NEED ADVICE fighting with fiance over what family pays for what

alesiagottschalk130

I am getting so frustrated this time is supposed to be a time of joy and yet all my fiance and I do is argue about the venue. My family does not have a lot of money and they are doing payment plans for the venue which is two grand. He keeps saying that he is scared that it will not get paid in time our wedding is in october. How can i get him to relax and just tell him it is being handled? 

Kristin789

Your family is paying for the venue in their own way, which is none of FI's business.  You need to find out what is really bugging FI, because clearly this IS being handled.

AdeleDazeem

Did your parents offer to pay for the venue?  If this is how they want to do it, then that's fine.  I do understand your fiance's concern.  If you're going to accept money from people, it's also a good idea to have the funds in place to take over payments should the original money dissappear.  It's just being smart.

Good luck!

Annas2013

I agree with pp's.  Your FI needs to chill out and be thankful your parents are contributing at all.  If he's that worried, he should have a backup plan in case the money doesn't come through.

GoodLuckBear14

If your FI is that concerned, then the two of you should start saving now to cover the cost if your parents aren't able to make payments. 

And in answer to the title of your post, the parents of either side do not have to pay for a single thing.  The wedding, reception, and honeymoon expenses are the responsibility of the couple getting married.  It is nice when the parents offer to contribute but remember that this is a gift and not a requirement.

redheadfsu

I see your FI's point.

Life happens and sometimes people can not afford what they have promised. To protect yourself, you should start saving so you can cover the cost if necessary. (Ditto PPs that the bride and groom are responsible for the cost of the wedding).

HobokensFury

You should start saving the money in case they can't pay.  I hope they ofered and you didn't ask or demand that they pay.

MrsGarrett87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-advice-fighting-with-fiance-over-what-family-pays-for-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:47897a90-d3a5-41e1-beff-b23f83606ef8Post:a3641579-35a2-4b36-877b-2a58e0da3a4a">Re: NEED ADVICE fighting with fiance over what family pays for what</a>:
[QUOTE]Your family is paying for the venue in their own way, which is none of FI's business.  You need to find out what is really bugging FI, because clearly this IS being handled.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]



But don't you think it IS his business? It's his wedding too. It's great to get help from parents, regardless of whose. End of it all, the event is on the shoulders of both the B and G. Its too bad you're fightingthing about it.

Until contracts/money are set in stone, I kinda see his concern. I agree with the finding out what is bugging him, maybe it's just the overall stress. My FI and I had a lot of arguments during our planning, we made an effort to sit-down and figure out what the hell we were REALLY arguing about. We worked things out and learned from each other. It was good. At one point I said to him, (in a half joking half thoughtful tone) no wonder people plan weddings, it's a stressful test of your commitment
to marriage.

MayberryAfterMidnight

Have your parents offered to pay for other things in the past (not wedding related) and fallen through? Are they notoriously unreliable? If so, I don't blame your FI for being a bit worried. And it's the venue of all things - a wedding's not going to happen without the venue! However, they ARE your parents, so I also don't blame you for being protective of them. Sit down and address this head-on with your FI, have faith in your parents, but be realistic and start saving for the venue on your own. Best case scenario? Your parents will come through and you'll have some moolah saved up for whatever you want!

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-advice-fighting-with-fiance-over-what-family-pays-for-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:47897a90-d3a5-41e1-beff-b23f83606ef8Post:e18ecd16-1b15-4c20-beda-2e1164b04d51">NEED ADVICE fighting with fiance over what family pays for what</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting so frustrated this time is supposed to be a time of joy and yet all my fiance and I do is argue about the venue. My family does not have a lot of money and they are doing payment plans for the venue which is two grand. He keeps saying that he is scared that it will not get paid in time our wedding is in october. How can i get him to relax and just tell him it is being handled? 
Posted by alesiagottschalk130[/QUOTE]

The best way to prove this is being handled is to handle it yourself.  Pay for your venue <u>yourself</u>, with no help from anyone's parents.  Problem solved.

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-advice-fighting-with-fiance-over-what-family-pays-for-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:47897a90-d3a5-41e1-beff-b23f83606ef8Post:a5d90692-c2a8-4306-990d-4675fdf4ae79">Re: NEED ADVICE fighting with fiance over what family pays for what</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to NEED ADVICE fighting with fiance over what family pays for what : The best way to prove this is being handled is to handle it yourself.  Pay for your venue yourself , with no help from anyone's parents.  Problem solved.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

<div>There's nothing wrong with accepting money from parents.</div><div>
</div><div>OP - are your parent's unreliable in terms of money? If so, I'd understand your fiance's concern. But if he just doesn't like the idea of not having everything paid upfront, in full - perhaps he just needs to relax a little. Is the payment plan something your parents can afford? It's not a bad idea to save up for the venue yourself in case anything falls through, but don't feel like you aren't allowed to accept money from your family.</div>