would be too much pressure.

Will there be wine served at dinner?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

A good way to avoid people telling you they don't like your wedding plans is to stop discussing your wedding around them.

DramaGeek

We had a dry wedding, for various reasons, as did my college roommate.  We had absolutely no problems, but the people who were invited expected that as they knew us and our families well.  My college roommate had the problem you mentioned, people saying they were going to bring their own.  She told her venue and they kept an eye out for it.  If anyone did bring their own, it was taken care of quickly and quietly as none of the wedding party ever heard about it.

SD3194

I've only been to two dry weddings and at each one people walked in with 12 packs. It was pretty trashy looking and these were not cheap weddings. I know one venue didn't allow people to bring in alcohol so the guests just drank it outside which I found awkward. Personally, I'm not a fan of dry weddings but if that's what works best in your situation then go for it.

theanglfac

I agree with PP, you need to serve something, but it does not have to be alcohol. Maybe your venue could make up fun non-alcoholic drinks that are named after different plants or flowers in the garden. If you want people to wander the gardens maybe set up the drinks and refreshments in different areas of the garden so people walk around and try different things.

soontobeschooley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dry-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:342fde30-927d-40d4-badf-87b7c2edd545Post:213fb6c2-6795-4b0c-8312-43813e96d69c">Re: DRY reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only been to two dry weddings and at each one people walked in with 12 packs. It was pretty trashy looking and these were not cheap weddings. I know one venue didn't allow people to bring in alcohol so the guests just drank it outside which I found awkward. Personally, I'm not a fan of dry weddings but if that's what works best in your situation then go for it.
Posted by SD3194[/QUOTE]

Ew.  I feel bad for the bride and groom. 

shortee426

I think you should do soda, water, lemonade, iced tea and perhaps a few "mocktails."

lilwon2007

We are thinking of a Dry reception too.. lol
I didnt know what that ment.
anyways,
Im a very active Christian and he is not but he was basically raised in church too so we are going to have our reception at the new gym they made at his old chuch. that means no alcohol which im completely happy with that cause mayb 5 of my friends drink the rest dont. but we are going to have an after party with our close friends and relatives so they can have a drink if they want to! 

People are never going to be satisfied. So do what you need to do and enjoy your day. If they dont like it they can deal with it!

Summer2011Bride

A dry reception is your prerogative. I have been to some and we still had fun. Some people may leave early or be unhappy, but like PP said, someone will be unhappy no matter what you do.

You do need to host drinks and apps though if you are taking pics. You could do "mocktails", fruit beverages, tea, coffee, water, pop, etc. LOTS of beverage choices exist that aren't alcohol.

stephasuasu

I have never been to a dry wedding, and thinking about my friends and family, I probably never will (phew!). Not only is it possible for people to leave early and not dance, people will also scamper off to their rooms/cars to chug a few before and during your wedding. Do you really want to spend that much money on a party and have people dipping in and out because of your alcohol situation? It seems as though if someone doesn't want to host a big party with booze, then they really don't want to host a big party! Eloping is always an option......

Serve what you want, but in America many have come accustomed to celebrating with family, food and booze. It's a trifecta that is essential for a successful big, huge, celebration. Eliminate one thing from the mix and you may be surrounded by disappointed guests......but if this is something that you would want to deal with, then by all means, go dry!

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_dry-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:342fde30-927d-40d4-badf-87b7c2edd545Post:8ca7fb8b-3fbb-4760-95ed-8c4438d6f6cc">Re: DRY reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never been to a dry wedding, and thinking about my friends and family, I probably never will (phew!). Not only is it possible for people to leave early and not dance, people will also scamper off to their rooms/cars to chug a few before and during your wedding. Do you really want to spend that much money on a party and have people dipping in and out because of your alcohol situation? It seems as though if someone doesn't want to host a big party with booze, then they really don't want to host a big party! Eloping is always an option...... <strong>Serve what you want, but in America many have come accustomed to celebrating with family, food and booze</strong>. It's a trifecta that is essential for a successful big, huge, celebration. Eliminate one thing from the mix and you may be surrounded by disappointed guests......but if this is something that you would want to deal with, then by all means, go dry!
Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]
It's not just an American thing.  I read a really interesting article from a sociology journal that talked about how deeply intrinsic alcohol is to human culture (it's theorized that we developed agriculture in order to brew more efficiently), and how it's so tightly linked with celebration and transition in every part of the world.  Sadly, I don't think I saved the article, but it was really long and academic so people who aren't total nerds like me would find it very dull reading.

Manwaithiel

Your reception will probably be shorter. I don't care for alcohol for the most part and it definitely makes me tired so that I'D want to go home early, so I don't really understand that, but I'm in the self-proclaimed minority on that one.

Mocktails are definitely a good idea. They can be a lot of fun. If your guests are going to be trashy enough to bring in 6 packs of beer and funnel it or something just because they can NOT be without their fix for a couple hours, then that's on them and they have their own problems. If that's a legal issue with your venue or something, I'd recommend hiring a security guard to deal with it if the issue arises.

Please host your guests during the gap. Light appetizers and lemonade, water, and soft drinks sound great. But don't leave them hanging. I'm sure some of them will peruse the gardens, but that's not something you can do in formal wear for upwards of an hour.

uyen7477

Wet & Dry has its' pros & cons.  The biggest con for us was budget.  But thanks to alehayes, gonna look into mocktails & cocktails, to add to array of refreshments.

Now that that's settled...Any ideas on budget-friendly, but flavorfully-yummy menu for vietnamese-american backyard wedding?
Traditionally it's a 10-course, seafood, family-style dinner at Chinese restaurant.  Want to deviate, but still have it delectable to asian palate.
Many thanks,
Uyennie

texasgurly13

FI and I decided to have a dry reception because of all the "hidden" costs associated with having liquor at our venue (the bartender and security...plus the actual alcohol).  It made more sense with our budget not to have it.  We're gonna have cheese, fruit and vegetable trays, and an assortment of kolaches along with sodas and punch (and water of course) for our cocktail hour.    

The only reason I even wanted to have it is for the toast, but we might use sparkling white grape juice instead.  And our reception will end early enough in the evening where people who want to go out afterwards can.

Starqueg

I've never understood why people think weddings require alcohol.  If you tell people that no alcohol is allowed, they should be adult enough to not complain about it and will still have a good time.  If you're doing toasts, have sparkling cider, otherwise, have sodas, juices, and water with meals and coffee and tea with dessert. 

Yolie622

Hi. We are also having a Dry reception. We will be serving sodas, water & juice though. We are also giving out a signature drink in separate bottles for some. We don't drink & 85% of our families don't either. We aren't giving the 15% who do drink a prior warning about the dry reception. Don't want to risk 6 packs coming in the door.