to buy

jackie p

can i find out what mother of bride is to buy for her daughter,every day someone tells me something else i have to get I NEED A LIST OF MUST HAVES!!! JP

MyNameIsNot

The MOB doesn't need to buy the bride anything.  

What are you talking about?

GoodLuckBear14

Nothing.  I'm curious about the list of things others have given you.

lostmykeys

Recent MOB here:

I would think it depends on to what degree you are paying for your daughter's wedding. 

Are you paying for the whole wedding, as we did?  If so, you need to get together with your daughter and plan together what she needs.  We did a lot of list making:  what is everything she needs for her wedding outfit (dress, undergarments, garter, etc), what flowers does she need, going away outfit, etc...

If you are providing for part of the wedding, first figure out what you need to provide for that part.

In everything, I cleared it through my daughter.  There were a lot of things friends and the wedding industry were pushing that I needed to get for her wedding.  I would ask my daughter and she would say, "Nope.  Don't need that."  Then she asked for other things...like a concert marimba for her brother to play at the wedding

It can be overwhelming, but prioritize, make lists and it will get done!

HobokensFury

There are no must haves and you don't have to buy anything.  Are you talking about the wedding itself, attire, bridal shower? We may be able to give you ideas if you are specific.

Avion22

My mom didn't buy me anything.  Okay, both of my parents paid for the wine and champagne at our wedding, which was awesome.  But everything else we paid for ourselves.  My parents didn't get us a wedding gift (I mean, the wine/champagne was our gift, but they didn't get anything from the registry).

So....I guess I would say that all you should "give" her is love and support?   That should be gift enough:-)

[Deleted User]

MOB here....
It was our choice not our obligation to pay for items.  We told our daughter when she got engaged that we would contribute a specific dollar amount to the wedding.
Then I had the opportunity to pick up a second temporary teaching position and used that $$ to pay for her wedding gown, veil, shoes, jewelry etc.  But this was MY thing, between my daughter and myself.   

kyreneg12

I am a bride & my mother is helping pay for some of our wedding. Mostly me and my mother and FI are planning together. We both have our own to-do list. We sat down together and desired which one of us was going to do & pay for what. Though there has been occations in the planning where one of us decides that something extra is needed and the other dosen't agree. then it's an ok then you pay for that deal. So far this is working well for us. 

My suggestion is, 1) only your daughter should be expressing what she needs & wants you to pay for in her wedding. & 2) take the other MOB's advice on here. Not only have they been or are they in your same shoes and seem to be happy, but jealousy can lead you astray. take care. 

jackie p

Thanks for the help,to  answer some questions  we are paying for our daughters wedding ,we do have list made up .I have been told  I need gift baskets for the hotel guest and  baskets for the bathroom just in case items, I know what her something old, new etc are .I don't do anything untill I check with my daughter she is the lead here  (I had my day,her turn).  I was not sure if  mob needed  a special something for her daughter on that big day. I don't want to miss anyting. Thanks   JP

kyreneg12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_to-buy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:40140c7d-852b-4d87-8fd8-077ec00a2956Post:97aa148e-6d84-4e6f-b439-3e620f674539">Re: to buy</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the help,to  answer some questions  we are paying for our daughters wedding ,we do have list made up .I have been told  I need gift baskets for the hotel guest and  baskets for the bathroom just in case items, I know what her something old, new etc are .I don't do anything untill I check with my daughter she is the lead here  (I had my day,her turn).  I was not sure if  mob needed  a special something for her daughter on that big day. I don't want to miss anyting. Thanks   JP
Posted by jackie p[/QUOTE]
I am making gift baskets for our OOT guest and having them placed in their hotel rooms. It's just good hospitality. Same with the bathroom just in case items. Though, if your daughter feels that the money for theses things can be better spent elsewhere that's fine too. <div>As for the something special for the bride, not sure. Never heard of that before. Though I don't know everything either. I'm sure if you want to get her something special that would be nice. Though I don't think by any means you have to.</div><div>To me my mother helping pay for our wedding is special enough. I don't expect her to do any thing more than that. If she does do anything more I would feel like I owe her. But that's just me. Hope that helped a little. Happy planning. </div>