Pakistani/ American Ceremony

chitwngal2010

Hi Girls,

I just got engaged about 2 weeks ago! My fiance and i have been together for almost 5yrs and have a 2yr together. My parents are tradional and religious and Pakistanian, i am not all that religious, but my fiance who is Cathlic is pretty religious. We have comprised and are not going to have a religious ceremony. i am very close to my parents and want them to be  at the wedding, they are somewhat embarrased by the fact that i had a child out of wedlock and think it's not a good idea to have a big wedding and point out that fact, they think i should just go to a courthouse and be done with it. not sure how to get my parents to be comfortable with at least being at the wedding maybe not reception. they know i am have a wedding but my mom has told me she is not comfortable attending. how do i explain this to my in-laws without them thinking negatively about them?

HoneyBuzzz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_pakistani-american-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:522a8195-e352-4248-a2c1-52164f043764Post:ad69e6cf-f31b-43b1-998f-443b48ac3ecc">Pakistani/ American Ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Girls, I just got engaged about 2 weeks ago! My fiance and i have been together for almost 5yrs and have a 2yr together. My parents are tradional and religious and Pakistanian, i am not all that religious, but my fiance who is Cathlic is pretty religious. We have comprised and are not going to have a religious ceremony. i am very close to my parents and want them to be  at the wedding, they are somewhat embarrased by the fact that i had a child out of wedlock and think it's not a good idea to have a big wedding and point out that fact, they think i should just go to a courthouse and be done with it. not sure how to get my parents to be comfortable with at least being at the wedding maybe not reception. they know i am have a wedding but my mom has told me she is not comfortable attending. how do i explain this to my in-laws without them thinking negatively about them?
Posted by chitwngal2010[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry your parents don't want to show off your child. I'm sure you love him/ her more than anyone and would love to include your child in the wedding. I don't know how old he/ she is. To please your parents and have a better chance of  your parents coming, maybe don't have your child as a part of the wedding party (flower girl/ bridesmaid/ ring-bearer/ groomsman)? Let them sit in the front row and sit near you for the reception but not actually be a part of the ceremony? This must be so hard for you.