Wedding Party

GM won't get his fitting done!

OK so I need advice to help my fiance.  He has 2 brothers, one he is closer with and that is his BM, the other is a GM.  He has already told us that do to his job (he's a chef) and the time of year is peak season, he doesn't know if he can take a Fri off for the rehersal and the Sat for the wedding and this totally gets on my nerves already since he should be honored to be in the wedding and do these 2 small things we ask him for. 

Now the entire groomsman party has gotten their fittings and he still hasn't!  The wedding is 4 months away and although we're told we still have time we have made this extremely easy for him.  He doesn't live thatfar but it is on an island and so we've offered to meet him at the ferry and take him to the shop or have told him he can get measured on the island and call in his measurements to Men's Warehouse.  MW called my fiance the other day to ask about the last GM and so he texted his brother asking when he would be getting this done and his brother was so rude...saying that it was getting annoying that he was again hearing about the fitting and that he'd better stop talking about it before he got any more annoyed.

This to me is not how someone should act when they are invited to be part of your wedding.  Any suggestions on how to deal with it??  My Fiance already said he doesn't want to ask the BM to step in and deal with it although that's what I thought should happen.

(sorry for the legthy post)

Re: GM won't get his fitting done!

  • TiffannieFTiffannieF member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    I understand you are frustrated but IMHO I would get annoyed if you kept bugging me to get a fitting for a tux 4 months in advance.

    We rented our tux's from MW.  You need to call MW and find out the last day to get fitted with out penalty, how much penalty is, and the absolute latest day to order with penalty then rely this information to your FBIL.  At his point he will be making the decision to get tux with or with out penalty.

    However unfortunate it would be if your FBIL could not take time off of work for his brother's wedding please understand that he does have certain obligations for work.  A brother can forgive where as a job can't and could fire him.  I hope you don't think your wedding is more important than his job. 

    He can miss the RD, although it would be unfortunate, being at the wedding is the most important thing and if I had to chose between the 2 of what my brother could attend I would rather him be at the wedding and not at the RD.
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  • We used Men's Warehouse and the guys had up to 2 weeks before the wedding to get their measurements in. We had GM in various states picking up at different locations and this was the policy everywhere.  And they could still order them after that with a late fee.  He has plenty of time.

    I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and Fridays and Saturdays are difficult days to miss, especially for the higher ups.  Cut him some slack.  Missing the rehearsal isn't a big deal.  If he has half a brain, the BM can fill him in on where to stand right before the ceremony.  

    ETA:  And MW would call me occasionally looking for info.  They just want to follow-up and make sure the order will be completed.  And they would keep me posted on who needed fitted just so I would know.  I don't think them calling = urgency to get measurements.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_gm-wont-get-his-fitting-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:148242cd-ce08-4aa3-9576-3c3ea8cf375cPost:005f1ab3-2781-4a78-9090-431fab3c6c5b">Re: GM won't get his fitting done!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just give him a deadline for when it needs to be done and leave it up to him.  If he doesn't get it done, he's taken himself out of the wedding.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    agree. He is an adult and knows what he is supposed to do.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_gm-wont-get-his-fitting-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:148242cd-ce08-4aa3-9576-3c3ea8cf375cPost:e68a5605-feea-4d1c-be2f-5a439e0496b1">GM won't get his fitting done!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK so I need advice to help my fiance.  He has 2 brothers, one he is closer with and that is his BM, the other is a GM.  <strong>He has already told us that do to his job (he's a chef) and the time of year is peak season, he doesn't know if he can take a Fri off for the rehersal and the Sat for the wedding and this totally gets on my nerves already since he should be honored to be in the wedding and do these 2 small things we ask him for</strong>.  Now the entire groomsman party has gotten their fittings and he still hasn't!  The wedding is 4 months away and although we're told we still have time we have made this extremely easy for him.  He doesn't live thatfar but it is on an island and so we've offered to meet him at the ferry and take him to the shop or have told him he can get measured on the island and call in his measurements to Men's Warehouse.  MW called my fiance the other day to ask about the last GM and <strong>so he texted his brother asking when he would be getting this done and his brother was so rude...saying that it was getting annoying that he was again hearing about the fitting and that he'd better stop talking about it before he got any more annoyed. This to me is not how someone should act when they are invited to be part of your wedding</strong>.  Any suggestions on how to deal with it??  My Fiance already said he doesn't want to ask the BM to step in and deal with it although that's what I thought should happen. (sorry for the legthy post)
    Posted by sboule80[/QUOTE]

    1. Just because you are getting married doesn't mean that your fiance's brother stops having a life.  He flat out told you that this is his busy season and he isn't sure he can get the time off work.  You act like he's just lounging around on a beach somewhere and that your wedding should just be the beesknees of things to do.  Please.  Get over yourself.

    2.  He's annoyed that you guys are asking so much.  It's quite simple - give him the info and leave him be.  Guys don't need months and months to order tuxes.
  • Your FBIL might not be able to get off work for the wedding?  Ok, yeah, that rather sucks, but this is his job.  Your wedding does not trump his need to pay his bills.  Give him the information about the fitting and all the dates involved, and don't bring it up.  If he can make it, he'll be there.  If he can't, bringing it up over and over again probally makes him feel worse about the situation.
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  • We are getting our tuxes from Jos A Banks and our deadline was just last Friday before the late fee kicked in.  And guess what?  Two GMs when on Saturday.  And I'm 3 weeks from my wedding.  You are bugging him 4 months in advance!!!!!

    And if your FBIL is always this busy during the summer, you should have consulted him before picking your wedding date.  If he is considered a VIP, this should have been taken into account.

    And your FBIL doesn't need to attend the rehearsal.  I was in a wedding where the MOH got lost going to the rehearsal, so since I was standing next to her during the ceremony, I just quietly instructed her on what she had to do.  Which wasn't much anyway.

    I think you just need to step back and take a deep breath. 
  • You're micromanaging.  He has MORE than enough time to get fitted. 

    He also should not have to take time off work to attend your rehearsal.  If he can't make it, the world will not end.



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