Wedding Party

regarding groomsmen (XP)

The bridesmaids are wearing teal (a last minute change from black) 
FI is wearing a grey suit, white shirt and we're still deciding on the tie. 
Fi wants groomsman to wear black suits, white shirts, and we're still deciding on ties. 
Then FI told me last night that he doesn't want GM to have to buy a black suit. I said they could just rent one and he said he doesn't want them to spend any money. I asked what he wanted them to wear and he said they could all just wear a suit they already own. 
He has 8 men standing with him and I know for a fact that at least three of them already own a black suit, and none of them are destitute or anything. I know GM wear is up to the man, and maybe I'm being overbearing, but I just don't think it looks right to have FI in grey, a few in black, and the rest in whatever they had laying around.  
I think people agree to be in WP knowing they'll spend a little bit of money. I don't think asking them to procure a black suit is out of line, but I honestly have no idea how groomsmen work. 
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Re: regarding groomsmen (XP)

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_regarding-groomsmen-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0bb1879f-4d50-4e12-8e37-52e2898800f0Post:655e71ce-0388-4264-92ad-727c23d3d2b4">regarding groomsmen (XP)</a>:
    [QUOTE]The bridesmaids are wearing teal (a last minute change from black)  FI is wearing a grey suit, white shirt and we're still deciding on the tie.  Fi wants groomsman to wear black suits, white shirts, and we're still deciding on ties.  Then FI told me last night that he doesn't want GM to have to buy a black suit. I said they could just rent one and he said he doesn't want them to spend any money. I asked what he wanted them to wear and he said they could all just wear a suit they already own.  He has 8 men standing with him and I know for a fact that at least three of them already own a black suit, and none of them are destitute or anything. I know GM wear is up to the man, and maybe I'm being overbearing, but I just don't think it looks right to have FI in grey, a few in black, and the rest in whatever they had laying around.   I think people agree to be in WP knowing they'll spend a little bit of money. I don't think asking them to procure a black suit is out of line, but I honestly have no idea how groomsmen work. 
    Posted by bridalmarch[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You are supposed to ask them for budgets and then choose attire within that.  Since you are making assumptions about their financial resourses and expectations, it sounds like this hasn't been done.  Therefore, you have no idea whether they can spend the money to buy or rent suits.</div><div>
    </div><div>In the end, your FI is right.  It doesn't matter if all their suits match perfectly.  Let him make this call, and then buy them all matching ties to pull them together.  

    </div>
  • bridalmarchbridalmarch member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2012
    I don't know whether FI has asked them for a budget or not. I doubt it, but it's possible. I've never rented a suit and Fi only owns one suit so pricing them is not my niche. I've seen black suits at Goodwill. 

    I didn't know if it worked the same way as going bridesmaids shopping since it seems like everyone focuses on that. We went bridesmaids shopping yesterday and managed to find something in budget that everyone loved, then went out for lunch and cocktails. I don't really see FI doing that with the boys. If we say "please wear black" I guess I'm just wondering if we really need a price point. They can buy an Armani or go to Target and buy a black jacket and pants, or rent whatever they want. 

    Not matching perfectly is meh. I'm sure there's a different in preference in pleating and buttons and doulbe and single breasted.  I don't love a matchy matchy look anyway. But having the groom in grey, some in black, some in brown, some in charcoal, some in linen, some in seersucker, some in khakis and a jacket and so forth and so on seems silly. 

    ETA: I'm  a firm believer in "You can't do better until you know better" so I promise I'm not trying to be combative. I honestly don't know what the proper channel is here.  FI has been in two weddings and wore a tux he owns for them, so he never really paid attention to what the other guys did. 
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  • I agree that different color suits won't really look right.  It will be ok to have the groom in grey and the GM in black, but if the GM are wearing black, I think they all need to wear black.  

    I don't think you're going to have as much of an issue with different styles of black suits.  Yes, they will have different cuts and styles, but a bunch of guys in black suits will still look cohesive, especially if they wear matching ties.  It's sort of along the same lines as bridesmaids wearing different dresses in the same color and fabric.  
  • Personally, I wouldnt be very happy with this plan either. But if all the GM wear black, I dont think anyone will really notice if they arent the same exact style; in that case, I would probably just let it go. If they are just planning on wearing whatever they have around (black, brown, grey or whatever), I would try to convince FI to work on a more cohesive plan for the GM attire. I understand your FI not wanting GM to have to shell out a ton of cash to be in the wedding, but they have to expect there is some cost. I couldn't imagine being a BM in a wedding and just expecting to wear a dress that I already had in my closet.
  • We are doing rental tuxes for FH, GMs and both of our fathers.  I know that all the boutiques I went to for dress shopping offered deals for tuxes/suits.  And the more members needing to rent, the higher the discount.  Did they have anything at the place you got your BM dresses?  You may want to ask at that place or where you got your dress from.
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  • He really needs to talk about this with his GM. They can get suits all over- From Walmart to Nordstroms, or they can rent. Just as long as they are all the same color they will look fine!
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