BM Vent

Krissimarie

One of my bridesmaids is now bringing her ex boyfriend to the wedding who up and moved out on her when she was at work one day. She has been struggling for money ever since he moved out and I had told her she could stay at our house and then stay at MOH house the night of the wedding. Now she is bringing the ex bf and MOH doesnt have room for them at her house (BM would have slept on the couch) so now on our wedding night we are going to have 2 house guests in our small house. Is it being a bridezilla to tell her they have to get a motel room the night of the wedding? Plus to top it off this guy doesnt want to come to the actual wedding only the reception and he plans to hang out at our house till the wedding is over (all day during pictures and the wedding isnt till 7pm), and this guy has a history of sealing stuff. FI doesnt want this guy in our house while we are gone. What would you do

banana468

I'd say, "Hosting two people at the time is going to be just too much for us.  Here is a list of affordable hotels in the area!"As Retread will say, "No is not a four letter word."  You don't have to let people into your home while you're there and you certainly don't have to turn it into a B&B while you're gone.

szjones

no.  no unwanted house guests.  this is your wedding night and you should NOT have guests.  and by no circumsntances should you let him stay at your house during the wedding.  he sounds like a complete jerk - he wants to eat your food and drink your booze but can't be bothered to sit through the ceremony?  don't do this, you will regret  it.

ffmaid

" That is nice that you are bringing exboyfriends with you to travel but we are very sorry but it is not possibel for us to add extra guests to hostess at our house that weekend. Perhaps you should consider XYZ motel I hear they have a great continental breakfast" Do not hostess them It is rude to invite a guest to stay in your home

Krissimarie

I told her this morning that if they stay one will have to sleep on the couch and one on the loveseat, but we dont have a bedroom door so it should be interesting. We have a sheet for a door right now. ugg

mbcdefg

Give them the website for a local hotel. Don't take no for an answer. Do NOT let them stay at your house.

megk8oz

I don't see how you saying no would make you a bridezilla ... I don't even see how that would make you "slightly unreasonable". You are not really ever obligated to let people stay at your house under any circumstances. Really, the only way you could be "rude" about this is to tell them no in a mean way (Like say "F*** you guys, he's a theif and this is MY day!" ... that might not be the best approach). So just politely say the night before your wedding, you and FI would feel more comfortable having an evening to yourselves, as you both will have enough to worry about without trying to stress about being a good host. Honestly, anybody who couldn't understand that reasoning is not that great of a friend. Be polite, stand your ground, cheer up. It'll work out!

virgo6256

I agree with all of the other girls. Stand your ground. If you know he steals then under any other circumstances you wouldn't let him in your house alone. Why are you even considering doing that on your wedding day. I certainly wouldn't. There are people in my family that are like than and they aren't even allowed in my house.Just be upfront honest with your friend. And since your FI has already said he doesn't want him there then just let your friend know that it isn't possible.

elizabethspearl

I had a similar situation right before my wedding. FI and I just told the uninvited guests that we really wanted to cherish our last nite before the wedding together. Alone. They'll get the picture. I think that is so rude of her to even ask.

bablingbrooke

Heck no it's not bridezilla! It's sane to not want to host people the night before your wedding.

ecsmiles

Not bridezilla at all!  I really hope you put your foot down and don't let them stay.  Its weird that she'd bring him in the first place, but also pretty darn rude to want to stay with the newlywed couple.  I agree with previous posts that you should give her some hotel/motel information in the area that would be affordable.  Or, suggest coming alone as originally planned.

luv626kee

I think you need to just tell your BM that she is welcome but with all the hustle and bustle going on the night before and day of you simply don't have room for him in your house.  And, frankly, if you're not comfortable having someone you're not close with in your house I think you have every right to say absolutely not.  Good luck!!

blackfire5th

Ditto everyone and also tell her that you will not be able to accomodate him during the day of the wedding. You don't need to give her a reason and if she asks, just repeat "we will not be able to accomodate him during the day." Honestly, I'd be pretty pissed if someone only came for the reception.

Krissimarie

She called me at lunch and we talked about it, and I just explained it to her that we want our privacy the night of the wedding, but they are welcome to stay the night before, but it just isn't feesable for us to "share" our wedding nite with them. I found her a room and gave her the information for the motel to call. She seemed kinda hurt, and I hate being the bad guy, but I dont want to be a pushover either. Check in is 2pm so it will be in plenty of time to get them to the motel before the wedding and pictures.

banana468

You're not being the 'bad guy' by telling her that you need your private time the night of your wedding.She's acting rather insensitive to think that it's even remotely acceptable to stay in your home.As I said, saying 'No,' isn't a bad thing.  What's bad is starting off your marriage putting your friends and not you and your husband first.