Wedding Party

*BJsGirl827*

No one was calling you names or insulting you. I know that wasn't my goal. But there are some real red flags in your situation, and there are big decisions you have to make affirmatively, rather than wait for them to happen to you. You are 100% right that you have to create the best environment you can for the child. But not addressing your future with his/her father is going to be a big problem for the child. You don't have to have a wedding, but that doesn't mean you can't get married. And you don't have to marry the guy, but you need to have The Talk about where the relationship is going. It can't be good for a kid to be raised by two parents who are wavering on whether they want to stay together and just want to "see what happens." I hope you'll come back and see that we're not out to get you, but are bringing in some perspective that you may not have being in the center of it all. Sometimes an outside pair of eyes (or several) can help you see things in a new light.
Courtesy of megk8oz
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"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.

Re: *BJsGirl827*

  • Of course she DD'ed!
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Since she's not here to defend her 'situation' I'll tell you based on what I have read....CS- she just got pregnant (unexpected, but happy) and now is pushing the wedding plans off (even though they aren't engaged)People on this board congratulated her but then told her that there were major red flags because he hadn't commited and they are now expecting a baby.
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • And she didn't seem to want to entertain the idea that things might not work out, or to even consider having a conversation about her future. I want to emphasize SEEM in that. I've just seen too many girls get into a difficult situation (buy a house in a bad market or get pregnant) with guys who won't propose, who do it anyway because they're "sure" he won't disappoint them, and it doesn't turn out well. I think saying "we're putting off all marriage-related talk indefinitely to focus on the baby" is well-intentioned but misguided. How many single moms do you know who didn't think they were going to be parenting alone (or with a part-time dad) and made the assumption that the baby daddy "wasnt' that kind of guy"?
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • @brooke- those guys never ARE that way when you meet them.
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Of course not! Many of them talk the talk, but only real men walk the walk :)
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Actions speak louder than words!"I love you baby....." "THen marry me darnit! I'm having your baby!"
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Crap! I disappear for a  few hours and it's gone? Though that shouldn't surprise me.She tried saying "Well, he's happy, ever since he found out, he's been so extra attentive and loving to me"In the OP, she outright said "I just took the pregnancy test yesterday ...". So all this "extra love lately" hasn't even been a full 24 hours.And she really did NOT want to hear it when people said she and the bf REALLY needed to figure out where the relationship was going.I hate to say it ... but I'm REALLY starting to wonder if the poster that said "Good for you, you managed to trap him!" actually was on to something.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • ^I know she was really offended by that comment and announced she was going to DD after that. It would be convenient, but at the same time these things happen w/o any planning. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Well, normally, I DO give the OPs the benefit of doubt when they start out, and then I start either calling "MUD" or just tell them flat out "you're wrong" after a few responses where it's clear that they're "all about me", or "well, since you don't agree with me, clearly I'm a victim here!"And also, I find it so incredibly hard to wrap my head around a girl getting pregnant as a "trap" ... but to me, I never treated the concept of getting pregnant flippantly. Most girls think of baby showers and how cute infants are. I'm actually quite the opposite, I fear babies because I'm all too aware how much maintenance they require (Like one getting the stomach flu at 2am after your 4th night in a row of no sleep). Plus, I get that its a human life, not a chess piece. But there ARE girls that DON'T think like me.I've read her other posts, not just THIS DD ... and while I really hate thinking this, she really did strike me as somebody who was shallow and delusional enough to not understand that a baby isn't going to speed up a proposal that was genuinely coming someday. And in her case, it sorta seemed like the guy would eventually marry her based on "Well, we've been together LONG enough and you won't stop bugging me about it, so sure, let's get married".

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I think I recalled in her earlier other posts (besides the DD) she had talked about how she and her boyfriend were trying to conceive. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seriously think I read that.That's why it was difficult for me to believe conception was a surprise.
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    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • That's always been the big question around here.
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    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Licia ... I think you might be right now that I think about it ... cuz I could have sworn I read somebody saying "You realize a baby costs way more than that ring he allegedly can't afford".But ... it may not have been her. There was a similarly crazy girl hanging out on NEY (Well, BJ hangs on NEY, too, but this one was also saying "Oh, well, we don't have a ring because it would be irresponsible to just put $5,000 on a credit card" or something like that), so now I can't remember if it was BJ or the other girl.CRAP!

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • Talk about irresponsible...
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • No, BJ was definitely saying something like that, because a couple of us here responded that engagement rings really don't cost that much (you can get a decent one with a real diamond for like $400 from a reputable jeweler).  Babies are INFINITELY more expensive.I really hope this is MUD, because if not it makes me really sad.  That poor girl has a long, hard road ahead of her.  Especially these days, a baby gives absolutely no guarantee that someone will stick around, and commitment-phobes do NOT get all excited when something like a baby enters the picture.  I give even odds that he'll only keep smiling long enough to pack his bags.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Aerin, I was all concerned in that post before she deleted it! lol
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Which, don't get me started on people that insist engagement rings cost thousands.I remember a while back on P & E a girl was getting annoyed w/her cousin, because her cousin wanted to "trade in" her promise ring to put money towards a "real" ring, and then described the "promise ring", down to like carat size and all, and saying that her cousin needed to get off her high horse about it...Wouldn't you know it, that biotch's "promise ring" is my "real" engagement ring? I think I'm going to be a lot happier, despite my clearly inferior ring, lol.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I hope she's MUD mainly because if she's not that poor child may be in for a rough start in life. If she's real I really hope she gets it together and acts in the best interest of the child. It was so irresponsible getting pregnant (since it sounds intentional) but now that its happened she has to think about someone besides herself.
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