Future Mother In Law wants blusher veil

rblac014

"he's not supposed to see you until you are standing in front of him! it's your dad's last chance to kiss you! TRADITION says....."

I do NOT want one...my mom hated hers, I feel like I'm lost in mosquito netting when we put it infront of my face in the store. It was miserable. Am I stupid or stuckup for wanting everyone to be able to see my face when I walk down the aisle? I don't want to feel like I'm trapped in a potato sack. How do I tell her no without hurting her feelings? Or do I just suck it up?

Peavy

Don't just suck it up if you hate it.  Let her know that you appreciate the tradition, but it's not right to you.  Your dad can still kiss you without the veil.

Gabrielle76

Just tell her what you told us. "I think they're uncomfortable, and I don't really care for blusher veils". Then change the subject. 

ElisabethJoanne

I don't think you ever need to "suck it up" about what goes on your body, with the exception of medical treatment and uniforms (including bridesmaids' dresses, though you can always decline to be a bridesmaid).

Consider telling your FMIL less of your wedding plans.

mcskatcat

Put your foot down on it.  This is your choice.  No one else should be telling you how to look on your wedding day.

Miss_2010

Agree with everybody.  Nobody should have a say in what you wear anyway, you're the one who has to wear it.  I wouldn't entertain the conversation anymore, I would say "actually I am not wearing a blusher because I don't like it", change the topic. 

Annas2013

Wear what you want.  Tell her you don't like it.  Politely of course.  If she's a mature adult, she'll drop the subject.  If not, then just change the subject whenever she brings it up.  

I did the same with my mom, although she wanted a cathedral length veil and I wanted a birdcage.  You have to wear what makes you happy.

artbyallie

Remind her that that "tradition" dates from a time where the veil was meant to hide the bride's ugliness so her poor groom couldn't run screaming when he saw her coming down the aisle. I didn't wear any sort of veil. In fact, my mom didn't either when she got married back in the day.

torisarah

Honesty is the best policy. In 10 years, its not her that is going to look at your photos and wish you hadn't worn one. Or her tripping down the aisle or feeling like she is in a mosquito net. DO not suck it up - but politely and firmly explain to her that it makes you uncomfortable - What does your dad think? He may have a really simple way of looking at it - ie. ("It is up to you and whatever you want is what you should do, but if it also saves me from fumbling with such delicate material in front of every person we know - I'm for not wearing it") Such simplicity has helped me : )  Us girls tend to overthink. Good Luck !!

aragx6

There is no way I would wear anything I didn't want to because my FMIL wanted me to (or my own mom for that matter) or because it was "tradition"

pink34562000

Your FMIL is picking out her attire - dress, shoes and accessories. You would like to pick out your attire - dress, shoes and accessories. If one of those accessories is wearing a beautiful clip instead of a veil, you should wear the clip with no veil. 

Tell your FMIL that you understand her point of view about tradition, but you should be able to choose what you want to wear. Just like how your FMIL is choosing what she wants to wear.

kmmssg

Don't wear a blusher.  I can't remember the last wedding I went to where I saw a bride wear a blusher.  I'm sure it is because they were worn back in my day and that was over 30 years ago.  Do read up on the history behind it too.  You can educate her on how disgusting that little custom really was.

mbrischoux

As for the whole "He's not supposed to see you until you are right in front of him" thing goes, I did't wear a blusher and my groom couldn't see me...he can't see far without his glasses (I told him to wear them, he said no.  Silly boy) and he didn't get contacts before our wedding, so he literally couldn't see me until I was right in front of him, anyway!

I've never been to a wedding with a blusher, and you are not obligated to wear one.  Either don't talk wedding attire with her at all or just say, "It's really not my taste, but that painting over here IS!  Isn't it fabulous!?!" or some other subject changer.

leogirl13

Why would your FMIL get a say in what you are wearing anyway? Is she paying for your dress? Just tell her that you've already gotten your attire for the day and leave it at that.

jmichlik

I chose not to wear one (actually I didn't wear a veil at all but that's another story). Several people who had worn them for their weddings advised me not to for a reason I would never have guessed in advance: they said sometimes if the light hit them in such a way the pictures came out where you couldn't see their faces. I'm sure that wouldn't happen every time but that was a definite turnoff to me.

Lisa50

If your FMIL is so sensitive that her feelings will be hurt because of your wardrobe choices, there is no way you can break the news without hurting her feelings.  So, either tell her or not.  I'd vote for not and, if she asks, tell her she'll just need to wait and see -- to be surprised along with everyone else.  Then, let it go.

Good luck!