Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

How to replace the Maid of Honor??

lillyfootlillyfoot
in Wedding Party
Hello, I'm getting married in 32 days. 2 days ago my maid of honor announced that she will not be my maid of honor. How do I go about filling her shot? Should I "promote" one of the bridemaids? or should I ask someone to fill in? HELP!
Report Reply to Post

Re: How to replace the Maid of Honor??

  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    You just don't have a maid of honor.  There is no need to replace her or promote any member of the WP. If they weren't your choice then, they shouldn't be your choice now.  You do not have to have an MOH. Sorry she dropped out, that really sucks.
    Report Reply
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    No and no.
    image
    Report Reply
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    You don't promote.  You don't fill in.  A BM can hold your flowers during the ceremony.  If your state is one that requires someone to sign the license as a witness, anyone of legal age can do that.Sorry your MOH bailed on you, but you don't really need to do anything more about it than say "I'm sorry you won't be in the WP.  Thanks for letting me know."
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    First, I'm very sorry she bailed on you :( Second, I wouldn't announce her "successor" but if one of the other BMs volunteers or asks I would go with it. You won't miss a MOH and neither will your guests. Titles don't matter; what matters are the people who are there who care about you. Even though I technically had a MOH, for all intents and purposes I didn't. However, I did have 3 AMAZING BMs who were the best friends a girl could ask for. I don't look back and regret that my MOH essentially did bail, even though she did show up for the wedding, but I look back and think of how awesome my BMs were. You'll do the same :)
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    To bad that happened to you. Its not necessary to fill that spot. Just leave it has is.
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Well, if she just said that she will not be your MOH then don't promote - just leave the WP as you having all BMs.  Promoting isn't a smart idea and can actually lead to hurt feelings later on by the '2nd runner up' BM.If however the MOH just can't make it to your wedding for extenuating circumstances then list her as 'honorary MOH' since she just can't be there.If it's the former, I'm sorry you're going through this with a month to go.  My guess is that something else is happening that's not so fun as well.
    Report Reply
  • peachkinspeachkins
    First Comment
    Totally agree with pp- don't replace her.  Just have one of the other BMs hold your flowers during the ceremony.  It does stink that she can't be there.  I also agree with Banana- if she had to drop out for good reason, don't even remove her from the program. 
    Report Reply
  • salt78salt78 member
    First Comment
    Don't replace her.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • ffmaidffmaid
    First Comment
    1. you do not need to fill her slot you do not need a moh in order to be married. 2. It is an insult to your remaining bm to promote one of them and not others and an insult to the former moh do not do this 3. I woudl be more concerned with WHY she is not willing to be your MOH a month out then who stands next to you in a photo
    Report Reply
  • artemis82artemis82 member
    First Comment
    I just thought I'd chime in.The OP needs to ask someone to sign as witness if that is in fact the law in her state. "Leaving as is" doesn't sound possible and if promoting is going to look bad, then maybe she should ask her mother or someone not originally in the WP. Either way, though- there is a more important duty than holding flowers or standing beside the bride in pics that needs to be filled here and she can't just ignore it. Someone needs to sign the register. They may not need to be given the title of MOH, but that one duty of the MOH does need to be filled.
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Deanna, for the 1000th time, the person signing the marriage license does NOT have to be the MOH. All that's required is a warm body who witnessed the ceremony. Stop talking about things you clearly know nothing about.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Neither of my grandmothers had a Maid of Honor. I guess I'd better inform them that their marriages are null and void, then. Anyone who's 18+ can sign as the witness. Parent, sibling, regular bridesmaid, an adult who wandered in off the street and saw you get married. Doesn't have to be the Maid of Honor and Best Man. TRADITIONALLY, they are usually the ones to sign, but it's not mandatory that it be the two of them.
    image
    Report Reply
  • ffmaidffmaid
    First Comment
    Deanna- The MOH does not need to sign teh marriage certioficate in some states  nobody signs it in others the priest and 1 witness in some 2 witnesses over 18  ect. It could be anyone over 18. Ugh I've been a MOh repetedly and never signed. My MOH did not sign. My state prefered resident of teh state. So two friends of groom signed. In most cases  I know of parents of the couple sign.
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Deanna, anyone can sign the marriage license.  The person doesn't have to be the MOH in order to do so.The state and county do not care about the title of the person in the wedding.  Your statement that she needs a witness is appropriate but stating that she needs to replace the MOH is completely inappropriate.
    Report Reply
  • artemis82artemis82 member
    First Comment
    I believe I stated that it was the signing of the registry duty that needed to be replaced... I understand that you don't have to call the witness your MOH. Perhaps it is regional or maybe cultural, but where I live the prinicple duty of the MOH is to be the witness on the license.  When you ask someone to be your MOH, that it is the principle duty you are asking them to perform.  I am not saying that they are the only one that can do it, and I never ever said anything like that. I am saying that at least where I live, if your MOH is unable to be at your wedding or you ask her to step down/she steps down you generally need to get someone to step in at least as a witness because that is the duty the maid of honour would perform. Legally there must be a witness, yes it can be anyone- I know that, I'm just saying that traditionally where I live the MOH fills this role and therefore in this role they must be replaced. I hope that makes more sense. 
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Deanna, that's fine to say that someone else must sign the license. Another poster pointed out that another BM could hold the bouquet and yes a different BM can fluff the bride's dress. The point is that while it's fine to ask another BM to help do those things, what isn't OK is to ask another BM to be MOH. The wedding isn't a play or a beauty contest and there are no under studies or runners up.
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If we really want to get traditional it's the best man who signs the license.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards