Getting married before the wedding...

Penguin=love

Holy Moly this post really got people up in arms! I don't know if I"m too late to weight in on this but I just wanted to say that I didn't think it was a bad idea at all.  In fact, the thought had occurred to my FI and I to have a private moment for just the two of us where we were offically married on a different date, not because we are selfsih but because we are very private people and would like the option of both... having a private moment AND sharing the excitement with friends and family.  I'm not sure if we will actually do this either, but it is something we have discussed extensively.  We are very shy and the thought of sharing our vows in front of our friends and family is a bit daunting but we are willing to do it for those that mean the most in our lives because it means a lot to them to have this moment.  At the same time, that love and support should be reciprocated if the couple chooses to have a private ceremony before the public display... whether that is the same day or months apart shouldn't matter.  A wedding is very expensive party to coordinate and those friends and family that would be so enraged that the couple got offically married before the wedding without using the proper semantics to re-title it is a "vow renewal" doesn't desearve a a space at your joyous occassion.  I hope you do whatever it is that would start your marriage off in the right direction for you and your FI.  Good luck and don't let the Debbie Downers of this world ruin your idea of the perfect wedding... Be it one or two!  

lhogden

Okay,
My husband and I are married. We were married by the Justice of the Peace because he is from South Korea and I am from the US. He was going back to Korea and due to a draft over there we went ahead and decided to get married because we knew we wanted to be together. Our whole family was aware of this.  

We are Catholic and we have never received our marriage blessing from the church. Next year we are going to have a small marriage blessing ceremony at the church and then we're having a reception afterwards for our close friends and family that understand and want to celebrate our marriage.

If there are people that are going to be rude and don't understand your situation, you don't want them at your wedding anyway.