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Lesbian themed bachelorette party

My cousin's getting married and she doesn't want the typical bachelorette parties with penis gear and all that.  She has always said that if she wasn't with her fiancee, she would have wanted to be a lesbian.  So this is her last hurrah and we're throwing a lesbian themed party... boob cake, girl power songs, etc.  Anybody do this before or have ideas for games and stuff?  She's pretty wild and up for anything.
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Re: Lesbian themed bachelorette party

  • This is incredibly offensive.
    abstruseimpulse
  • What you're proposing is unbelievably offensive.  Please rethink this terrible idea.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
    abstruseimpulse
  • Is she the type to have a sense of humor about this sort of thing? This is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people and if you're not 100% sure she'd get a kick out of it, I'd rethink. Or was it her idea?
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  • Oh please. For all of you who think this is "offensive".  How is it any more offensive than going around with penis stuff and male strippers? Isn't that just exploiting the male body? How is having a penis cake any different than having a boob cake?  The parties are just a bit of fun; comparing this to racism is absurd and really over the top. 
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  • I'm on the "offensive" side also.  Girl power has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
  • She already knows. Do you have party game ideas? 
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  • OP - it's not offensive in the fact that the human body is being exploited as you say.  It's the fact that it comes across as belittling to lesbians and their relationships.  I wouldn't expect a lesbian bride to want a b-party decorated with penises anymore than a gay man to have a boob cake because that  is not what they are interested in or attracted to. In comparison to straight couples, gay couples already don't get much as it is as far weddings and marriage go.  Is it really fair to take away one more piece of that from them?Just go with a girl's night out theme because as OOT said, girl power is about being a girl - not about being gay or straight.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
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  • Personally I am bisexual, and I am very offended at the fact someone would want to use my sexual identity as a party theme. To me discrimination is discrimination.. regardless of what group it is against. It is hard enough for the GLBT community to get taken seriously without someone wanting to purposely turn into into some sort of game or joke. As for the the "girl power" music, being proud of your gender has nothing to do with your sexuality. I have plently of straight friends who fight for women's right just as much as myself or my lesbian/bi friends. You really need to reconsider this idea, not only for the bachlorette, but also the other guests... are you 100% sure that one of them isn't in the closet and is just figuring out how to come out? There is NO WAY anyone can know this, besides that person. And if that is the case, what effect do you think it would have on them? I know personally I would have a lot harder time coming out to friends who would turn it into a joke like this. Are you planning on hosting this at someone's house? Because if we cannot talk you out of doing something so obviously offensive I would hope you could at least have the decency not to take it out into public.
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  • This just seems really strange to me. Do the other guests know it will be a lesbian party? If I came to one of these, I wouldn't be offended, but I would definitely be all WTF? about it.
    image
  • Bachelorette/Bachelor parties typically revolve around sexy stuff... strippers, silly games, penis lollypops, etc.  It's a celebration of sexuality.  Are we making fun of lesbianism just because we are celebrating female sex stuff instead of male? No.  It is just FUN.  Yes it is pseudo-lesbian but it's not malicious.  I don't get offended by penis necklaces because I like penis.   WHy would you be offended by a boob cake because you like boobs? I think people who get their backs up over stuff like this are making issues where they don't need to. Nobody's pounding a bible and saying that gay marriage is a sin or that gay people don't deserve the same things heterosxual do.  If anything, we are just crossing over to celebrate homosexuality for a night. Yes, perhaps based on some stereotypes but it's a general theme.  Weddings themselves are based on gender stereotypes.  Hello, female name changes??? Bride's parents paying?  Bachelorette parties are not typically classy affairs and are a little raunchy.  That's all we're doing except with female sex stuff instead of male. Geez. I guess I will take to Google for game ideas. 
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  • LIndseybell, you're completely missing the point that everyone is making. What if you guys bring all this boob stuff out and start to act crazy and inappropriate. That then gets pushed onto the lesbians. Just do a girl power party. Seriously, this is the craziest idea. And super offensive.
  • the OP seems to be purposefully missing the point. Thats fun.
  • Oh you guys!  Come on!  Let's face it......we ALL love cake no matter what our orientation is and that is clearly the lesson that we should all walk away with from this!
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
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  • I agree with the previous posters that you really need to reconsider this as a "girl" theme not a "lesbian" theme. No lesbian I know would be caught dead at a party like this.As a lesbian myself, I do find it offensive. But mostly, its just tacky.

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  • As some who is bi, I find this extremely offensive. WTF is a girl power song? It seems to me you are stereotyping lesbians. I could understand if your cousin was really gay, but she is not. Or is she? That is a whole other issue. I am sure if she was gay she would not want a boob cake and girl power songs.
    image
  • dude, multiple people are TELLING you this is offensive to them.  why would you insist on knowingly doing something is offensive to people?  it's one thing if you're just ignorant, but you can't claim that anymore.
  • I just cracked up re-reading this thread. lindsey- I would LOVE to see what comes up when you Google 'lesbian themed bachelorette party game ideas"

    alison + irene | 10-10-10 | Studio 450

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  • you could play "pin the beard on the lesbian."
  • I googled. It involves a lot of rainbows.
    image
  • You really don't get how this would be offensive? What if I wanted to have an African American themed party? I would play hip hop music, have everyone dress as thugs, serve fried chicken and promote every other racist stereotype I can think off. Do you think people would find it offensive? Yeah, this is the same thing.
  • my helpful comment was deleted.  if we're deleting offensive, stupid things... this whole thread needs to go. 
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  • but it's a LESBIAN THEMED party!  how can you do it properly without a ridiculous and overt sexual representation of REAL lesbians?!?i just thought using [sexual prop] and performing [certain sexual activity] were par for the course with such a cool theme.   see?  helpful!!!!!!!!/ridiculoussarcasm
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  • I think this is in poor taste
  • FYI just so you know my impression is teh typical bachlorette does not involve penis geear just teh 20 year old ex sorority girl type one. The typicall bachlorette in my crowd invoplves great friends great drinks something like a wine tasting or a concert or comedy show and no humiliating the bride. So you can avoid penis stuff while still not being offensive to lesbians and people with good taste
  • I see that I am WAAAAYYY late to this thread, but want to add my two cents for those who might be just seeing it.

    For me, the greatest offense involved in this idea is that you're all going to go out an act like lesbians for a night, then the bride gets to wake up the next morning and get LEGALLY MARRIED, which I, as a real lesbian, cannot do.  Your idea makes me so mad, it just plain hurts.  If she's that into being a lesbian, maybe you all should turn the party into an awareness raising party.  If you don't want to suffer the hatred that still exists quite plainly for gay people, stay out of our kitchen.  

    I hope the party went well and the bride and groom are perfectly happy.  I celebrated my 10th anniversary with my partner a few days ago.  I wish them the same happiness I have found.  I also wish that my partner and I had the same civil rights as they do.
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