Appropriate Age for the Ringbearer

technochocolate

I have just chosen my flower girl, who is the perfect age.  Her brother is also a really great kid that I love to pieces.  I'd like him to be my ringbearer, but he's going to be 10 years old when I have my wedding (not mention that he's very mature for his age).  I've heard some say that I should just go with whatever I want, but it almost seems demeaning to him to give him a job usually delegated to the 6-and-under crowd.

So, what's proper and what's modern?  Opinions please!

[Deleted User]

He is only too old for it when he protests or says its a job for a baby or little kids, stuff like that. It is perfectly fine to have an older RB. If he is cool with it, I say go for it. Usually the RB doesn't really bring up the rings on the pillow anyway, usually the BM or MOH has them, but with him being a bit older, you may be able to tie the real ones to the pillow - just a thought that popped into my head while reading your thread.

jlmarks83

Our FG is 9...and she'll be 3 months away from her 10th birthday on our wedding day.  I agree with PP.  They're only too old for the job when they start complaining that it's a job for a baby or little kid.  Our FG is FI's cousin and she was ecstatic when we asked her.  I understand what you're saying about your possible RB being mature for his age.  Our FG is 9 going on 30.  She's the youngest of all of the cousins and is used to being around adults, but she really couldn't be more excited to be our FG.  I wouldn't have wanted any kids in the wedding if they were under 6...heck even under 7.  I'm glad our FG is older because I know she's not going to throw a temper tantrum or cause a scene.  And she's old enough that her parents won't have to leave the wedding early to get her to bed.

lingersoll

If he wants to be in the wedding and doesn't feel like being the ringbearer is to childish, then his age definately doesn't matter.

We aren't picking a "typical" flowergirl and ringbearer.  Both will be FI's female cousins.  The flowergirl will be 9 and the ringbearer will be 11, and they will both be in dresses.  We wanted the people that we cared about the most to be in the wedding and didn't care about age or what was traditional.

Also, as a PP mentioned, since they are older the ring will both actually be tied to the pillow. 

SaraC6

I'm having my brother (16) and my FI sister (14) be our grown up ring bearers together. I was going to have her hold my ring and my brother hold James, then they would give them to each of us to put on each other when the time comes. I don't think age matters, at least not to me. I felt they were too young to be a Bridesman or Groomsmen and I wanted them to be a part of the wedding. Carrying the rings is an important job and when no pillows are used I think they will be quite honored.