No mother of the bride, thoughts on new traditions?

motohoe11

My mom recently passed away and Im looking at ways to remember her and still have a happy wedding day with out bringing to much notice to my mom being dead. I would like to keep tradition as much as possible. I will have an in memory table for our grandparents and the favor table is partially in memory of my mom (a candy bar). Id like to include something else, but not the open chair for her, too morbid. any ideas?

alenahamlin

My mother is also deceased so I know how hard it is to balance emotions during this time. I have a large framed photo of my mother in her wedding gown that I will have either my brother or sister walk down the isle prior to the bridal parties entrance and placed on a stand to the side of the alter.

handfast4me

I am so sorry for your loss, it's hard not having a mom there.  Both of my folks were long dead when I remarried, so I had one line inserted into the ceremony:  "and the spirit of those not here in person are present. . .  "  Just a quick reference, and then we moved on.  But even that one little line had me crying.  Remember that this may be an emotional day for you anyway, and adding that to it, while I know you want to keep your mom in your thoughts, could send you over the edge.   Whatever you decide, I truly believe that your mom will be with you.  

Jen4948

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Whatever you decide to do, the one piece of advice I'll offer is: don't make the tributes to your mother's memory too ubiquitous or too conspicuous.  Remember, this is supposed to be a happy occasion, so you don't want to have too strong or too many reminders of the deceased, because that lends notes of sadness to it.  A mention in a program would be fine, as would be carrying or wearing something that belonged to your mother.  But a "in memory table" might be too uncomfortable for your guests-some of whom probably won't have been acquainted with your mother.

[Deleted User]

I like the saying that the prior poster put. It covers all people who are no longer with you.

Did your mom have a favorite flower that you can incorporate into your bouquet? Or maybe a piece of jewelry of hers that you can wear? Then you and your father and possible a few other people will know the meaning but it's showing a happy memory of her.

Wife Kitty

One bride I know had lost her father to cancer, but still wanted him to "walk her down the aisle," so she hid a locket in her bouquet with his picture in it. That way she still had a photo she got to look at before the doors opened, but it was something special that only she could see so it wouldn't upset her mom or anyone else. There was also a touching and subtle reference to it in the program, just in case anyone wondered why she was walking down the aisle alone.

Similarly, maybe you could have a picture of your mom in your bouquet so that you can carry the comfort that she is with both you and your father at that meaningful moment.

I am so sorry for your loss.

motohoe11

Thank you everyone for your various views on the matter.

I dont want to do an empty chair or mention her, because it will make me more emotional then I will be the day of. I have already had so many break downs about it. I never thought I would be getting married just one year after her passing.

My mom loved candy and her candy stash is still next to her bed. I was thinking of dedicating our Candy buffet to her? Frame the words "Love is sweet, enjoy a treat!" and in small font "This Portion of the reception is in loving memory of the mother of the bride, ___ _____" Most of her friends will be at the reception and they openly discuss her, even when I am not open to speaking about her. I purchased bouquet charms for my grandparents and mother, so they will be there.

My bridal shower and ceremony are taking place at my childhood home, is that too much for those that it may hurt to be in her house?!  or should I not care?