bridal showers

Tink1704

So my mom has been really not into helping me with planning my wedding aas I thought she would have been. So my MOH is throwing me a bridal shower and my bachlorette party. My mom suddenly says that it is traditionally the mother to throw the bridali party for the matriarchs of the families. Is this true?? One option was to have 2 bridal showers since the MOH has already started putting it together. I don't want anyone to get upset but what is tradition? I have no sisters and no SIL's to use as examples of what to do.

jlmarks83

I've always heard that it's bad etiquette for the MOB to throw a shower for her daughter.  It's kind of like saying, "Come give my daughter gifts."  My aunt and godmother are throwing my shower and my cousin (a BM) is having a lingerie party for me.

quotequeen

In some circles it is common for MOB to throw the shower, in others it's considered rude (because she's asking for gifts for her daughter).  If your mom wants to throw one and you have enough people from different groups to invite to two showers, then you can accept two.  (Nobody should be invited to both except the mothers and WP.)  Or you can tell your mom that your MOH is already planning your shower, but if she wants to help she should contact MOH.

MairePoppy

It was traditionally considered rude for the 'matriachs (mother, grandmother, etc....)of the family' to host a shower for the bride, because it was too much like panhandling.

Nowadays, anyone but the bride or groom can host an engagement party, shower, bachelorette. It is common now for the MOB and/or MOG to host a shower or even two seperate showers. Let your MOH know that mom is willing to throw the shower. She might be very relieved that someone else is willing to take on that responsibility. If MOH still wants to do it, just divide the guest list into two smaller showers.

bbyckes

I've also learned around these parts that having a shower thrown by the MOB is bad form.  If she wants to throw you one, let her.

[Deleted User]

A friend of the family and FMIL threw my shower. I do know my Mom and Grandma helped a bit. The reason why I only had one shower is bc we live out of state and could only travel home once (and our family and friends understood the circumstances). So, in my case it was kinda like a all-in-one combination, and I never heard any crap about it from anyone.

mica178

Could you have your mother and the MOH co-host the bridal shower together?  Or if your mother wants to do a family only thing for the women in the families, ask her to host a non-shower event such as a ladies' tea.

Pirata13

My mom pretty much planned mine, but my aunts were involved also.  My one aunt asked my mom who my godmother is because in her family, the godmother traditionally threw the shower (which my mom has done for her 2 goddaughters). My mom explained that my godmother (aunt on dad's side) is 80 and not in the greatest health, certainly not in condition to plan and host a shower. So my aunt offered her home for the shower and my mom handled the catering and favors and all. 

I would encourage your MOH to talk to your mom about planning a shower together and working on a family/friend guest list. And obviously the bachelorette party stays in the hands of your MOH and is you & your girlfriends only.

KabFrr

My mother hosted my shower and my sister's...as our wedding parties were right out of college and some weren't working. No one said it was strange.

elmulvey

You could have more than one...if you have different people to invite, of course.  I am having three (not by choice, just by coincidence); and they are in three different states with three different guest lists.